How to Trust God’s NO When You are Suffering


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It’s week #5 of the Countdown to #1 Blog Post Series.

In case you’ve missed the first four – you can check them out here:

12 Things You Need to Know About God that Will Make You Humble

The Best Ways to Teach Your Child Humble Confidence

25 of the Best Ways to Love Yourself the Way God Wants

7 of the Best Verses to Inspire Your Worship of God

Here’s the 4th most popular post here at CMB…

How to Trust God’s NO When You are Suffering

God allowed your broken heart. You've prayed and you're still suffering. Here are 5 ways to trust God's NO and allow Him to heal your broken heart.

What are you supposed to do when you feel like God is the One who allowed your broken heart?

It’s your heart’s desire.

And the Bible says, “Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you your heart’s desires.” Psalm 37:4

But for reasons beyond your ability to understand . . . God said ‘no!’

You’ve been good. You’ve tried to obey His commands. Maybe you’ve even dedicated your life to serving Him in ministry. But He still says ‘no.’

And one thought keeps repeating . . . it’s not fair!

So you pray pleading prays over and over again.

You may even find yourself whining and complaining like a child trying to get a parent to soften and give in.

But nothing changes…

You’re still waiting. You’re still sick. Still single. Still longing for a child, a job, a home, a _________.

And then like salt in a wound, everywhere you look, people who don’t even seem appreciative, have that something your heart aches for and you find yourself giving in to jealousy, tantrums, and self-pity.

This may sound familiar.

I’m ashamed to say, it’s my story.

I wanted what I wanted when I wanted it and God’s ‘no’ was simply unacceptable. I refused to trust that God had a better plan for me. And without giving you all the ugly details, I’ll tell you I learned a big lesson the hard way.

And by God’s grace, I’ve since learned a better way to trust God’s “no” even when you don’t want to.

God allowed your broken heart. You've prayed and you're still suffering. Here are 5 ways to trust God's NO and allow Him to heal your broken heart.

5 Ways to Trust God’s NO 

1. You can trust God’s NO because EVERYthing God allows is filtered through His love.

Love is God’s character and He cannot do anything that is outside of who He is. He always knows and does what is best for your eternal future even though it may not feel like it at the time.

“Real satisfaction comes not in understanding God’s motives, but in understanding His character, in trusting in His promises, and in leaning on Him and resting in Him as the Sovereign who knows what He is doing and does all things well.” ~ Joni Eareckson Tada

2. You can trust God’s NO because His goodness covers EVERYthing He allows.

God is good! Everything He does is good! You and I live in a sinful broken world and often have to live the consequences of that basic fact. But God is always at work for our good in ways that will give Him glory.

All He does is just and good, and all His commandments are trustworthy. Psalm 111:17

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. Romans 8:28

3. You can trust God’s NO because He sees the beginning from the end and He may be saying “no” to protect you. 

You and I make God too small. He is everlasting. He knows your past and your future. He knows the lives you will touch and knows how best to bless you keeping your eternal future in mind.

But you must not forget this one thing, dear friends: A day is like a thousand years to the Lord, and a thousand years is like a day. 2 Peter 3:8

4. You can trust God’s NO while you do what you can and leave the rest to Him.

Get up and focus on what you can to do today. Occupy your mind with what you have not what’s lacking. Live today embracing God’s plans and purposes which always include love . . . very big love.

“Harness the power of today. Seize the blessings of today! Make something happen, enhance your life, make someone laugh, help a friend, love, love, love!”  ~Steve Maraboli

5. You can trust God’s NO as you lean deep into His love through prayer and study of His Word.

Turn to Him! Rest in His love for you. Pray without ceasing. (1 Thessalonians 5:17) Read His Word and hold His promises close. Lean in and trust, trust, trust.

The Lord also keeps safe those who suffer. He is a safe place in times of trouble. Those who know Your name will put their trust in You. For You, O Lord, have never left alone those who look for You. Psalm 9:9–10 (NLV)

“I won’t tell you it will be easy. It won’t.”

Walking through a valley of grief and heartache is an arduous journey but it is not one we have to take alone.

Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for You are close beside me. Psalm 23:4

How to Trust God's NO When You are Suffering by Deb Wolf at Counting My Blessings

Satan will consistently use your pain, your broken heart to tempt you to doubt God’s love, give up, and take care of things on your own.

