Home – the place you can let relax and be yourself.

And because everyone is relaxed and just being themselves.

Home is also the place where you need the most patience.

Seriously . . . no one can try your patience like the people you live with.

Isn’t it interesting that patience and kindness are the first words Paul used to explain love?

Love is patient and kind. 1 Corinthians 13:4

It doesn’t matter how much you love someone . . . living with them can and will test your patience at times.

So, you and I have to choose…

Will we give in and live irritated and annoyed?

or

Love well with patience and kindness?

How to Have Patience Where You Need it Most – at Home

1. Patience does not mean constantly stuffing frustration. But it will help you choose your battles with cautious wisdom. It will also help you focus on the present, not on everything that annoyed you the past two weeks or longer.

“If something doesn’t work exactly right, or maybe needs some special treatment, you don’t just throw it away. Everything can’t be fully operational all the time. Sometimes, we need to have the patience to give something the little nudge it needs.” ~Sarah Dessen

2. Patience means using your words—kindly. You know that old saying about disagreeing without being disagreeable. Yeah, that one! Talk about the thing that’s pushing your patience buttons but be kind. Don’t attack the person or their character. One of my favorite ways is to say, “I could really use your help with this…”

“Think of the patience God has had for you and let it resonate to others. If you want a more patient world, let patience be your motto” ~Steve Maraboli

When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Ephesians 4:29

3. Patience means knowing your triggers. I have less patience when I’m tired or don’t feel well. I used to have less patience with my children when I was getting ready for guests. I can also be short on patience when there are too many demands on my time.

If I’m prepared mentally, I plan better and have fewer things that annoy me.

“Try looking at your mind as a wayward puppy that you are trying to paper train. You don’t drop-kick a puppy into the neighbor’s yard every time it piddles on the floor. You just keep bringing it back to the newspaper.” ~Anne Lamott

4. Patience means there are no patience vacations. As much as I would love to give in to my bad moods and just be annoyed some days. Love is patient and that means I need to make patience a priority.

“Love is a commitment that demands that you deal with your lust, your greed, your pride, your power, your desire to control, your temper, your patience, and every area of temptation that the Bible clearly talks about. It demands the quality of commitment that Jesus demonstrates in His relationship to us.” ~Ravi Zacharias

5. Patience means no expectation of perfection in yourself and others. It’s impossible to please all the people all the time and it’s impossible for all the people to please you. Even those you live with and love. We all need grace.

“Patience gives your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time that they deserve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the rough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure.” ~Stephen Kendrick (The Love Dare)

Patience at Home Means Full Buckets

One of my favorite ways to have patience at home is to keep everyone’s bucket full.

Check out How Full is Your Bucket, by Tom Rath and Donald O. Clifton. It is available in both an adult and child version.

“Everyone has an invisible bucket. We are at our best when our buckets are overflowing—and at our worst when they are empty. Everyone also has an invisible dipper. In each interaction, we can use our dipper either to fill or to dip from others’ buckets. Whenever we choose to fill others’ buckets, we in turn, fill our own.”

“The magic ratio: 5 positive interactions for every 1 negative interaction”

Our grandson has started asking his mommy and daddy if he’s filled their buckets each day after his teacher read the book to his pre-school class.

I love it!

Patience is easier when you and I are focused on filling each other up with words of love and encouragement, and not emptying each other with complaints and criticism.

And the best part, filling buckets fills us.

Want to be happier, more content and loved. Pour it out. Fill those buckets and watch them overflow into yours.

You already have everything you need to start filling because God is in the business of filling you. You’re only in the business of offering what is flowing through you.

You can be…

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2

because…

God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

Go ahead. Be yourself. Your overflowing bucket-filling love giving patient self . . . even at home!

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