3 Simple Questions that will Bless Your Family
I don’t know what it’s like at your house but it doesn’t seem like it’s getting any easier for families to slow down long enough to connect over meaningful conversations.
Even for those of us who try to organize our schedules so we can sit down together over dinner … countless people tell me how hard it is to get every member of the family to put down their devices for 20 or 30 minutes, look each other in the eye, and talk.
I get it!
We all love our online connections with our friends and acquaintances but it’s important that we don’t allow those surface attachments to keep us from having the close life-long family relationships we want.
At a Bible Study years ago…
I learned 3 simple questions that have blessed my conversations with my family and even with close friends.
I even have a group of blogging friends who share their answers to these questions in a small FB group each week.
You can ask and answer these questions every night or stick to once a week … whatever works best for your family. I’m simply encouraging you to try them … because I believe they will bless your family by not only helping you grow closer to one another but by helping you talk about and grow your faith in Jesus.
So, grab a basket and tell everyone to stash their phones for a bit, so you can ask…
3 Simple Questions that will Bless Your Family
What brought you joy today/this week?
Go around the table and ask each person to share something that made them happy, something fun, or something that blessed them. Something that made them thankful!
It can be as big or as small as…
- Laughing with a friend
- Encouragement from a teacher or boss
- A good grade
- A completed project
- A clean house or bedroom
- A delicious meal
- Doing something kind for someone else
- Meeting a new friend
- Finding time to rest
- Making the team
- Getting into the choir
- Getting a part in the play
- Playing with a puppy
- Making someone else happy
- Knowing you are loved
Whatever it is … celebrate with each other and praise God for every blessing!
“When large numbers of people share their joy in common, the happiness of each is greater because each adds fuel to the other’s flame.” ~Augustine
Be happy with those who are happy, and be sad with those who are sad.Romans 12:15
What was today’s/this week’s junk?
Now go around the table and give each person the opportunity to talk about the hard parts of the day.
- Where are you struggling?
- What are you worried about?
- What frightened you?
- What happened that hurt your feelings?
- What is causing you pain?
- What upset you?
This is not a time to criticize or try to fix problems; it’s just an opportunity to listen with love and compassion. Make it a safe time for both parents and adults to talk about the hard parts of life. The less you talk or offer solutions the more your family will be willing to share their junk next time.
If there is some advice you’d like to give or you believe more conversation is needed … consider talking about it privately a little later.
All of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters. Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude.1 Peter 3:8
“Many people involved in the mental health professions are beginning to understand that compassion can play a role in helping us to work with difficult emotions.”Russell Kolts
Encouraging and demonstrating compassion at home … can help our children learn ways to be compassionate away from home as well.
“Creating uplifting environment for others through the words we use and showing compassion goes outside of the home as well.”Chris Johnston
3. Where did you see Jesus at work today/this week?
Go around the table one more time and have each person share…
- Where did you see Jesus’ love for you or a friend?
- Where did you His see grace or mercy?
- Where did you notice the beauty of His creation?
- Where did He help you?
- What did you learn in the Bible or a Bible Study?
- How did He calm your fears?
- How did He help you to be strong?
- How did He help you obey Him?
- How did He answer your prayers?
This one may be harder at first but the more your family starts looking for ways the Lord is working around them the easier it will become.
The humble will see their God at work and be glad. Let all who seek God’s help be encouraged.Psalm 69:32
Whatever action is good in this life, whatever idea is good and true, whatever thing you see or hear or taste or touch, God’s creation — all of it — is designed by God as a sign and a foretaste of what it’s like to enjoy God Himself.John Piper
♥ Pray and Bless Your Family
One of the things I love about sharing our Joy, Junk, and Jesus is the way it helps us pray for each other.
Always be joyful. Never stop praying. Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus.1 Thessalonians 5:16–18
I love being able to pray together praising and thanking God for the joys my family has experienced.
It’s also a privilege for us to be able to stand together as a family and pray for our challenges … for the “junk” in our lives.
And end our prayers with surrendered hearts praising God for the ways He allowed us to see Him at work in, around and through us that day/week!
