How to Strengthen and Improve Your Child’s Character

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“You can learn many things from children.
How much patience you have, for instance.”
~Franklin P. Jones

7 tips will help you mold your child's character and help them grow with grace. #BlessingBloggers #CountingMyBlessings

Don’t you wish every child came with an instruction manual?

Parenting is hard.

Some days you feel like an expert, and the next you’re quite sure you’re a complete failure.

You just want your children to grow into people who are aware of their strengths and weaknesses. Who maximize their strengths and refuse to excuse their weaknesses. Who are kind, caring, honest, capable, and God-honoring. You care about your child’s character! That’s all.

And you wonder why you’re exhausted?

The first thing you must know is I’m not an expert. Not even close. Like you, I’m a mom on a journey . . . we’re just doing our best, loving our kids, and praying God’s best for them.

 How to Strengthen and Improve Your’ Child’s Character

1. Know your personal strengths and weaknesses.

Maximize your strengths and allow God to help you strengthen your weaknesses.

Read – 8 Steps to Strength Your Character

2. Help your child know their strengths and weaknesses.

Talk about them. Start when they are young and make it part of your natural everyday conversation.

Name of Character Strength Description 
Appreciation Noticing and appreciating beauty, excellence or skilled performance in all aspects of life
Bravery Not shrinking from threat, challenge or difficulty
Caution Not saying or doing things that might later be regretted
Creativity Thinking of new and productive ways to do things
Curiosity Taking an interest in experiences
Enthusiasm Approaching life with excitement and energy
Fairness Treating all people the same according to a sense of equality and justice
Forgiveness Forgiving those who have done wrong
Gratitude Being aware of and thankful for good things that happen
Honesty Speaking the truth and being genuine
Hope/Optimism Expecting the best and working to achieve it
Humour Liking to laugh and joke and bring smiles to other people
Kindness Doing favours and good deeds for others
Leadership Organising group activities and making sure they happen
Love Valuing close relationships with others
Love of learning Mastering new skills, topics and knowledge
Modesty Letting your accomplishments speak for themselves
Open-mindedness Thinking things through and examining them from all sides
Perseverance Finishing what you start
Perspective Being able to provide wise advice to others
Self-control Controlling what you say and do
Sociability Being aware of the motives and feelings of yourself and others
Spirituality Believing in the higher purpose and meaning of life
Teamwork Working well as a member of a group or team

Park, N. & Peterson, C. (2009). Character Strengths: Research and Practice. Journal of College & Character, X(4). Fox Eades, J.M. (2008). Celebrating Strengths: Building Strengths-based Schools. UK: CAPP Press. (Link)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 tips will help you mold your child's character and help them grow with grace. #BlessingBloggers #CountingMyBlessings

3. Model the qualities you want in your children.

Children watch more than they listen. If they see you manipulate the truth, whine, quit, or fail to forgive, it won’t matter what you say . . . they will think those behaviors are acceptable.

“Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you.”  ~H. Jackson Brown

4. Ask your children for forgiveness. 

You’re not perfect. You’re going to make mistakes and at times set a poor example. Don’t be afraid to talk about it and ask for their forgiveness. When you’ve failed to model good character qualities, say so … and ask for forgiveness.

Be willing to say, “I was wrong to _____________. It’s not wise to act like that. I’ve asked God for forgiveness, and I’m hoping you will forgive me too.

5. Forgive your children’s failures.

Let them see you forgive others, and teach them to forgive. It is one of the best gifts you can give them.

Oh, what joy for those whose disobedience is forgiven, whose sins are put out of sight. Romans 4:7

7 tips will help you mold your child's character and help them grow with grace. #BlessingBloggers #CountingMyBlessings

6. Give your child opportunities to make age-appropriate decisions.

Character values, like muscles, grow as we use them. Encourage your children to flex their muscles, learn from their mistakes, and grow.

