25 of the Best Ways to Love Yourself God’s Way

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Culture tells us that it's important to love yourself but self-love can be healthy or it can be destructive. God's Word can help. There are many truths about how God wants us to love ourselves.

I don’t know about you, but I struggle with the idea of self-love. If you Google “love yourself” you’ll find a plethora of thoughts on the subject . . . some good, some not.

So I went to the Bible and searched for “love yourself” there, and…

10 places in the Bible it says, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.”

But what does “love yourself” mean exactly based on God’s Word?

What if self-love is supposed to look child-like?

And Jesus said: Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 18:3

You don’t have to tell little children to love themselves. They are comfortable in their own skin. They know when they’re hungry, tired, and when they need comfort and nurturing.

And little children are humble, sincere, trusting, and dependent.

That’s counterintuitive isn’t it?

You and I don’t tend to think of self-love as humble, sincere, trusting, or dependent.

What if self-love is supposed to start with humility?

Warren Wiersbe defines true humility as:

  1. Knowing yourself.
  2. Accepting yourself.
  3. Being yourself.

He adds . . . “Humility begins with self-examination and continues with self-denial.”

Self-examination and self-denial—again not what we think of when we think of self-love.

But what if…

Humility is exactly the way God wants you to love yourself.

Because humble self-love is best able to love others.

Take a closer look at Wiersbe’s definition of true humility.

  1. Knowing yourself means getting to know your personality, your values, your gifts and abilities, and your hopes and dreams . . . the you God created.
  2. Accepting yourself comes from having and keeping a vertical perspective. Fixing your eyes on Jesus. NOT COMPARING yourself to others.
  3. Being yourself means living obediently as the one of a kind, God designed person you are. Being yourself means allowing God to use you to fulfill His plans and purposes. It is allowing Him to use you to love others in ways only you are able.
Culture tells us that it's important to love yourself but self-love can be healthy or it can be destructive. God's Word can help. There are many truths about how God wants us to love ourselves.

I’m not very good at “loving myself” when it comes to giving myself regular “atta girl” pats on the back. I’m not great at self-pampering and I’m definitely not good at getting all warm and fuzzy when I look in the mirror.

But maybe that’s okay. Maybe that’s not what Jesus meant when He said, “Love yourself.”

Maybe it’s getting to know the unique person God created … personality, values, gifts and abilities and using our uniqueness to love others in ways only we can.

I stopped to Know Myself:

  1. Personality – I’m a Phlegmatic/Sanguine which means I just want everyone to get along and have fun doing it.
  2. Values – My core values are grounded in my love for Jesus. Values that make me want to follow Jesus’ example of loving God and others.
  3. Gifts and Abilities – I’m a student who loves to teach. I have the gift of gab and I’m getting better at the gift of listening. And I love writing. If you’ve never read my About Deb Page you’ll learn more about me than you care to know.
  4. Hopes and Dreams – My greatest desire is to stay focused on eternal things – loving and obeying God and loving well the people He puts around me. (I probably would have answered something about my kids 20 years ago. So, don’t put too much holiness on this. I’m at my stage of life. You’re at yours.)

For the most part, I know the girl God created.

Accept Myself:

I’m definitely a work in progress when it comes to the accepting part, but I’m confident if I stay focused on Jesus and stop comparing myself to others, He will help me accept that He created me this way for a reason. And remember that He loves the person He made.

Be Myself:

As far as being myself . . . I think I’m okay there. Honestly, if I can’t be myself in my sixties when in the world will I start.

So, what is loving yourself God’s way?

Here’s what I think.

It’s child-like knowledge and acceptance of the unique person God created me to be and using what He’s given me to love others.

Here are some ways to live that out each day…

25 Ways to Love Yourself God’s Way

  1. Remember you are valued and precious to God.
  2. Know, accept, and be yourself.
  3. Forgive yourself like God forgives you.
  4. Treat yourself with care and compassion.
  5. Care for your physical needs . . . diet, move and rest.
  6. Refuse to waste time on stinkin’ thinkin’.
  7. Ask for help when you need it.
  8. Sing, dance, and laugh more.
  9. Refuse to speak unkind words to yourself.
  10. Say ‘no’ when you need to.
  11. Do something you were created to do every day.
  12. Pursue your hopes and dreams.
  13. Be honest with yourself and others.
  14. Pray – ask God to help you know your strengths.
  15. Pray – ask God to show you your weaknesses.
  16. Pray – ask God for His guidance and help. 
  17. Stop and give thanks for your life every day.
  18. Spend time with people you love.
  19. Accept what you can’t change.
  20. Forgive others. 
  21. Be bold and try something new.
  22. Believe God has a plan and purpose for you.
  23. Live engaged in every moment.
  24. Be patient with yourself.
  25. Be still – know and love God.

What do you think? Are you ready to love yourself God’s way?

I’ve made a free download of the 22 Ways. You’re welcome to print a copy and keep it handy for a daily reminder. You might even want to print a copy for your kids. (Just click on the graphic for the printable version.)

25 Ways to Love Yourself God's Way -Culture tells us that it's important to love yourself but self-love can be healthy or it can be destructive. God's Word can help. There are many truths about how God wants us to love ourselves.

Remember, loving yourself God’s way equips you to love others His way too.

Blessings to you my loved friends!

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37 Comments

    1. Thank you Ifeoma! I loved your post at Premium Times. Great tips for all couples!

      1. Nakiguli christine says:

        Hi am Nakiguli Christine from Uganda am blessed today thanks very much for that sermon my pray request is Iwant to take my husband to my DADDy and he see him about money!!!!

