When You Want to Have Love That Lasts Pt. 2

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Everyone is born with a need for love … a need to love and be loved. And everyone goes into a loving relationship believing they will experience a love that lasts for all of life.

But everyone has what I will call “love baggage.” Someone rejected. Someone left. Someone didn’t love the way it was needed. Someone…

We’re all someone unless we learn a better way.

Do you remember Paul’s love chapter?

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

This week when so many are focused on love, we’re looking at 10 Things You Need to Do if You Want Love that Lasts.

Last time we looked at #1–5. Today we’ll complete the list with #6–10.

Biblical Truths – When You Want Love That Lasts

6. Never Do or Say Anything That Could End Trust

Trust is harder to regain than it is to maintain, so before you say or do anything that will damage your loved ones ability to trust you . . . stop. Whatever it is, it’s not worth it. If you and I want to be trusted … we have to be consistently trustworthy. That means never saying or doing anything that would cause doubt.

“The glue that holds all relationships together … is trust, and trust is based on integrity.” ~ Brian Tracy

7. Learn to Communicate Well – Don’t Just Talk … Listen

Rev and I were taught something called, “active listening” in college. The key to this kind of listening is repeating a summary of what you heard the other person say, to make sure it is what the other person meant. It can feel awkward at first and takes a little extra time, but it is a great technique.

So practice, “Do I hear you saying __________.”

Believe me, it takes longer to get over angry hurt feelings than it does to listen and talk for understanding in the first place.

8. Laugh and Find the Fun in Every Day

Look for the humor in life then laugh, laugh, and laugh some more. It makes you feel good. It increases endorphins. It makes problems seem less overwhelming. And it strengthens your abdominal muscles and increases oxygen levels. It’s just good for you.   So laugh . . . often!

We have found the humor in hospital waiting rooms, driving through storms, waiting in lines, stuck in traffic. Find the ridiculous in the sublime … it’s good for you!

“Laughter is the most beautiful and beneficial therapy God ever granted humanity.” ~ Chuck Swindoll

9. Compliment and Encourage Way More than You Criticize

If you are a person who notices what’s wrong more quickly than what’s right; promise yourself that you’re going to change your attitude and retrain your brain. Look for little things to compliment and ways to encourage the people you love. Make sure any criticism you offer has a soft cushion of compliments on which to land. Remember, love is patient and kind.

It may take practice but you can do it. Start now.

Don’t say anything that would hurt another person. Instead, speak only what is good so that you can give help wherever it is needed. That way, what you say will help those who hear you.

Ephesians 4:29 (GW)

10. Say I Love You Often

Those words always bless the one who hears them, and they are always good for the one who speaks them. They’re a reminder that you’re in this together, committed, and intentional. I love this wisdom-filled quote from eight-year-old Jessica:

“You really shouldn’t say ‘I love you’ unless you mean it.  But if you mean it, you should say it a lot.  People forget.” 

That’s our list of ways to bless our closest relationships … things to do and a few to avoid if you want to have love that lasts.

Let’s pray…

A Prayer for Love that Lasts

Father, thank you for loving us and for giving us people with whom we can share Your love … family and friends to love and who love us. Thank you for Your Word that tells us how love is supposed to look.

Please forgive us for not being consistently kind and patient. Forgive us for being selfish, prideful, and stubborn. Forgive our irritability and for our failure to forgive quickly. And forgive us for giving up … for failing to faithfully share the love You have given us. Please forgive me.

Please, Lord, help me by the power of Your Spirit to always be honest and faithful. Help me to be quick to listen and slow to speak (James 1:9) so that I might be consistently compassionate and caring. Help me look for reasons to laugh and live with joy. Remove my tendency to criticize and make me a faithful encourager.

Please prompt me to say “I love you” often. I don’t want anyone to question or forget that I love them. I want loving relationships that last. I want to love like Jesus. I want to love like You, Father. Please help me. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

I believe those are the Biblical truths for having love that lasts.

If your people need a little nudge to get on board and apply these truths to life, share a copy of this list with them and tell them you’d like to commit to doing them together.

I believe when we each make a 100% commitment to love intentionally we will not only have lasting relationships but we will enjoy them more, too.

1. Speak the Truth Always
2. Spend Quality Time Together
3. Apologize and forgive Quickly
4. Expect to Disagree – Be Willing to Compromise
5. Give Each Other Space to Dream & Be Who God Created Them to Be
6. Never Do or Say Anything That Could End Trust
7. Learn to Communicate Well – Don’t Just Talk … Listen
8. Laugh and Find the Fun in Every Day
9. Compliment and Encourage Way More than You Criticize
10. Say I Love You Often

Here’s a Proverb to remember…

Whoever pursues righteousness and unfailing love will find life, righteousness, and honor.

Proverbs 21:21

May the Lord bless you with love that lasts through the outpouring and sharing of His grace, mercy, and love.

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