If You Want to Be Blessed, You’ve Got to Be OK With Being Hated

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I’m so excited to introduce you to Kris Reece. You’re going to love her.

Kris is passionate about helping others unleash their hidden potential and become all God created them to be.

I want that, don’t you?!

After you’ve read this and made Kris feel welcome, like you always do, go over and check out her latest post titled, How I Broke Up with Control and Got My Life Back. 

But first, sit back and relax and find out why…

What you give your focus to is what you give your power to. Focus on Jesus, He’ll bless you in ways you’ve never dreamed possible.

If You Want to Be Blessed, You’ve Got to Be OK With Being Hated

I like to be liked.  Who doesn’t?

Yes, I’ll admit, I was one of those gals who would become whatever anyone needed me to be just to be liked. My core group of friends were not the issue, they accepted me for who I was, but that group was small.  it was actually the needs and expectations of people I barely knew that drove me to be a people pleaser.

Why did I care so much about what others thought of me?

I spent so much time in the analysis of this that it exhausted me.  I reached a point where I said “ENOUGH”

This was not a characteristic that I wanted to keep, so I ditched it and went on a relentless pursuit of God’s will for my life

I said, “That’s it, my days of trying to please people are done, I am going to fulfill my God-given purpose.”

God answers prayer. 

He began to show me what He created me for and opportunities began to open up for me that I never thought possible.

But Boy, was I in for a rude awakening.  The more God blessed me, the more I found people hating me.  Some people were outwardly vocal is their disdain, but most were secret and passive-aggressive in their hatred towards me.

Now, for this insecure little girl trapped in a grown woman’s body, nothing could have been more devastating.  I wanted to be blessed abundantly but I also have a deep desire to be liked.  Couldn’t I have my cake and eat it too?

So, I prayed and I was reminded of the story of Joseph in Genesis 37.  Joseph was favored by his father Jacob and was hated for it. Israel loved Joseph more than any of his other sons because he was the child of his old age. And he made him an elaborately embroidered coat. When his brothers realized that their father loved him more than them, they grew to hate him—they wouldn’t even speak to him.” Genesis 37:3-4

It was also evident that Joseph was favored (blessed) by God.

We see the evidence in his dreams at such a young age.  Joseph’s first dream indicated that his family’s bundles would bow down to him.  His brother’s hatred grew more.  His second dream revealed the sun and the moon and eleven stars bowed down to him.  Genesis 37:5-7,9.  This infuriated his brothers.  They hated him so much that they vowed to kill him.

I thought, “Well at least no one is trying to murder me…yet!”

And the realization that it’s impossible to please everyone began to move from my head to my heart.  I began to see how it would be foolish to even try get people to like me.  I had a choice to make.  Did I want God’s blessings or people’s approval?

[Tweet “I recognized that if I wanted God’s blessings I was going to need to get comfortable with being uncomfortable.”]

What you give your focus to is what you give your power to. Focus on Jesus, He’ll bless you in ways you’ve never dreamed possible.

It’s uncomfortable to know that those around you—especially those whose opinion you value—are struggling with anger or jealousy. But if you can recognize that THEY are the ones struggling, you can rest a little easier in those uncomfortable moments.

I’ll admit, I still struggle sometimes.  When I’m giving a talk to a group of ladies and there’s that one woman who looks like she is throwing daggers at me with her eyes, I get uncomfortable, but then I remind myself to move forward in what God has called me to do and I turn my focus to another smiling face. 

(Ok, so maybe I still like people liking me more than I should)

When you have the favor of God on your life, don’t expect that everyone will celebrate you.  

God’s favor may be a peace that others can’t understand, blessings you don’t deserve and an inexplicable joy.  In fact, you can expect that others will be jealous. The important thing to remember is that their upset is not your issue. The minute you make it your issue, you relinquish the favor.

Do what it takes to get ready for your blessings because God longs to bless His children. But also get ready for many people to hate you. If you stay concerned with what others think, you may miss out on the blessing.

If Want to Be Blessed, You’ve Got to Be OK With Being Hated

What you give your focus to is what you give your power to. Focus on Jesus, He’ll take you places you’ve never dreamed possible.

