5 of the Best Ways to Bless and Strengthen Your Family

Family - it's where we let our hair down and fail to be on our best behavior. We need help. This will help you live, love, and strengthen your family. #Family #Love #Blessed

“A family is a place where principles are hammered and honed on the anvil of everyday living.”
Charles Swindoll

If you and I are supposed to believe every happy photo we see on social media … almost all of our friends have perfect relationships with their parents, siblings, spouses, children, and grandchildren.

But…

If you read the prayer requests on the Blessing Counters Pray Page. you will quickly realize the number one thing driving people to God’s throne of grace is the need to have their closest relationships healed and restored.

Relationships are hard and it’s understandable, really…

We’re all uniquely created with different personalities, interests, likes, quirks, gifts, talents, wants, abilities, opinions, and flaws.

Besides all of those personal differences, there are countless social, economic, and environmental issues that put strains on our relationships. Not to mention a whole host of private and public concerns that impact our lives every day.

Some say there is a war being waged against the family. I don’t know, maybe it’s true.

Something I do know to be true … because relationships are hard, they require a lot of WORK!!

Which leaves us with a choice…

We can either fight for our relationships with those closest to us or we can give up, focus on the problems and just wait to see what happens.

If you’re ready to fight with all you’ve got … I’d like to share the 5 things I believe are most important when it comes to building strong family relationships that last.

5 of the Best Ways to Bless and Strengthen Your Family

1. Strengthen Your Family – Make Loving the Lord Your Greatest Family Priority

Jesus replied, “You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.This is the first and greatest commandment.”
Matthew 22:37–38

I almost made this one simply … Make the Lord Your Greatest Family priority. But it’s too easy to get caught up in the “doing” of faith and forget about loving the Lord.

We’re a ministry family. Seriously, we were at church all the time. And yes, we talked about the shoulds and shouldn’ts of faith and living for the Lord … the “doing of faith.”

I wish we had spent more time with our children simply LOVING Him … simply responding to His love. Less “doing” and more resting, trusting, seeking, relying, praying and praising.

You can find out more about what it looks like to love the Lord with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength – here.

2. Strengthen Your Family – Make Showing Love and Extending Forgiveness Non-negotiable.

A second is equally important: Love your neighbor as yourself.
Matthew 22:39

1 Corinthians 13 says love is…

Patient, kind, enduring, and hopeful!

It also says it’s not…

Boastful, envious, irritable, or rude.

Loving our neighbors like that is hard … loving the people who share the place where we let down our hair and reveal our ugly parts … that requires extra grace and forgiveness!

We call it EGR – Extra Grace Required.

And we all have days when extra grace is required, don’t we?

Yep, forgiveness is essential if we want strong family relationships.

Besides forgiveness … loving each other well includes honesty, respect, and kindness. Which is why it’s important to be thoughtful and patient, as well as being a good communicator (someone who chooses their words well, listens intentionally, and controls ugly and unpleasant emotions).

See why you and I need to make forgiveness non-negotiable?

Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.
Colossians 3:13–14

The verse before says…

lothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience.
Colossians 3:12

Maybe we should make a visual reminder to leave those important “clothing” items on when we walk through the door rather than hanging them with the jackets in the closet.

Whew! I need that reminder myself!

3. Strengthen Your Family – Make it Important to be Intentional and Present.

Being a strong family takes time . . . working and playing together.

But it’s hard to spend time without our tech distractions, isn’t it?

Last weekend, I heard one of the If:Gathering speakers say the following when asked how she balances family, ministry, business … you know, how she balances LIFE?

She answered by saying she tries to be intentionally present where she is.

When she’s at home with her children, she allows them to hide her phone so she can focus on her family. When she’s at the office she concentrates on the tasks and people there. When serving or traveling for ministry , she pours herself into ministry. (If you can remember who said this, please let me know in the comments. I’d like to give her credit.)

And I love that message! It’s simple!

Be present!

With so many things vying for our attention … I love the idea of simply being intentionally present wherever we are.

Jesus was the perfect example of intentionally being present and you and I are called to represent Him…

Whatever you do or say, do it as a representative of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.
Colossians 3:17

4. Strengthen Your Family – Make Prayer Powerful in Your Family.

They all met together and were constantly united in prayer.
Acts 1:14a

Looking back on the years our children were living at home, I wish we had been even more intentional about prayer.

Oh, we had several memorized prayers for mealtime and bedtime. We prayed over problems and big needs. We prayed in church and during devotions.

But if I had to do it again, I’d teach my children to take every little thing to the Lord in prayer.

