Scars are Old Wounds that Need To Be Exposed

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Old wounds once healed leave scars that are a constant reminder of difficult days, but exposing our scars is often the very thing that helps another heal.

If you look closely at my hands you’ll see scratches, puppy nips, a few age spots, and some small scars. That’s what you’ll see. What you won’t see are the inner scars from lies, accusations, betrayal, and rejection. Those are the scars I usually keep hidden.

Why?

Because scar exposure is risky. Revealing our scars gives people the opportunity to judge whether or not we deserve them.

I often wonder why we’re so quick to judge each other. Why we feel the need to ask:

  • if a person with lung cancer was a smoker.
  • if the accident victim was texting.
  • if the rejected spouse was cold and unloving.
  • if __________ was _________.

Job’s friends were sure he “deserved” what happened to him. 

Listen! God is doubtless punishing you far less than you deserve! Job 11:6

He lost everything. But we want people to deserve the bad things that happen to them, because if they deserve them . . . then they can’t happen to us.

The truth is bad things happen. Some as a consequence of our bad decisions, others because of someone else’s bad choices, and others simply because we live in a fallen world where bad things happen.

Analyzing My Inner Scars

We worry about people judging our scars because—well because we judge theirs.

And if you’re like me, you’ve spent countless hours analyzing your scars. I’ve wondered what I should have said or done differently. Maybe I should have trusted less? Set more boundaries? Fewer boundaries? Defended myself more loudly? Should I have fought harder?

All the ‘should I’ or ‘what if’ questions haven’t changed anything. My scars are a fact. They’re evident and sometimes a little irritated, but they are no longer raw.

By God’s grace and the power of forgiveness they are scars. Just scars. Healed wounds.

They are a part of my past. Today is my present.

And in my present….

God is my Strength and my Portion forever.

Old wounds once healed leave scars that are a constant reminder of difficult days, but exposing our scars is often the very thing that helps another heal...

Several years ago, I chose Psalm 73:26 as my life verse:

My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever. 

I still have moments when I look around and realize my life isn’t what I dreamed or imagined. Some people missing. Some words left hanging. Some memories painful.

But by God’s grace, I can choose to be thankful for healed wounds. Scars.

I can choose happiness. I can celebrate bliss. I love bliss! 

Did you know the word bliss is a synonym for blessed?

We can choose happiness. You and I are able to give thanks for our scars, focus on our blessings, and enjoy bliss as we trust God’s mercy and grace. Celebrate His forgiveness and love.

So, I’m exposing my scars…

[Tweet “Because when we share the stories behind our scars we help each other heal.”]

Let’s resolve to make scar exposure less risky by refusing to judge each other. Let’s faithfully offer the same mercy, grace, forgiveness and love we’ve received through Jesus. Let’s embrace each other scars and all.

Sounds like bliss doesn’t it?

I’m sharing my scars so you can know you are safe here. So come with your scars and we’ll talk about the One who heals and blesses His wounded loves.

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11 Comments

  1. Yolanda DeLoach says:

    Deb, this is so beautiful and true. We do want to judge people who are suffering, but you’re so right in that we should be offering grace. Thank you for this post today!

  2. We all have scars, we have all been wounded in this journey of life, but we know Jesus heals them all. Thank you, Deb, for the always-needed reminder to not judge others, but simply love them.
    Blessings!

  3. We all have scars. We all have a past that we have moved on from, learned from, run from, or embraced depending on the situation.

  4. wow!! Love this. In my “community” — infertility, miscarriage, and neonatal loss, this is a HUGE issue. Both the mothers who suffer loss blaming themselves, and others making judgements (you must not have gotten enough folic acid, you are too old/young) .

    It has taken me a long time to work through the scar of my daughter’s death- and I will most likely never “get over it”, this side of Heaven. But what a comfort to know that even now, that scar is healed by the One who knows all of our shortcomings and sorrows.

    I always have hope that I offer the kind of love that you are speaking about here. Both to myself and to others.

    Thank you for inviting me into your space.

  5. Hi Deb! I just read that sharing our difficulties makes us true sharers in the Kingdom. Anyone can share the highlights. Maybe even brag. But it takes a true lover of God to share troubles, anxieties and sorrows.

    God loves the view on your hands. And the view in your heart too.
    Blessings,
    Ceil

  6. I have discovered a connection between transparency and judgment. Those who are honest about their “scars”–sharing what they learned and how God used it for their good and His glory–tend to be less judgmental. They recognize the grace they’ve received and are more apt to freely give it.

  7. Beautifully written and a great reminder about not being judgmental towards others. God has shown compassion and grace towards me and I need to be more compassionate and grace giving towards others. Thank you for sharing and for linking up at Frog’s Lilypad Thankful Thursdays.

  8. ~Karrilee~ says:

    Oh I love this Deb! I was just at a writer’s conference and one of the speakers (Romal Tune) said something like, “Don’t show people your wounds – show them your scars, with evidence of healing!” I loved that… we are called to be vulnerable and real -but often we need time to let the wounds heal fully and become scars –testimonies of grace… that we survived and we are still here! It’s then that they carry power to release hope and healing to others! So glad we are neighbors today!

  9. Dear Deb,
    I needed this today. I am feeling the weight of going,going,going and never enough pressing close. Psaml 73 is a much needed medicine for my heart, and my mind. Thank you!
    For what its worth your scars are beautiful to me.
    Love,
    Dawn

  10. Linda Stoll says:

    Hey Deb … dropping in from over at Kelly’s …

    And thanking Him for the scars He carries, even as I reflect on my own.

    Blessings to you …