You Might Be a Church Bully If…
There is a story out there about a mom who overheard her children playing in the backyard. As the yelling and name calling increased she decided to stick her head out the door and ask, “What are you kids doing? To which her six-year-old daughter looked up, smiled, and replied, “It’s okay mom, we’re just playing church.”
Yesterday was Stop Bullying Day . . . so, I thought it might be a good time for us to take a look at bullying in the church. You know it’s there. You may even have a name that came to mind.
Here are 15 ways to tell if you or someone you know is a church bully.
You Might Be a Church Bully If
You might be a church bully if you’ve ever threatened to leave a church if they won’t do things your way.
You might be a church bully if you’ve ever been angry and taken a group of your friends to start a new church.
You are a church bully if you’ve done it more than once.
You might be a church bully if you insist there is only one true translation of the Bible.
You might be a church bully if you’ve ever sent anonymous criticism to the pastor, choir director, or board of deacons.
You might be a church bully if you’ve ever started a conversation with the words, “I need to be brutally honest with you.”
You might be a church bully if you holy huddle with people who always tell you you’re right.
You might be a church bully if you’ve ever stormed out of a meeting or service in anger.
You might be a church bully if you believe your contributions of time or money mean you should get your way.
You might be a church bully if you make fun of someone’s friends, clothes, or lack of Bible knowledge.
You might be a church bully if you refuse to forgive.
You might be a church bully if you know the one true kind of music or service style.
You might be a church bully if you’ve ever gossiped about someone and called it a prayer need.
You might be a church bully if you take pleasure in pointing out other people’s failures.
You might be a church bully if you don’t want those people to join your church.
You might be a church bully if __________________________.
For jealousy and selfishness are not God’s kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. For wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind.
But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere. James 3:15-17
Come back for Part 2 – How to Identify the Different Kinds of Bullies, and Part 3 – How to Handle Bullies.
Let’s talk: How common is bullying in the church? What are the consequences of bullying in church?
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Ah…church bullies. Yep…I’ve seen ’em. People can be so stuck in their ways. I guess it is hard to change or be open to someone else not thinking exactly the same way. Some consequences of bullying in the church can be that the “victim” of the bullying leaves and doesn’t come back – to any church. I’ve heard so many people say that they don’t go to church because of being hurt there. That is so sad because as a body of believers, we should be extending love! We are all sinners…and we all have been invited into His house. Everyone is welcome at His table!
Blessings, Joan
Yes Joan many times people leave a church because of being hurt by others. The bullies don’t always appear a bully. They can be manipulative. They can be leaders and not open to suggestion for change.