Kris Reece is passionate about helping women pick up the broken pieces of their lives and build something beautiful.  As a Christian Counselor, Christian Life Coach, Author and Speaker, Kris loves to empower and equip women to find and fulfill their God-given purpose. 

She lives with the love of her life (her husband Jean Paul) and their three children and three fur babies in New Jersey.

Now don’t forget to go over to visit Kris here, and follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest

Thank you so much for joining me today.

And a thank you to BibleGateway.com for sources.

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  1. I struggle with this myself as a people pleaser. Social media makes it easy to see supporters and non-supporters. I often think, “What an I doing wrong?” Or, “How have I offended _______?” But favor absolutely comes at a cost as you have pointed out. So I’ll continue to follow my leader…one step at a time. Love this ?

    1. Oh, Brittany, I can so relate to your words. I used to exhaust myself trying to keep everyone happy. Truth is at that point I was no good to anybody. I’m continuing to learn that God’s blessings of peace, contentment, joy, etc are so much better than the temporary satisfaction of someone’s fickle approval. You’re right . . . it’s a daily, step by step thing!

    2. Hi Brittany!

      Thank you for your feedback and your kind words.

      I love your comment… I’ll continue to follow my leader…just like we did as little girls.
      May God continue you to strengthen you to be the woman He’s created you to be.
      Many Blessings to you!R

  2. Hi, Kris!
    It’s so nice to meet you here at Deb’s place. Yes, I used to be a people-pleaser, and I could sure identify with what you wrote here today. It is so exhausting to try and be something for everyone, isn’t it? So glad the Lord finally pointed me in the right direction, to be the me He created me to be.

    1. Thanks for this, Martha! Being who He created me to be. That takes a focus my ADD nature forgets sometimes. Sure thankful the Lord is patient with me. I’ve been a slow learner but with His help, I will continue to journey on! Blessings!!!

    2. Hi there! So Nice to meet you too Martha,

      Thanks for sharing your heart. Many blessings to you as you continue to grow into the woman God created you to be….unique and highly valued!


  3. What a great post, Deb, and Kris!
    And, a hard word. I so like for people to like me back. I guess we all do. But, you are so right, we need to care more about what God things and continue to follow Him.
    Appreciate you both~

    1. Thanks, Melanie! I used to call it “the dance.” Trying to keep everyone entertained and happy. Whew, it’s exhausting. But I so craved their approval. Lessons learned the hard way, seem to be the ones that teach me best. I don’t like it, but wow do I learn. And His blessings are sooooo good! Love you, my friend!

  4. Hi Deb and Kris,
    I can relate very well to your encouraging post. I’ll be sharing.

    1. Thanks, Tracy! I so appreciate your visit and taking the time to say hello and leave a word of encouragement. God bless you!!

    2. Hi Deb,

      Great to connect with you. Thanks for sharing and your encouraging words.

      You’re a blessing!

  5. Gloria Snyder says:

    OMG !

    This is exactly what I am experiencing. I have given as well as helped even prayed for those in a difficult situation, family as well as friends. I reached out and tried to lend a hand, but to my surprise I experienced those uneasy feelings,felt alone, unappreciated, even unwanted. What a hurtful feeling when you know you did what you thought was best, and to be let empty inside. So every morning I begin to have a thankful ❤, grateful soul, humble spirit, because everything works out for those who believe. So don’t stop believing. Maybe it’s being a blessing to bless others.

  6. Hi Gloria,

    Thanks for your vulnerability. It’s hard sometimes even when we realize that we can’t please everyone to not cross over into anger or resentment. you’re doing the right thing. may you always keep your humble spirit.
    Our Father sure does work all things together for us! It’s a comforting place to rest in isn’t it?

    Many you continue to enjoy being blessed Gloria!

  7. Hi Deb! Thank you for featuring Kris’ sage wisdom and advice on overcoming people pleasing. I find that her perspective was unique and her words really touched my heart.

    1. I am so thankful for Kris’ advice here. It took me waaaay too long to get over my addiction to pleasing people. The problem is it’s impossible to please everyone, not to mention exhausting. So thankful for His truth and patience! God bless you!

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