        1. Thank you, Christine. I’m praying for you!

  1. These are such wise words! Thank you for the printable, I printed them out!

    1. Your welcome, Valerie! I’m glad it blessed you!

  2. What a great post, Deb!
    I’ve shared it like crazy today!
    And, I’m going to print the printable and put it on the frig!
    Hope you have a blessed Monday~
    Melanie

    1. Thank you so much, dear friend! Once again you’ve blessed my day!!

  3. Printed two copies, Deb, one for me and one for my daughter. I will make reading through these daily as a Lenten habit, and I know my daughter, with three young ones in the house, needs to be reassured about just how much God loves her.
    Blessings and thank you!!!

    1. Oh, thank you so much, Martha! I’m so glad this blessed you! Blessings and hugs!

  4. IMHO loving myself cannot be all bad. It can be taken to extremes and has. But when Jesus says to “love your neighbor as you love yourself” there has to be some value to it. Like many things it can be taken to extremes.

    1. I hope I didn’t give you the impression that I don’t think we should love ourselves. I’ve never met a child that didn’t. And I agree, Jesus said we should love others as we love ourselves. I just think the best self-love comes from a perspective of who I am in light of who God is. It’s so much easier to love myself well when I remember how very loved I am. Blessings to you!

      1. Didn’t think it at all Deb. I know loving ourselves is a touchy subject with some. Self-loathing seems to be more of what we gravitate toward or overly loving ourselves. I thought your post was spot on.

        1. I’m glad, Bill. You’re right, it is a touchy subject. Especially in the Christian community where it should be just the opposite. I guess we’ll never understand love perfectly this side of heaven . . . self-love or any other kind. I’m just so thankful that God’s grace covers it all. Thanks so much for joining the conversation. I love getting your input. Have a great blessing filled day!

  5. Isabelle Petit says:

    Awesome post my sister! Thank you for sharing, I wrote down your list for those days when my self esteem is not too good. Be blessed and may God bless your ministry in the name of Jesus!

  6. Deb, sharing this! It’s such a great reminder that if we can “forget” ourselves and let God take care of our needs, we end up doing the right things for ourselves anyway.

  7. Deb, I love how prayer is on there several times on your list of loving yourself God’s way. It’s such an important aspect of our relationship with God. Thankful for the encouragement I found here this afternoon. Be blessed!

  8. Amazing!
    I love this and definitely going to share. I love how you broke it down for a clearer understanding. Great post!
    Blessings.

    1. Thank you, Mallory! Your kindness made my day!!

  9. Mihaela Echols says:

    This is beautiful.

  10. Karen Grosz says:

    Deb, what a beautiful way to think about love yourself. As a health coach I talk a lot about self-care, your 25 Way to Love Yourself God’s Way is a great thing to think about and use to continue to learn to love yourself. I will be sharing this post in my Savvy Circle facebook group. Those women need to read this.

  11. HI Deb! What a practical list! An insighttful post! This is a subject we Christians would be wise to explore. THANKS for the courage you show in bringing up and exploring what the Bible teaches in a fresh loving way. I pinned this!

  12. Rebecca McDermott says:

    My dear sister I have a question what do you do when your trying to make Tim for God and when you’re praying someone comes in and starts talking to you and won’t stop and they get very upset when you point out to them you are or were in pray and they interrupted you and they get huffy how do you deal with this.

  13. Thank you Deb for the wonderful article it has been of great help to me.

    God Bless

    Charlene

  14. What I an encouraging and great blog post. These questions to self seem so basic but are really considerate at any age. Thank you so much for sharing. I can’t wait to share with my students and relatives.

    1. Oh, thank you, Lauren! I so appreciate your kind encouragement! Many blessings to you, your students, and family!

  15. So good! Thank you for that list. I think I need to spend some time just working through it. 🙂 And I love that you know The Personalities! I grew up with them & became a Certified Personality Trainer in 2007. I LOVE it!! 🙂

  16. I really enjoyed your article. I feel like God put it in front of me today bc I needed it! thanks!!!

  17. Haiiii.l tooo love writing and this is quite inspirational because i5 often happens that I forget myself in the midst of others drowned in comparison and low self esteem

  18. Thank you for this wonderful reminder deb… right now im in the middle of fixing myself and trying love myself. And also i want to more about God and his words. Thank you.

    1. Welcome, Michelle! I’m so glad you visited and I’m asking God to bless you as you surrender your life to His love.

  19. Hello 🙂
    Id like to print your 25 ways to love yourself and give them to some girls in a class that I going to go to! Is it okay if I print them?

    1. Absolutely, Ivanna! I just that you give credit and add a link to the blog! Thanks so much! I appreciate your kind encouragement. God bless you!

  20. We can spend too much time looking for ourselves. But everything is simple, everything is on the surface. The main thing is to hear yourself from the inside. To be able to listen to your soul and your heart. I am a person who lives on another continent. But I think the same way you do. Sorry, my English is bad, I have not been very successful in it.

    1. Hi Arthur, I actually think you did very well with the English. And I agree, God is working on our inside and it is there that He wants us to focus and love ourselves as He loves us. Blessings and thanks so much for visiting.

  21. Anonymous says:

    Hi Deb,

    I am currently in a relationship with a loving partner, who I can honestly say is a perfect partner for me. This is after a prior destructive relationship, and I am so blessed to find someone I can spend the rest of my life with.

    However, my partner is a product of their surroundings with a lifetime of being made to feel they are inadequate and I somehow need to convince them that they are not the bad person that they have been conditioned to think they are.

    They are religious and love children, so I hope your words will transport them back in time to remember their early childhood innocence, and begin the process of renewal.

    This is the start of my steps to assist my partner, so Thankyou for putting it in words that I think my partner will absorb.

    In addition to my daily efforts to provide positive reinforcement.

    God Bless, and Thankyou

    1. I’m so glad it blessed you! Thank you for taking the time to let me know. I’m praying for you both! God bless you!