We would praise Him in prayer. We’d confess, repent, and ask Him for forgiveness. We’d be more honest about our fears and surrender each day to His care and direction. We’d talk to Him about our needs and celebrate every little blessing of provision.

Here’s a list of things you can pray for and with your family…

Ten Things to Pray for Your Family

5. Strengthen Your Family – Make It Easy to Laugh and have Fun.

The other night, I was sitting in the living room looking at my iPad. It was our usual time to sit down and recap the day for an hour or so.

When Rev saw that I was distracted by my email and social media he grabbed his iPad and joined me.

After about 10 minutes, I realized … that this time typically spent in conversation and laughter was passing without any engagement at all. I set my iPad down and so did he.

I want to make it more important for me to laugh and make memories with my family than it is to check the latest posts on Facebook, Snapchat, and Instagram.

As I watch our daughter’s family … they play tons of board games. They encourage our grandson to tell jokes, riddles, and funny stories. They play catch. And they sing and dance around the house. They’re making memories!

I can’t remember ten percent of the things I read on social media but I will always remember the heart imprints left when I laugh and have fun with my family.

Maybe you’d call me old fashioned … in many ways I am.

But with so many of our family relationships being labeled as strained or broken, it may be time for us to intentionally do some of the things that at least give us a fighting chance.

It’s a simple list really…

Love God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength.
Love out loud and forgive each other always.
Be intentional and present wherever you are.
Pray about everything.
Laugh, have fun, and make happy memories ofte.

“Life is short, live it. Love is rare, grab it. Anger is bad, dump it. Fear is awful, face it. Memories are sweet, cherish them.”
~ Unknown

Don’t give up! You can strengthen your family.

Your family is worth fighting for!

And if you have broken or strained family relationships … don’t give up on them either.

Keep praying. Keep hoping. Keep loving!

Thank you so much for joining me today.
And a thank you to BibleGateway.com for sources.

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How to Let Go of the Past and Celebrate with Your Family

11 / 15 / 18

Everyone has at least one relative who makes holiday gatherings with the family less than Hallmark perfect.

Be honest, you had someone come to mind, didn’t you?

Families in the U.S. are preparing to gather next week to celebrate and remember the year’s blessings. Most of us will celebrate by eating too much and carrying on family traditions that have been passed down for generations.

This year, I’d like to invite you to try a new tradition.

Let go of the past and lead with love!

The truth is…

Like it or not, God gave you your family for a reason.

They are the people who filled the early chapters of your life story and good or bad, God can redeem your story and use it to help and bless others.

I get it, your brother-in-law is obnoxious and your aunt and uncle drive you up the wall. They bait you and you’re tired of going home with a bloody tongue from biting back all the things you’d like to say but don’t.

But there is something important we all need to remember.

Yep, me too!

Everyone, yes everyone . . . you, your siblings, parents, and your obnoxious aunt and uncle view the world through a lens of their own experiences and emotions. You may not agree with their perspective. You may not like it. Truthfully, it may even push your hot buttons … but you have not lived their life and can’t know all things that have happened to them that shape their thoughts and beliefs.

And they don’t know yours either.

So, the best way to let the past go and lead with love is to start with … GRACE

Grace is giving something that isn’t deserved.

Be honest, don’t you want your family to treat you with grace?

So, I turned to some of my favorite posts, quotes, and Scripture verses to help us get ready to let go of the past and lead with love as we gather with our families this year.

How to Let Go of the Past and Celebrate with Your Family

Begin the healing process by forgiving…

♥ “The way you help heal the world is you start with your own family.” ~Mother Teresa

Take your frustrations and all those painful memories to God and ask Him to help you forgive and let go of the past.

Remember…

♥ Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:12–13

Many of us go to family get-togethers burdened with a load of hurt-filled memories, offenses, and frustrations. Take them to God and ask Him to help you forgive and let go of the past.

And then be honest … you aren’t perfect. Your siblings and parents could probably make a list of ways you hurt them. We all need grace more often than we’d like to admit.

And if you’re still struggling … just think about how much better you’ll feel if you let go of your anger and bitterness. There is healing for everyone involved when we choose to forgive.

♥ “A man ought to live so that everybody knows he is a Christian… and most of all, his family ought to know.” ~ D.L. Moody

Don’t preach. Don’t be a know-it-all. Be humble and…

Ask God to give you an extra measure of Spiritual fruit – love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22–23)

Love them like Jesus!

♥ Give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ. Ephesians 5:20–21

Give thanks for everything? Everyone?

Yes! Even the difficult people in your family. God may be using them to grow your character.

And submit?

Wow, that doesn’t come easily, does it? Other translations of this verse use words like serve, yield, and respect.

Why? Because we love Jesus! Don’t worry about being “right;” decide to show the love of Jesus because you love Jesus.

