Jesus is the One Who Can Unite People in a Call Out World

Is it okay to call out all the people with whom we disagree? What about other Christians? I've challenged myself to find out what the Bible says. #BibleStudy #ChristianCommunity #SocialMedia #CountingMyBlessings

Eight years ago, I spent the months of June and July updating my passport, getting the required vaccines, and trying to figure out what in the world I should pack. Each day spent getting ready to travel to Bolivia as a member of the World Vision Bolivia Bloggers Team.

I was considerably older than the rest of the team’s members and I definitely had the smallest platform … I’m still in awe of the ways God worked to graciously allow me to go on this life-changing trip.

If you’re curious about the trip itself … you can learn more here.

The trip itself is not the reason for this post.

You see, the reason I’m writing this is … I met Rachel Held Evans that week.

I chose not to speak out while she was ill and following her death. But recently, I’ve felt the Lord’s nudge to share some thoughts with you.

Not as much thoughts about Rachel as thoughts about the rest of us.

You see, I struggle with being judgmental. There is something self-righteously satisfying about stopping to call out the people we deem”false teachers.” The people we believe are doing or say “it” wrong. Whatever we decide “it” is.

Honestly, I caught myself being guilty again just the other day.

So, I’m definitely not here to preach at you. Like you, I’m on a journey of faith … honestly sharing the things the Lord lays on my heart. They are things I need to hear and so I wonder if you might need them too.

Back to Bolivia and meeting Rachel…

Rachel and the others in the group were the ages of my children. Their life experiences differed from mine in almost every way. Although, I probably shared my thoughts with them more than I’d like to admit … I hope I asked lots of questions and listened intentionally because several of their ideas were new to me and I wanted to know more.

Rachel was in the middle of writing her book – A Year of Biblical Womanhood.

The following is the first paragraph of the book’s synopsis on Amazon.

Strong-willed and independent, Rachel Held Evans couldn’t sew a button on a blouse before she embarked on a radical life experiment—a year of biblical womanhood. Intrigued by the traditionalist resurgence that led many of her friends to abandon their careers to assume traditional gender roles in the home, Evans decides to try it for herself, vowing to take all of the Bible’s instructions for women as literally as possible for a year.

I smiled as I read those words because I don’t remember Rachel, as being strong-willed, although I’ll admit I only spent a week with her.

What I do remember about her is her smile and willingness to laugh, her kindness, and her passion for the children and families we were visiting and her heart for the ministry of World Vision.

Did I agree with everything that was said that week? No.

But I cared for and about everyone on the trip … including Rachel. When I heard she was ill, I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would heal her. And it broke my heart to learn she had died.

There was something else that broke my heart…

People using that heart-breaking time to say cruel and hateful things about her on social media because they disagreed with what she wrote.

Jesus is the One Who Can Unite People in a Call Out World

So, why am I writing about this now weeks later?

Last week, the Lord tapped me on the shoulder as I was read the following in Jonah and 1 John…

Jonah didn’t want to go to Nineveh.

Why? Because Jonah hated the Assyrians and believed they deserved God’s judgment. Jonah had judged them and believed they deserved whatever God’s punishment.

So, when God asked him to go and “deliver the message” … Jonah took off in the opposite direction.

Which is how he found himself in the belly of a big fish.

God graciously and mercifully turned him around and gave him a second opportunity to obey. Which he did.

Jonah went to Nineveh and gave them God’s message:

“Forty days from now Nineveh will be destroyed!”
Jonah 3:4

And do you know what happened?

The people of Nineveh believed God’s message, and from the greatest to the least, they declared a fast and put on burlap to show their sorrow.
Jonah 3:5

But Jonah was not happy…

“Didn’t I say before I left home that You would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that You are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people.
Jonah 4:2

As I sat there pondering my own judgmental attitudes, I turned to my New Testament reading in 1 John 2:

Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment—to love one another—is the same message you heard before.
1 John 2:7

So, my heart was hearing … don’t judge people—love them!

