10 Terrific Tips for a Lasting and Happy Marriage

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It's been 45 years since we said, "I do." We've been blessed with not only lasting but with happy, too. I'm sharing 10 favorite tips for a happy marriage.

Tomorrow is the big day!

It’s been 45 years since we said, “I do.” How did that happen?!

We’ve been blessed . . . not only with lasting but with happy too. Sure, there have been hard circumstances and things that tried to defeat us but by God’s grace, we’ve enjoyed love, laughter, and joy in being together. There is still no one with whom I would rather spend my time.

So, if you’d like to know how we do it, here are our top ten tips to keep your marriage happy while it lasts.

10 Terrific Tips for a Lasting and Happy Marriage


We love to laugh and we love to make each other laugh. Humor has gotten us through many of life’s difficult moments. 

“Laughter is the closest thing to the grace of God.” ~Karl Barth

It's been 45 years since we said, "I do." We've been blessed with not only lasting but with happy, too. I'm sharing 10 favorite tips for a happy marriage.


This is my favorite advice for newlyweds. – Never stop flirting with each other. (Only with each other.) Remember how you playfully worked to win each other’s affection in the beginning of your relationship? Don’t stop. Ever. It’s a powerful way to show how much you care. 

I belong to my love, and he belongs to me. Song of Solomon 6:3


Put a hedge of protection around your marriage. Don’t put yourself in any situations where you will be tempted to betray your marriage emotionally or physically.

“Make it your goal to create a marriage that feels like the safest place on earth.” Gary Smalley

Be Kind and Encouraging

Treat your spouse like you would treat your best friend. It’s the best way to keep him/her your best friend.

“A friend is one that knows you as you are, understands where you have been, accepts what you have become, and still, gently allows you to grow.” ~William Shakespeare

Be Appreciative 

Say “please” and especially, say “thank you.” Those two little words can get a lot more cooperation in a relationship than all the nagging in the world.

“The deepest craving of human nature is the need to be appreciated.” ~William James

Listen First

I am a talker. It’s not easy for me to simply sit and listen without planning what I am going to say next, but it is essential. Listening is hearing to understand not just to respond. 

“Listening is an attitude of the heart, a genuine desire to be with another which both attracts and heals.” ~J. Isham.


Winning is not the goal. It’s hard when you’re disagreeing to find answers and solutions but compromise, not conquest, your goal. Remember you are on the same team. If emotions are high and you can’t talk things over calmly . . . agree to disagree for the moment and try again later. 

“Compromise is what binds people together. Compromise is sharing and conciliatory, it is loving and kind and unselfish.” ~Ali Harris

It's been 45 years since we said, "I do." We've been blessed with not only lasting but with happy, too. I'm sharing 10 favorite tips for a happy marriage.

Keep Problems Private 

Never air your problems in public. Not even to your girlfriends. It is so tempting, but once it’s out there you have no control over where it goes! 

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. Ephesians 4:29

Pray Together 

It will strengthen your relationship with each other and with the Lord. When you’ve run out of answers and you don’t know where to turn, when life is wonderful and you’re full of gratitude, when…

Prayer is surrender that draws us closer to God and to each other.

Devote yourselves to prayer with an alert mind and a thankful heart. Colossians 4:2


There is always something to celebrate. You’re together. You’re alive. So, make your favorite dinner or put the kids to bed and have a popcorn and movie night. Whatever you do . . . count your blessings and celebrate.

“Run, leap and celebrate for you are alive today!” ~Bryant McGill

Did I miss anything?

What are your tips for a lasting and happy marriage?

I asked some of my friends to share their best marriage advice last month. You can check that our here.

My prayer for you is a marriage that is lasting and happy – because when you’re counting your blessings that one is huge! 

Thank you so much for joining me today.

And a thank you to BibleGateway.com for sources.

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16 thoughts on “10 Terrific Tips for a Lasting and Happy Marriage

  1. You can always tell when a post has been written from the trenches of real life. Thanks, Deb, for this offering of help and hope. With Christian marriages dissolving at about the same rate as the general population, we need to take this seriously.

  2. Such wonderful tips for a happy marriage, Deb! I found myself drawn to the “flirting” idea – I think Danny and I could do a bit more of that!
    Again, Happy and Blessed Anniversary to you both!

  3. Great list,, Deb. I especially like the one about keeping our problems private–even from girlfriends. I’ve been in many a prayer circle that was used as sounding-board time for dumping negative about husbands. Certainly we want to pray … but women need to know the boundaries of our private lives … Also, I really get the listening one. More and more these days, my man needs to talk. It takes purposed focus to give him what he needs. He does it for me all the time.

  4. HI Deb!

    Congrats on 45 years to you and your husband! I haven’t linked up in a while, and I’m glad to be back. The one thing I remembered about your blog is the wisdom you share. “How to love your children well” is one blog post I’ll never forget and I think about it often. I look forward to reading what wisdom you’ve shared today on marriage, and I look forward to getting there myself in 22 more years. Woo-hoo!

    Blessings to you!

  5. Congratulations on 45 years! I hope you have a wonderful celebration. Thank you also for sharing your wisdom. The tips are great, and I see a few I need to incorporate asap. I need to laugh more with my husband.

  6. You are so on target with this list and your comments!! Love it! As someone married 52 years, I offer a hearty “AMEN”!! (So glad you didn’t forget to put in the part about flirting!!)

  7. So much wisdom… So much truth. 🙂 Even after 24 years of marriage I still have so much to learn. You would think that this was a ‘no-brainer’ and wouldn’t have to be intentional, but in the busy-ness of life, sometimes we forget to purposely say, ‘I love you’. It took some nudging from God for me to see how much that would change the posture of my husband before he walked out the door. And those three little words, along with Thank you and Please are so significant, aren’t they.

    Thanks for reminding us how to build grace into our marriages.

  8. Lasting and HAPPY are important. A lot of people have been married a long time and that’s about it. They are not happy. Glad you are.

    May God continue to richly bless your union and may your marriage continue to honor and bring glory to his name.

  9. I’m glad you added flirt (with each other) to the list. It’s refreshing to see it since some act as if its a no-no.


  10. Blessed Anniversary, Deb and to your husband! God given joyful 45 years. My triplets will turn 3 tomorrow. Thank you for the words of wisdom for a happy and lasting marriage on Earth. Terrific tips indeed


  11. Happy Anniversary Deb! What a huge blessing!
    Your tips were great, definitely going to pay attention to your advice because I want a long-lasting marriage!
    Blessings friend!

  12. I hope you are celebrating it up in style this weekend. So many good words in your top 10 of marriage advice. Laugh – yep … does a heart and marriage good… oh and compromise, oh boy that one has saved us greatly over the years. Thanks for sharing these 10 words and quotes too. they are all so good and important. Also, thank you for hosting today

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