Martin Luther said that his tactics have never changed … the lie is still the same as it was in the Garden…

“The sin underneath all our sins is to trust the lie of the serpent that we cannot trust the love and grace of Christ and must take matters into our own hands” ~Martin Luther

I have learned the hard way – that God’s ways are best. I’ve lived out the consequences of falling for the enemy’s lies, and I’ve come to believe with all my heart that God’s grace saturates everything He allows and His protecting hand of mercy surrounds anything He denies.

This isn’t fatalism.

It’s faith!

Whatever you are facing today, remember…

God will walk with you through this valley. You can trust His goodness and love … He has proven just how much through His Son, Jesus. You are not alone!

God is too wise to be mistaken
God is too good to be unkind
So when you don’t understand
When don’t see His plan
When you can’t trace His hand
Trust His Heart
~Babbie Mason, Trust His Heart

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  1. Hi Deb,
    Thank you for your post today, it confirms & encourages my focus on God, in my journey in chronic health conditions especially with the chronic pain.

    The words of a hymn come to mind;
    “Trust & obey for there is no other way, to be happy in Jesus, but to trust & obey!”

    There is a cup of Chai tea waiting for you & a cinnamon bun when you drop by,

  2. A couple of years ago, my husband and I walked through a season of “no,” and while I would not volunteer to repeat it, we learned so much about the grace of God in that season.

  3. It is so difficult to live through the “No” times, when we can’t see a hand in front of our face and it seems God is distant and uncaring. That’s exactly when we need to focus on who He is, just as you’ve said here, Deb. He is love, He sees the big picture, He knows what’s best for us.
    Thanks for this inspiring message today!

  4. This is a tough lesson to learn and remain in isn’t it! How many times I return to the place of doubting, when I’ve allowed the enemy space in the 18 inches between my head and my heart. We can trust God’s NO, and I find my greatest growth is when I stop flailing and willingly accept it as a preliminary to a better YES. Good, good encouragment, Deb! Thanks for the feature:) Hugs, Crystal

  5. Great words of wisdom! I know for me I have to decide upfront that I am going to trust God no matter what. Then when the doubt creeps in, I say to myself, “Stop fretting you already decided to trust God.” I frequently also cry to God, “I don’t like it, but I will trust you.”

    Thank you for sharing with Grace & Truth Christian Link-Up

  6. Deb, like the psalmist in Psalm 73, it’s hard to look around and see others (especially as you said those who don’t even appreciate what they have), seem to have what we want. Thanks for sharing biblical truth that we can hold on to during those times.

  7. I can definitely see why this was a popular post. Such great reminders of the character of God and His heart toward us who love Him.

  8. Hello Deb,

    Thank you so much for featuring my post. It’s a real honor.
    Awesome reminder that God is trustworthy. He is our safe place and will never forsake His own.
    You are blessed.

  9. Hi Deb, thanks for a great post. Ten years ago when my unbelieving husband walked out of our marriage, I was SURE it was just a blip, that God would bring him back. I was his only real connection to the Lord, after all. God said “no”, or at least he allowed my husband to say “no” (or both) and then He did just what you said – He walked with me through that valley.
    I can only guess at why it was “no”, but I can trust that whatever the reason, it is for my good and His glory!

  10. “It’s not fair” is so easy to say, but gets us into a downward mindset. Thanks for helping us see better ways to respond to God’s “no.”

  11. It’s not always easy to remember these truths when we want something so bad and it seems like God’s ‘no’ is the worst possible thing for us. I love how you remind us to trust in the goodness and sovereignty of God. He is a loving God and he sees the bigger picture. Thank you for this beautiful reminder and thank you for sharing it at Grace and Truth last week. I would love to feature this on Friday.

    1. Oh, thank you so much, Dawn! I agree – it’s hard to remember this when I’m in the middle of a mess but oh, when I settle in and rest in His promises He faithfully gives me the strength I need to keep going through whatever is happening. Thanks again, my friend! Blessings and hugs!

  12. Love this post, Deb. In fact, my current book I’m writing now is about suffering. God never promised this would be green lights and cotton candy as we serve Him. I am learning to trust HIm in every situation – including the painful ones. Thank you for sharing these words of wisdom. I hope you and yours have a wonderful weekend and God bless.

  13. Catherine Asimit says:

    Hi Deb am very much happy for this encouragement. i was too down with no where to run,but through this piece of reading am blessed.even if my children have not reported back to school and with nothing to cater for their needs i now my ever loving GOD of Nazareth will provide in Jesus’s mighty name.

    1. I’m so thankful that you were blessed and encouraged, Catherine. May the Lord be with you and bless you with His love, peace, hope, and provision.