I kept reading…

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is still living in darkness. Anyone who loves a fellow believer is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble.
1 John 2:9

The Life Application Bible Notes say:

John’s words focus on the attitude that causes us to ignore or despise others, to treat them as irritants, competitors, or enemies. Christian love is not a feeling but a choice. We can choose to be concerned with people’s well being and treat them with respect, whether or not we feel affection toward them.

And I would add, whether or not we agree with them.

The LAB Notes also say:

Love should be the unifying force and identifying mark of the Christian community. Love is the key to walking in the light.

Friends, you and I are representing Jesus to the world. Why would anyone want what we have … when we publicly ridicule, condemn, and call out those with whom we disagree.

When we don’t agree, you and I are called to speak the truth in love.

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of His body, the church.
Ephesians 4:15

Maybe we need to be more focused on love because too often we forget that part, choosing to speak the truth with a sledgehammer.

What if speaking the truth in love looked more like…

Worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way.
1 Peter 2:15b–16

What if we did a better job of humbly telling our own broken stories that share the transforming power of God’s love!

What if we just told people about Jesus, the One who not only knows the truth but who is the Truth and the Way and the Life.

You see, He’s the One who prayed..

Now I am departing from the world; they are staying in this world, but I am coming to you. Holy Father, You have given me Your name; now protect them by the power of Your name so that they will be united just as we are.
John 17:11

He prayed for us to be united by His love and I want to honor Jesus’ prayer.

So, I’m asking God to give me eyes to see everyone as a soul desperately in need of His love. I’m asking Him to make me gracious and merciful in the way I treat others. I’m asking Him to help me listen more and call out less.

Because…

I don’t want people to know the truth according to Deb. I want people to know Jesus and experience the power of His transforming love.

1 John 4:8 says:

God is love!

Overwhelming love! Love who never gives up … who mercifully and patiently seeks out people and transforms lives.

Love who can unite people in a broken and sinful world. Love who can heal hearts and relationships. Love who has promised us LIFE!

I want to care more about people and less about being right. I want to treat everyone with caring kindness and compassion. And I want to be silent when I’m tempted to call out.

I’m praying with the help of the Holy Spirit, I will do a better job of loving like Jesus.

Will you please pray with me?

Father, thank you for faithfully showing me Your grace, mercy, and love. Please, please forgive me for failing to extend the same grace, mercy, and love to others. Please help me realize that I don’t have to agree with someone to be respectful, caring, and compassionate. Help me to be a better example of Your love in my home, at work, at church, in my community, and online. Unite us, Father, by Your love. In the name of Jesus. By Your grace and for Your glory. Amen.

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Day 13 – God, Help Me Love Like Jesus Loved

12 / 4 / 1812 / 4 / 18

Jesus said the second “most important command” is to, “love your neighbor as You love yourself.” Matthew 22:39

I don’t know about you … not often, but occasionally, I can get to the end of the day and feel like I’ve loved “my people” pretty well.

But then there are those other days, those “not often” days.

And there are far too many of those days … when I don’t love “my people” well and I don’t even want to talk about the people who aren’t on my people “list.”

I want to do better. I need to do better! Maybe you do too.

Will you pray with me..?

God, Help Me Love Like Jesus Loved

Father, I need Your help.

Your Son, Jesus said:

So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. John 13:34

A commandment that falls right next to loving You with all my heart, mind, soul, and strength … is loving like Jesus loved.

Father, that means You want me to love…

Compassionately. Matthew 14:14
Sacrificially. John 15:13
With humility, patience, kindness, and forgiveness. Ephesians 4
Without favoritism or prejudice. James 2:8–9
Unconditionally. Colossians 3:14
Even my enemies. Matthew 5:44

I really want to love like Jesus because I know it’s what You want, what You command. People are just really hard to love sometimes.

I know, that doesn’t surprise You!

But then again, Your command doesn’t say I’m to love when it’s easy.

You commanded me to love like Jesus loved.

Please help me! Please make me more like Jesus.

Help me look beyond my “self” and see people as He saw them.

Jesus SAW the broken, sick, and hungry in need of healing and love. He looked beyond the surface into the person.

Jesus SAW…

The person who needed Him … a Redeemer, a Savior, a Shepherd, a King.
The person who needed … kindness, healing, help, freedom, and hope for the future.