♥ The same Jesus Who turned water into wine can transform your home, your life, your family, and your future. He is still in the miracle-working business, and His business is the business of transformation.~ Adrian Rogers

Keep praying for that miracle. God is still transforming hearts and minds. Even the person who seems to be beyond hope . . . don’t give up. Nothing is impossible, God is still transforming hearts every day!

♥ Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7

I like the Life Application Bible’s notes for these verses…

“God’s kind of love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations. It is impossible to have this love unless God helps us set aside our own natural desires so that we can love and not expect anything in return.”

It’s not easy. More than that . . . it’s hard! But with God’s help, we can love even when it’s hard!

♥Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2

A prayer before you celebrate with your family…

Father, please help me. I have family members I can’t wait to see next week and family members it’s hard to be around. We’ve said and done things in the past that have hurt feelings and caused separation.

By your grace, give me the strength to forgive and let it go. Help me to remember how much You have forgiven in me. Help me love like Jesus. Please cover me with Your peace and give me all I need to glorify You in my family.

Father, I have family members whose views on life seem so far from what I believe you want for us. Please guide our conversations. Help me listen with respect and speak with gentleness. Give me the words You want me to say and help me know when to be still.

I believe I can do “all things” through Christ Jesus who gives me strength. Please give me the strength to love my family well.

Thank you for the countless blessings You pour into my life. Thank you for my family! Amen.

This Week’s Friday Favorites

Highlights from the Week!

2 Steps to Gratitude – A Photo Challenge

by Rebecca Hastings
@ My Ink Dance

What is the MOST Costly Financial Mistake You Can Make?

by The Money Couple
for Beth Steffaniak
@ Messy Marriage

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Celebrate the Little Things and Bless Your Relationships

6 / 1 / 159 / 6 / 15

“Couples who are most committed, intimate, and satisfied in their relationship are those who appreciate each other’s achievements . . . the happiest husbands and wives were those who made the biggest deal out of good things that happened to them.” ~Ladies Home Journal

Do you agree?

Are you a celebrator of good things . . . no matter how big or small?

Some things to celebrate:

The last day of school/The first day of school
A finished project
We won the game or we didn’t win but we played great
A beautiful day
A good grade or simply an improved grade
A great meeting at work
A met goal or progress toward meeting a goal
First steps or giggles
A completed to do list
A day without arguing
Overcoming a struggle
Promotions or raises
_____________ (anything I missed)

The lesson here according to the article is: Making a fuss over the small, good things that happen every day can boost the health of your marriage (family).

Celebrations don’t have to be elaborate. In fact keeping them simple will encourage you to celebrate more often.

Simple Ways to Celebrate the Little Things

1. Eat in the dining room and use your good dishes.

2. Make the honoree’s favorite dessert.

3. Make a list of the 10 Top Things I Love About You or I Appreciate about You.

4. Allow the honoree to plan an at home evening – game night, dance party, or movie night.

5. Go out for burgers or ice cream.

6. Decorate the honoree’s bedroom door.

7. Go to the park, for a hike, a bike ride, or the playground.

8. Visit someplace new in your community.

9. Give flowers, balloons, or candy to the honoree.

10. Keep a photo journal of your celebrations.

Whatever you do, the point is – celebrate!

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Celebrate the Little Things Quotes

“You can achieve all the things you want to do, but it’s much better to do it with loved ones around you; family and friends, people that you care about that can help you on the way and can celebrate you, and you can enjoy the journey.” ~John Lasseter

“Be glad of life because it gives you the chance to love, to work, to play, and to look up at the stars.
– Henry Van Dyke

“Never get tired of doing little things for others. Sometimes, those little things occupy the biggest part of their hearts.” ~Unknown

“It is the greatest of all mistakes to do nothing because you can only do little – do what you can.” ~Sydney Smith

“Plant flowers in others’ gardens and your life becomes a bouquet!” ~Unknown

“Live today the way you want to be remembered tomorrow.” ~Dillon Burroughs

“There are exactly as many special occasions in life as we choose to celebrate.” ~Robert Brault

Remember—noticing and celebrating the little things will help your heart and mind even when the big things are a mess. Counting every small blessing is gratitude and gratitude will change your day as it changes your perspective.

So, find a reason, any reason, to spin in a circle and wave your hands above your head! Shout “Glory!” Do the a happy dance of praise. It feels great and it’s good for you . . . body, mind, and spirit.

Celebrate the Lord’s blessings . . . big ones and little ones!

My child, if your heart is wise, my own heart will rejoice! Everything in me will celebrate when you speak what is right. Proverbs 23:15-16

What do you do to celebrate the little things?

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