“Tell me and I forget, teach me and I may remember, involve me and I learn.” ~Benjamin Franklin

7. Pray without ceasing.

Hold them up before the King of kings faithfully. Turn worry into prayer asking God to show them His plans and purposes . . . and use them for His glory.

“From the world’s perspective, there are many places you can go to find comfort. But there is only one place you will find a hand to catch your tears and a heart to listen to your every longing. True peace comes only from God.” ~Charles Stanley

 Finally, do your best and give yourself grace.

There are no perfect parents just as there are no perfect children. We are all simply doing our best. So, love them big and point them to the truth of God’s Word and pray like crazy.

The rest is in God’s hands. Trust His love for them and for you.

 “Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person’s character lies in their own hands.” ~Anne Frank

What is the best parenting advice you’ve ever received?

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13 thoughts on “How to Strengthen and Improve Your Child’s Character

    1. Thank you Martha! You are so faithful to begin my work day with encouragement. How exciting to have to little granddaughters. We have grandsons . . . still so much fun, even without the curls and bows. 🙂

  1. Love the practical wisdom here. We follow many of these things (most of the time, of course). 🙂 I’m not sure the best parenting advice I’ve received, but I definitely try to allow the kids to make safe mistakes instead of swooping in to save them so that hopefully they’ll have the chance to learn and grow. Failure, in the appropriate measure, can be such a great teacher; and if parents are there to help kids decipher, it’s all the better. Thought-provoking stuff, Deb. Thank you!

    1. Thanks Jason! Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could get the parenting thing right all the time? 🙂 It’s an adventure for sure. I agree with you, it’s important to allow our children to make safe mistakes. It’s the best way to learn learn hard lessons, although I do think it’s almost as hard on the parents as it is the children when it happens.

  2. Oh how I wish they came with an instruction manual! I prayed that often going through my daughter’s teen years. These are great tips on an incredibly important topic. I think #4 is huge. When I was growing up, my parents told me what to do which was always the opposite of what they did. I have tried to be very intentional in that area with my kids.

    1. Thanks for visiting Candace! They are always watching aren’t they? Now we’re remembering that with our grandsons. It’s funny to hear them say things their parent’s have said, or little mannerisms they pick up. Grandpa and I just don’t want to be models of things we don’t want to see in them. Blessings to you!

  3. I am happy with your post, thank you Deb. Sometimes I feel discouraged because I only grumble and seed negative things in my daughter (her hyperactivity and impulsivity.) Now, after reading your blog, I focus my attention on hopeful things and I think I can use it in everyday life. I translated your blog in Dutch and it is helping me. Yes, I do my best and give myself grace 🙂

    1. Thank you so much for your encouragement Jedidja! You blessed me more than you know! I’m praying the Lord fills your life with countless blessings!

  4. Deb this is such a helpful list. So many parents have high standards for their children, but care nothing about teaching by example. I see this over and over in the lives of the children I minister to.

  5. Forgiveness and giving children opportunities is so important. They need to be able try this before they become adults. We make decisions everyday and so do our children.

    1. Betty, I love your Twitter handle. Perfect! And yes, giving our children opportunities to make decisions, forgiving them, and allowing them to deal with the consequences are all important ways the grow stronger character. Blessings!

  6. Boy did I wish for a set of instruction, I think for the most part we raise our kids by the seat of our pants, in so many situations but believe they should be given a chance to try new things with encouragement, and if they fail, thats ok, a good lesson for them is its ok, but to keep trying. Thanks for sharing on Oh My Heartsie Girl, Im sorry it has taken so long to get here. I went out of town then came home and have been in bed sick and hoping to kick this soon. Thanks for stopping by!!

  7. I LOVE this, Deb! These tips are tangible and a great way to wrap my head around parenting in those oh so tricky moments. I was just thinking tonight about changing some aspects of my parenting and I will take these to heart. God bless and thanks for sharing with the Saturday Soiree Blog Party!

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