Father, please help me look beyond the surface and not only see the need but help me see in every person I meet … someone who is dearly loved and precious to You.

Help me see Jesus in them and love as if I’m loving Him.

Jesus also said, “For I was hungry, and you fed me. I was thirsty, and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger, and you invited me into your home. I was naked, and you gave me clothing. I was sick, and you cared for me. I was in prison, and you visited me.” Matthew 25:35–36

And when asked how that’s possible, He replied…

“I tell you the truth when you did it to one of the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!” Matthew 25:40

That is loving like Jesus!

It’s seeing everyone as “the least of these.” For the truth is, we are all hungry, thirsty, and in need. We all need Your love.

So, by Your grace, may I surrender my “self” and look beyond the surface. May I serve others like I’m serving You.

Help me love like Jesus loved.

I ask this in His name. Amen.

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How to be a Better Listener When You Just Want to be Heard

10 / 8 / 18

Last week, I told you that I have opinions … lots of them.

I’m also a Sanguine talker.

Combine those facts you might assume that it’s taken me a long time and more than one bloody tongue to learn that I don’t need to share my views on everything with everyone. And you’d be right!

Something I’ve learned from my bloody tongue experiences is that as much as I feel the need to be heard and want to change the opinions of the people around me … my relationships benefit and I’ve actually learned a thing or two when I’ve shut up and listened!

At a time when more of us are talking than listening, I thought it might be helpful for me to honestly share my journey … because in all honesty, I didn’t get here easily!

6 Ways to be a Better Listener

♥ Listen without Assumptions

It’s so easy to assume that we know how someone thinks based on their skin color, gender, religion, or where they live. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Each person is uniquely and wonderfully made by God.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
Psalm 139:13–14

Each person is dearly loved by God and precious to Him.

You are a child of God, you are wonderfully made, dearly loved, and precious in His sight. Before God made you, He knew You. There is no one else like you. ~Unknown (based on Psalm 139 and Col. 3:12)

It takes time to get to know people individually but it’s important … really important.

♥ Listen without Judgment

Everyone you meet has a story and every story has its painful broken chapters.

I’ll admit, I’ve had more times than I care to admit when I was quick to judge people whose lives were a mess. Back when I was doing everything I could to be a “good girl” and “do life RIGHT,” I was quick to assume that life’s messes were caused by personal bad choices. Although that’s true sometimes … it’s not true always!

Boy, was I humbled when my mess was exposed to public view and I felt the scrutinizing judgment of others.

God allowed me to learn a huge lesson the hard way…

“You must be compassionate, just as your Father is compassionate. Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn others, or it will all come back against you. Forgive others, and you will be forgiven.” Luke 6:36–37

You and I can give the gift of listening with kindness and compassion. We can make it safe for people to share their stories of brokenness by showing them the love of Jesus.

♥ Listen to Understand

“Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply. The collective monologue is everyone is talking and no one is listening.” ~ Stephen Covey

Can you imagine the difference we could make if we really listened and asked questions to understand before we replied to people?

Everyone looks at life through a lens of their own personal perspective … a lens that takes years to shape and polish. They have well-developed long-standing reasons for their beliefs.

I want to do a better job of listening to understand by asking “why” and “please help me understand” questions. I want to keep conversations going and learn the reasons behind the beliefs and opinions people hold.

♥ Listen to Learn

I still have so very much to learn. In fact, the longer I live and the more I learn … the more I realize just how little KNOW.

Sure my wise mentors and teachers have taught me tons but I’ve also learned a lot by listening to hurting friends and the heartfelt stories of complete strangers.

God is at work in lives, friends! When you and I listen to each other with a desire to learn, we benefit from His work in every life.

Tell your story and encourage the people you meet to tell you theirs!

Listen to the words of the wise; apply your heart to my instruction. Proverbs 22:17

♥ Listen Respectfully

Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interest but take an interest in others, too. Philippians 2:3–4

Whew, we could go a long way in the respect department at the moment, couldn’t we?

Truthfully, those other people really need to do a better job of being respectful! (Sense my sarcasm?)

