7 Ways to Know if Your Friend is a True Friend
Are you ready to take an honest look at your friendships?
It’s not easy. But it is important.
If you decide you are investing in relationships with people who are not being true friends to you, it’s important to know that you don’t have to end those relationships. You may simply guard your heart and your time a little more carefully.
How do you know if a friend is a true friend?
A true friend:
1. Is Interested – A true friend does not have to share every interest with you, but they should be open-minded and curious about the things that are important to you.
If we merely try to impress people and get people interested in us, we will never have many true, sincere friends. Friends, real friends, are not made that way. ~Dale Carnegie
2. Is Honest – A true friend will tell you if you have spinach in you teeth. They will tell you if your thoughts and actions are self-destructive. They will tell you the truth . . . but will do it in a way they shows they care about your feelings.
Giving an honest answer is a sign of true friendship. Proverbs 24:26
3. Is Balanced – A true friend values the balance between giving and receiving. They will reach out, call, invite, and listen. I’m not suggesting you keep score, but each should feel loved and valued in the friendship.
Friendship is two-sided. It isn’t a friend just because someone’s doing something nice for you. That’s a nice person. There’s friendship when you do for each other. It’s like marriage – it’s two-sided. ~John Wooden
Friendship is always a sweet responsibility, never an opportunity. ~Khalil Gibran
4. Is Trustworthy – A true friend keeps promises. You can count on them. They keep your secrets.
If they will do it with you, they will do it to you. ~Dr. Phil
So ask yourself, “Does my friend:”
- gossip to you? If the answer is yes, they will gossip about you.
- cheat others? They will cheat you.
- lie? They will lie to you and maybe even about you.
- judge others? They are judging you.
- unforgiving? They will at some point fail to forgive you.
5. Is Kind – A true friend cares about your feelings. They will not push your hot-buttons intentionally.
Constant kindness can accomplish much. As the sun makes ice melt, kindness causes misunderstanding, mistrust, and hostility to evaporate. ~Albert Schweitzer
6. Is Encouraging – A true friend knows your dreams and helps you stay pointed in the right direction. They will cheer you on when you’re discouraged, pray for you, and remind you to have hope.
A friend is one who strengthens you with prayers, blesses you with love and encourages you with hope. ~Anonymous
7. Is Forgiving – A true friend will not carry around a list of your past offenses. They will quickly give the same forgiveness they want you to give to them.
He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he must pass himself; for every man has need to be forgiven. ~Thomas Fuller
Finally, don’t be too hard on your friends. Remember, that you are not a perfect friend. You are not always kind and encouraging. You are occasionally in a hurry and fail to give your friends the attention they need. You are not always punctual . . . that’s enough. I’m sure you get the idea.
One last quote that is good for us and for our children:
When you choose your friends, don’t be short-changed by choosing personality over character. ~W. Somerset Maugham.
Many blessings to you my friends. I am so very thankful for you.
Photo Credit – BossFight.co
This quote came up in my devotions today and I thought it was a great addition to this excellent post (which I’ve shared a bunch already!): Sooner or later, we’ll be disappointed by every friend on earth; none are perfect. But The Lord Jesus Christ will never let us down. – David Jeremiah Praise God for that!
Thanks Mel! Great wisdom from David Jeremiah. It is very true our friends aren’t perfect and neither are we. What a blessing it is to have a perfect friend in Jesus. As we read through the Bible we will see Jesus is definitely our true friend. Enjoy a blessing filled day dear friend.
It’s good to evaluate your friends and friendships and I think I ‘ve shared with you before that I seem to need my friends more than they need me. I’m the one who calls and keeps in touch, I’m the one who remembers their birthdays and organizes the plans to celebrate. I’m the one who recognizes that our together time is a Saturday morning check in – but then they don’t tell me before-hand if they ‘re previously occupied so they leave me wondering – where are they? I’m guessing that I’m too needy where they’re concerned and they don’t have that same need for me. I try not to take it personally and just realize that one of my strengths might be self-discipline but maybe they’re not? Or, possibly I have more free time then they do so at times they get themselves bogged down with other things. And, I do know how to solve those issues and that’s by giving of myself to others who really do need help and who would appreciate what I might have to offer. Thanks for your helpful suggestions – you always give me something to ponder and consider.
Carolyn, I think we can all relate to your feelings. It’s hard when friends don’t appear to value our friendship the way we want them to. I too have found myself making excuses for friends. An important thing to think about is how often it happens. Once or twice no problem, but if it happens consistently you may want to guard your heart and time more carefully. Don’t end the friendship, but give them the opportunity to reach out or plan a get-together. If they never do then, pray, hope for the future and reach out occasionally. I’ve told my kids many times, “All you can do is be lovable, you can’t make someone love you the way you want them to love you.” Thanks so much for getting in on the conversation.
This is such great advice! I definitely needed to hear this.