5 Reasons You Should Forgive the Unforgivable

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You're beyond hurt and angry and forgiveness seems impossible. Here are five reasons why you should forgive the unforgivable anyway.

Why should you forgive them?

Every day you’re reminded that:

  • The loss was too great.
  • The abuse was too severe.
  • The betrayal was too huge.
  • The loss is too great.

It seems like every hope and dream you had for the future is gone, and your life will never be what you planned.

And to top it all off, they don’t seem to care:

  • They’ve offered no apology.
  • They’ve shown no remorse.
  • They’ve spoken no regret.

So what are you supposed to do?

5 Reasons to Forgive the Unforgivable?

1. Jesus commanded it.

 “Do not judge others, and God will not judge you; do not condemn others, and God will not condemn you; forgive others, and God will forgive you.  Give to others, and God will give to you. Indeed, you will receive a full measure, a generous helping, poured into your hands—all that you can hold. The measure you use for others is the one that God will use for you.” Luke 6:37–38

2. God forgives your past, present, and future. 

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31–32

For His unfailing love toward those who fear Him is as great as the height of the heavens above the earth. He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west. The Lord is like a father to His children, tender and compassionate to those who fear Him. Psalm 103:11–13

3. Forgiveness unites and strengthens.

I am in them and You are in me. May they experience such perfect unity that the world will know that You sent me and that You love them as much as You love me. John 17:23

4. Forgiveness heals and frees.

He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds. Psalm 147:3

“The Lord has put His Spirit in me, because He appointed me to tell the Good News to the poor. He has sent me to tell the captives they are free and to tell the blind that they can see again. God sent me to free those who have been treated unfairly, and to announce the time when The Lord will show His kindness.” Luke 4:18

5. Unforgiveness hurts mentally, emotionally, physically, and spiritually. 

“There is an enormous physical burden to being hurt and disappointed,” says Karen Swartz, M.D., director of the Mood Disorders Adult Consultation Clinic at The Johns Hopkins Hospital. Chronic anger puts you into a fight-or-flight mode, which results in numerous changes in heart rate, blood pressure and immune response. Those changes, then, increase the risk of depression, heart disease and diabetes, among other conditions. Forgiveness, however, calms stress levels, leading to improved health.” (Hopkins Medicine)

Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results. James 5:16

Forgiveness is rarely if ever easy…

And it’s especially hard when the person who hurt you is someone close . . . someone you love and trust.

I get it. I’ve been in your shoes.

The pain was so deep I didn’t want to get out of bed. Someone I loved with all my heart was gone and I didn’t know if I was looking at my new future. All my hopes and dreams were turned upside down, and I felt like if I forgave—I would be saying it didn’t matter. That just maybe I didn’t love as deeply as I believed.

Then I started having headaches. I was anxious. I had trouble sleeping. I felt awful.

I knew God wanted me to forgive. Completely. He was asking me to give Him all my pain and loss. He was telling me to trust Him with everything. No holding back.

I wish I could tell you I obeyed Him immediately.

I didn’t.

Thankfully, the Holy Spirit didn’t give up on me.

Have you had to forgive the unforgivable? Are you having a hard time forgiving now?

Join me tomorrow to find out how I forgave the unforgivable, and how I believe you can too

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About Deb

Thank you so much for visiting CMB. I'm glad you're here. Please visit About Blessing Counting and Deb at the top of the page, and don't forget to leave a comment and subscribe before you go. God bless you!

9 thoughts on “5 Reasons You Should Forgive the Unforgivable

  1. Yes, I have had to forgive the unforgiveable….possible only through the guidance of Jesus and a Christian counselor…It took me a very long time to get there, but oh how worth it all. My anger, hurt and bitterness was not hurting the other person, not at all. But the freedom I found through forgiving them is a gift like no other. I knew I’d finally forgiven them when my thoughts and life and time were no longer spent obsessing about them. Thank you for these wise words, Deb.

    1. Great truth Jane. Our bitterness and pain is self-destructive, and giving it to God is the beginning of freedom and restored happiness. Thank you for visiting Jane, and for sharing your experience. God bless you!

  2. Being unforgiving is a sure-fire way to make us ill, indeed. Yes, it can be the hardest thing we’ve ever had to do, but it is absolutely necessary for our spiritual, emotional and physical well-being. Jesus knew what He was talking about! 🙂

    1. You’re right Martha . . . it is absolutely necessary. It’s like releasing a weight that has been holding us down. God’s wisdom is always for our good! I just wish it didn’t take me so long to apply it at times. Hugs!

  3. Perfect place to land tonight (coming from Unite). I will be flying to San Diego in a couple of weeks to meet one sister and unite with the middle one and her son and family. That middle sis chose to believe a dementia-caused accusation from our dear mother (who has since passed away) that I had stolen all her money. This one sister chose to believe it and then chose to torment me for three years. I forgave her in my heart and turned to God to help me get past my human desires as you have listed above. It was extremely difficult. Even my mother quickly realized that I would never do such a thing in her dementia-riddled mind, yet this sister would not let go of the lie. But she and I are talking and sharing life’s turns in a very surface manner. That is our relationship: on the surface, but at least we have one.
    I will be with her for several days and pray that we are all in a good place. I know that God will be by my side the whole time. I have copied the Scriptures down and will be praying them, meditating over them as I prepare to go. Thank you for this. I have been helped as well as blessed.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    1. I will be praying that your visit with your sister goes very well. It is hardest to forgive those closest to us. We ask “why?” We want to understand.

      Even without answers forgiveness is the solution and our only hope for restoration. I’m so thankful for you and your sister that you are beginning to move in the right direction. Will keep praying that it continues. Blessings to you!

  4. Deb, I love the reminder that forgiveness unites and strengthens. There are people in my life I am still working on forgiving. But prayer helps me along the way. Thank you for sharing your journey.

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