So grab a journal…
Because this is also a wonderful opportunity for your family to keep a record of the ways God is working in and through your family. Start with praise, list the junk as prayer requests, and document how and when God answers those prayers.
I love asking these questions in my small groups or just talking with a friend, too. They’re always a wonderful way to get to know and love each other better.
So, why not try it tonight – ask these 3 simple questions:
What brought you joy?
What felt like junk?
Where did you see Jesus at work?
Bless your family with intentional conversations that invite connection, caring, and compassion.
We would love to pray for you.
You can leave your prayer requests here…
and even take a few minutes to pray over the list left by our friends.
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I always enjoy hearing from you! Please take a minute to say ‘hi” and share your thoughts in the comments below.
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What wonderful and meaningful questions these are, Deb! I’ll have to forward this post to my daughter.
Blessings, my friend!
Thank you, Martha! God bless you as well!
Good morning, Deb.
This is great “Stuff!” God bless you and yours.
Thank you, Alprescia! I’m blessed by your kind encouragement!
I love this post; it is such a great way to get everyone talking around the dinner table. I saved this post and share it!
Thank you so much, Carolina! I’m so glad it blessed you!
We regularly asked our children intentional questions at the dinner table. I enjoyed those conversations. I love the intentionality of asking where Jesus is at work in our lives each day. This is a great practice.
I love that..we all need to be aware of even the small things the Lord blesses us with. If u count your blessings, you find sadness will flee from your life! Thank u! Rosie Rousseau ????????????
It’s so easy to be distracted by stuff and noise and miss all the wonderful things God is doing around us every day. You’re right, noticing what He is doing helps me count the blessings He gives and worry less. Thank you and God bless!
Christine, I think those conversations are some of the best blessings of intentionally sitting down together over a meal. Thanks so much for your kind encouragement! Blessings!
I loved these tips! We make a point to have Sunday Dinner together and these are great conversation starters!
Thank you, Michelle! I hope these questions bless your family’s conversations! God bless you!
Love this message.. plan to implement these ideas with next family get together ( we are empty nesters) , also think it could work over phone conversations and text when you can’t be physically in some area ..
lovingly in Jesus
Our family is grown as well but I love asking these questions when we are together. Even younger children can think about them and start looking for the ways they are seeing Jesus at work around them. I really appreciate your encouragement. God bless you!
I absolutely love this!
Thanks for sharing these questions.
Thank you, Lynn! I appreciate your kind encouragement! God bless you!
I appreciate these 3 questions that inspire discussion. I host a coffee cafe for homeschool moms at my Classical Conversations community, I would love to make these questions available to them as they sip mid-morning cup. Do you have any suggestions? Maybe a graphic? At the end of the day, they can then take the lovely questions home to their dinner table conversations.
Thank you, Denise. I think a graphic would be great or even just a print out with the list of all the questions to give them ideas. I think these discussions will help your group grow closer as they get to know each other better and then use them at home. Thanks again and God bless you!
In a time when cell phones dominate many of our lives, it is so important that we be intentional with having actual conversations with our family. Even making a daily “no phone” hour where they have to be put away to remove the distraction can really help!
What fantastic questions! Our children are little, but I can still ask them questions like this to help our family connection at the table. Thank you! Pinning and coming by Salt + Light link up.
Thank you, Sarah! I pray they will bless you and your family as you spend time together. God bless you!
Great three questions!!! Pray for my family to accept the changes I’m making in my life as a person, a grown women that’s not only their mother and grand mother to 5 . I finally found someone who is genuine, whose 81 yr old mother loves me for me and as a friend. We go to church together and share and pray. Cry and love… May my children come to know the Lord and His love and grace. Life is too short for judgement that His alone and not ours. I don’t know how I stumbled here Deb, but I’m thankful for new friends in Christ. I’m Eastern Catholic and my guy is Roman Catholic, we love to pray together and our love is strong through the grace of Christ and love in the Lord through whom all good blessings comes. Blessed Christmas to you and Your family!!
Ann, I’m so glad you have been blessed to find someone with whom you can share your faith. I am also praying for your children … His grace, mercy, and love are overwhelming! God bless you all!