If you’re like me, it’s easy to point fingers and blame those who disagree with us. But aren’t we really just trying to get that speck out of the other guy’s eye before getting the log out of my own.

“How can you think of saying to your friend, ‘Let me help you get rid of that speck in your eye,’ when you can’t see past the log in your own eye?” Matthew 7:4

Respect begins with me and it starts at home. Help us, Lord!

♥ Listen Intentionally

I don’t know whether I have ADD or I’m just easily distracted, but it’s hard for me to sit in a restaurant and not have my eyes dart around the room like I’m watching bumble bees in a garden.

I love people watching. But because I want to listen intentionally to the people I’m with … I sit with my back to the activity so I can focus on the people with me.

I also sit near the front in church or any place I want to avoid distractions.

If you and I want to listen intentionally we need to avoid distractions, put down our devices, and look at each other! Then listen without interrupting. (Yeah, that one’s hard for me too.)

I want to be a better listener!

Friends, there are so many emotional subjects on the table right now. Feelings are frayed. And sides have been taken.

But I believe you and I can make a difference. Jesus showed us a better way.

He listened. Really listened to people.

At the end of the day, which will matter more…

That people know our opinions on the most recent political conversation or social issue or that they feel the love and compassion of Christ?

Will you and I ever do it perfectly this side of heaven?

No, probably not.

But I’m not willing to quit trying to be a better listener.

And believe me, I’m a work in progress. I’m still just trying…

The other day, we had a tech repairman visit because we were having problems with our cable box. As he asked me to try a variety of solutions, all of which I’d done earlier, my replies became more agitated and impatient.

Then I had one of those Holy Spirit moments of conviction. I had not listened well nor had I been respectful or compassionate.

But this time…

I caught myself and apologized. We ended up having a good conversation.

Now I need to work on my responses to the poor people who happen to pick up my phone call at the end of a long phone tree. Yep, like you, I’m still a work in progress.

And the truth is we’re all agitated, some say they’re even frightened. Everyone believes they know the truth and want to be heard.

This may just be the perfect time for you and me to make a difference by being a better listener even when we just want to be heard.

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There is Only One Way You Can Destroy Hate

8 / 14 / 178 / 14 / 17

As we entered into a time of confession and repentance in our worship service yesterday morning, our pastor encouraged each of us to repent of the sin of silence. He said that too many of us have been silent for too long when it comes to calling out hatred around the world, in our nation, and even in our own neighborhoods.

Guilty!

I bowed my head and asked God to forgive me.

You see, I don’t like negativity. And I HATE hatred. I want life to be sunshine and lollipops. I want everyone to just be nice and get along.

Yes, I’ve been accused of looking at life through rose-colored glasses.

I don’t know if that’s true. I see the ugliness and it upsets me but I try hard not to live focused on it because when I do . . . it frightens me.

So, as I sat there in prayer asking God to tell me what He wanted me to say about the hatred we saw played out in Charlottesville over the weekend and throughout the country in past months, this is what I heard Him whisper.

“Do not be afraid!”

Tell people not to be afraid.

Hate is said to be the opposite of love. Did you know fear is considered an opposite for love, too? And hate and fear are closely linked.

Hate can begin with a…

Fear of losing power.
Fear of being disrespected.
Fear of not being valued.
Fear for personal safety.
Fear of change.
Fear of differences.
Fear of subjugation.
Fear for survival.

When you and I are afraid, we want someone or something to blame. Someone or something to label the source of the problem.

And that’s what I see playing out across our nation.

People are afraid and because they’re afraid they’ve replaced listening and loving with labeling and blaming.

This has to stop. We must destroy hate.

Because a house divided is guaranteed to fall.

Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them: “Any kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and a house divided against itself will fall. Luke 11:17

We will destroy ourselves if we don’t destroy the hatred.

Friends, we have to stop taking sides. Liberal or conservative. Right or left. Traditional or progressive. We have to stop taking political sides and start standing up for the truth found in and through Jesus! When we shout political rhetoric from the rooftop we are allowing ourselves to be used as pawns of evil.

This is not about politics! It’s about people!

