How to Make Joy the Best Response To Hard Questions
Everyone has them.
These are the hard questions that are difficult to answer. Inquiries that most people answer easily but that you find personally painful.
Questions like…
- Are you married?
- How many children do you have?
- What do you do?
- What do your children do?
- Will your family be together for Christmas?
- _________________?
The Christmas season is called the most wonderful time of the year, but many find that these inquiring conversation starters are painful reminders of someone or something they lost or long for.
We’re all praying for friends who are ill, grieving, stressed, worried, and heartbroken. People for whom hard questions make festive holiday gatherings challenging.
The Season of Advent invites us to wait for Jesus focusing on Hope, Preparation, Joy, and Love … making this week’s focus word—JOY!
The dictionary defines joy as … having great delight or happiness caused by something exceptionally good or satisfying.
But if joy requires something good or satisfying to happen before we experience delight or happiness, how do we explain the following words from Paul?
Our hearts ache, but we always have joy.
1 Corinthians 6:10a
And
Always be full of joy in the Lord. I say it again—rejoice!
Philippins 4:4
What if joy isn’t about happiness but is something given to us by the Holy Spirit?
And the believers were filled with joy and with the Holy Spirit.
Acts 13:52
Our loving Father wants us to find joy in Him and the people around us. He loves us so much that He willingly pours joy into us when we surrender our lives to Him in faith. By grace, joy is experienced in direct proportion to our realization of God’s forgiveness and love.
That is the JOY we have in Jesus!
Any joy outside God’s love, grace, and mercy is nothing more than that dictionary definition—delight or happiness.
But deep and lasting joy is received, experienced, and shared as a blessing of the Holy Spirit assuring us of God’s love even when life is painful and our hearts ache.
JOY is found in the promise of God’s saving grace through faith in Jesus.
But wait…
What does faith-filled joy have to do with answering hard questions?
Joy doesn’t eliminate the personal problem that makes the questions difficult.
Paul also wrote…
I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15:13
You see, Paul knew that joy is closely related to peace and hope.
I’ve learned this year, that the joy God gives me doesn’t mean my grief is gone … it simply means God is giving me the peace, hope, and joy I need to live today.
So, how do you respond to hard questions with joy?
- You humbly surrender your day to God.
- You ask Him to help you joyfully focus on and love the people around you.
- You ask Him to give you a gentle response for your “go-to” answer.
A couple of responses that have helped me are…
- I may not understand God’s ways but I trust His promises and love.
- I know God has a plan for me and I’m taking it one day at a time.
- God’s getting me through today and I’m trusting Him with my future.
- __________________. (Share a reply that has helped you in the comments.)
Let’s pause to pray and ask God to bless us with joy even when we’re asked hard questions…
A Prayer to Respond to Hard Questions
with Peace, Hope, and Joy
Father, Your Word tells me that even when I am going through pain and problems Your Spirit can give me what I need to live with peace, hope, and joy.
My life is an open book to You. You know everything about me and make me comfortable talking with You about the distressing parts of my life. But it’s hard to share my awkward struggles with people … especially those who have been judgmental in the past or the ones I have just met.
Honestly, openly talking about the painful parts of my life hurts my heart. I ask You to help me and give me the words I need to respond with a kind expression of my faith in You. I want to communicate that I trust Your love and look forward with hope to a future filled with the blessing of joy.
I give myself to You. I trust Your timing and surrender to Your will. Please hold me close when doubt taunts and tempts me and by the power of Your Spirit, assure me that Your grace is sufficient in all things.
You are my strength today and my hope for the future. Please help me respond to hard questions with the truth of Your promises. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
Theologian Sam Storms wrote…
“Joy is not necessarily the absence of suffering, it is the presence of God.”
And Clergyman William Gurnall said…
“Hope fills the afflicted soul with such inward joy and consolation, that it can laugh while tears are in the eye, sigh and sing all in a breath; it is called ‘The rejoicing of hope.'”
It is the JOY of the LORD that goes past our pain and hard questions and with the help of the Spirit, it is hope and joy that helps us answer hard questions and share God’s love with those around us.
So, as you continue to prepare to celebrate Jesus’ birth, I pray the Lord will bless you with peace, hope, and joy. Peace for today, hope for tomorrow, and joy through it all.
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Amen and amen again, Deb! May the joy of the Lord fill you this Christmas season and always!
Thank you, Martha! Christmas blessings to you and your family!
Deb, you touched on so many things in this post that touch my heart and soul. So much of what you said in your prayer has been my prayers to God. I don’t understand all of the things I am going through in my situation. I know that God does, and He has a plan for it all. That is a joyous part of my daily life. Knowing that HE cares so much. And the part in the prayer that says, “honestly talking about the painful parts of my life hurts my heart!” It is so true. I can’t even sit in church on Sunday morning in prayer without the tears in my eyes. As I told you before, I don’t talk about it to folks. They don’t understand. I am so thankful that you do. You are such a blessing to me. Thank you so much my wonderful friend and confidant. God bless you this week and forever. Love you!
I’m so thankful for you, Sue! Yes, some things feel impossible to talk about with people. But what a blessing it is that we can talk about anything and everything with the Lord. He holds our tears as He cares for our hurting hearts. What a gracious and loving God we love and serve! God bless you, my dear friend!
Joy was my word for this year 2024. This is beautiful Deb!! I hope you have a peaceful Christmas … 💕
Thanks so much, Donna! What a great word to choose to focus on. Thanks for sharing it! Blessed Christmas to you!
Due to a concussion and other health issues my husband of 49 years moved out 5 years ago, now has another partner but wanted to keep me as his best friend and visits several times a week. Our children and grandchildren have not needed to side with either of us as with a lot of praying and grace from God I am able to accept him as a friend and still say he is a goid man. I have been able to mentor 2 other people and tell them the hurt may never totally leave but will lessen and not stay so devastating. I have had more time to volunteer with youth, teach Sunday School and now take on a mother and daughter with no family in Canada who need love and a family. My great grandchild has colic and I can give the parents relief by having him spend some nights here. Each day I still deal with sadness but look for all the blessings God had given me, and try to let His light shine through me. I can truly say God is faithful…in joy and grief.
Oh, Penny, you have such a beautiful caring heart. I can tell that you are filled with the love of the Lord and shining for His glory. Thank you so much for adding this beautiful testimony to the conversation. May the Lord be with you and bless you! Merry Christmas!