I’ve done a lot of thinking about flattery this week. And as often happens, I have more questions than answers. I want to be an encourager not a flatterer, but to know which way I lean I need to ask myself some hard questions. Maybe you need to ask yourself these questions, too.
These people are grumblers and complainers, living only to satisfy their desires. They brag loudly about themselves, and they flatter others to get what they want. Jude 1:16
10 Questions about Flattery
How to tell if you’re a flatterer.
1. Are you nicer to someone when you want something from them?
2. Are you kind to strangers, servers, sales-people, etc. – someone you may never meet again?
3. Are you patient with other drivers no matter what kind of car they drive?
4. Are you more attentive to your “rich uncle” than you are to the one on a fixed income?
5. Are you as pleasant around your family as you are around your friends?
1. Do you look to see how many fans or followers a blog has before you leave a comment?
2. Do you swoon over celebrities while avoiding eye-contact with those in need or homeless?
3. Do you encourage your children to become friends with the attractive, popular kids at school?
4. Do you talk to people the same way you talk about them – your neighbor, boss, coworker, etc.?
5. Do you treat the person asking you for something the way you would want them to treat you if situations were reversed?
I’m not going to tell you my answers, and you don’t have to tell me yours. All I will say is that I definitely need to work on some of them.
Remember . . .
Flattery is just sugar-coated manipulation and no matter how sweetly it’s presented manipulation is selfish and unloving.
Love however . . .
. . . is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7