And inside, people all want the same things.

Love
Respect
Education
Opportunity
Safety
Freedom
Happiness
Security
Peace
Happiness

Inside we’re way more alike than we are different. So, why do we allow fear bring out so much ugliness in us?

What’s the answer?

There is Only One Way You Can Destroy Hate

Love

I know it’s obvious and maybe a little trite but bear with me.

Love is the only thing that will destroy hate. Not warm fuzzy feel good pie in the sky by and by love . . . but real get down and dirty help each other love.

Not love the feeling but the action. Love with hands and feet.

How do we do that?

We follow Jesus example!

1. Jesus spent time with people.

People who looked like Him and people who didn’t. Some were easy to love and some weren’t. It didn’t matter their skin color or position, their amount of wealth or their age . . . Jesus spent time with people.

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God. Ephesians 4:1–2

2. Jesus cared about people.

He did what He could . . . He fed them. Healed them. Forgave them. Taught them. Laughed and cried with them.

When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, He had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. So He began teaching them many things. Mark 6:34

3. Jesus served people.

If there ever lived someone who could have expected people to serve Him – it would have been the King of kings and Lord of lords and yet, He gave us an example of humility. Humble service patiently lifting up those in need . . . whether it is providing a meal, lending a hand or listening ear, financially supporting those in need, caring for orphans and widows, etc.

Serving is humble love in action.

“For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love.For the whole law can be summed up in this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Galatians 5:13–14

4. Jesus forgave people.

I know, it’s easy to say yeah but look at the past. Look at what they did. Remember how they acted.

I understand it’s tempting to want to make people pay for their past offenses. But friends, if God asked us to pay for our past offenses we’d all be doomed for eternity. Instead, God loved us so much…

“For this is how God loved the world: He gave His one and only Son, so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

But God shows His great love for us in this way: Christ died for us while we were still sinners. Romans 8:8

And…

This is real love—not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins. Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other. 1 John 4:10–11

The truth is . . . I can’t love like Jesus and I’m guessing you can’t either but that’s NO REASON NOT TO TRY!

It’s what we’ve been called to…

But if you suffer for doing good and endure it patiently, God is pleased with you. For God called you to do good, even if it means suffering, just as Christ suffered for you. He is your example, and you must follow in his steps. 1 Peter 2:20–21

So, I’m not going to be silent.

I will boldly say hatred of people is sin. So is violence, lying, manipulation, selfishness, gossip, envy, etc.

Jesus defeated sin, death, and evil with His love on the cross. Ans His love is the only way you and I can defeat the sin of hatred and all the ways it shows itself in our lives.

By His grace and with His help, we can do better at this loving thing especially when we remember it is the only thing able to destroy hate and defeat fear.

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Whatever It Takes Challenge

2 / 15 / 132 / 26 / 13

The last time Rev and I stayed at a Marriott Hotel there was a card on the nightstand which read:

“W.I.T. – Whatever it Takes. Simply dial ’10.’ Our goal is that every guest leaves satisfied.”

I think it’s a great goal for a business, but….

If every person, the operative word being every person, made it a goal to do whatever it takes to make their relationships mutually satisfying and blessed.

Think about it….

Every:

wife would faithfully show love and respect.
husband would consistently show love and understanding.
employee would work hard and do their best always.
employer would lead wisely, praise often, and pay well.
child would be loving, obedient, and respectful.
parent would be loving, patient, nurturing, and wise.
service provider would work hard and stay cheerful.
customer would be kind and appreciative.

I’m sure we could go on and on.

What Does Love Look Like – Part 2

2 / 12 / 132 / 17 / 13

^“So now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” John 13:34-35

Not a request or a suggestion, but a commandment. A commandment to love each other because that’s how the world will know we are Jesus disciples.

Paul wrote in 1 Corinthians 13 the specifics of what it looks like to love like Jesus:

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proudor rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. v. 4-7

If you’re like me, these verses make you feel guilty. I can think of a gazillion times when I haven’t lived with Jesus like love, when I’ve stubbornly wanted my way, haven’t been patient or kind, and wore irritability with pride. Ugh.