How to Bless Your Marriage by Being Grateful
It’s a little thing really.
Every evening, I set up our coffee maker so its ready to brew our favorite blend the following morning. Today’s filter goes in the trash, the glass carafe’ is filled and poured into the water reservoir, and four tablespoons of coffee beans are ground…
And that’s when it happens.
From wherever he is in the house, as those blades whirl and turn beans into powder, Rev yells … “THANK YOU!!!!”
I can’t tell you when he started because that “THANK YOU” has been echoing through the hallways of our homes for years and it’s just one of the small intentional ways gratitude blesses our marriage.
Rev and I have the same Love Language.
We both crave Words of Affirmation, so it only makes sense that we believe it’s important to say “thank you” and say it often.
That’s why I’d like to share some of our favorites … but if your Love Language is Gifts, Acts of Service, Quality Time, or Physical Touch, don’t leave because I’m going to share a few tips for simple ways you can show gratitude in those love languages and bless your marriage, too!
8 Simple Ways to say “Thank You” that will Bless Your Marriage
♥ Thank God for your spouse.
It’s easy to shoot up prayers asking God to help, bless, and sometimes even change our spouses … but stopping just to say “thank you” for your spouse is the perfect way to say “I love you!”
I have not stopped thanking God for you. I pray for you constantly. Ephesians 1:16
♥ Say “thank you” always – even for the little things.
Even if it’s simply making a pot of coffee, taking out the trash, or making the bed … “thank you” says, “I appreciate you and all you do for us!”
“A grateful heart is one that finds the countless blessings of God in the seemingly mundane everyday life.” ~ Anonymous
♥ Have an intentional 10-minute conversation every day.
This can be hard with busy schedules and children vying for attention but taking a few minutes to connect every day is important. So, put down your phones, look into each other’s eyes, talk about life and mean it!
“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.” ~ Roy T. Bennet
♥ Ignore small annoyances and thank your spouse for ignoring yours.
It’s easier to overlook the things that get on my nerves when I remember just how many of my faults Rev patiently endures. In fact, after I’ve reminded myself of all the ways I can be annoying … I can hardly remember any of his.
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace. Ephesians 4:2–3
♥Forgive quickly.
It’s downright Biblical!
If you are angry, do not let it become sin. Get over your anger before the day is finished. Ephesians 4:26
And I love this quote…
“I am amazed by how many individuals mess up every new day with yesterday.” ~ Gary Chapman
♥ Send a surprise “thank you” text just because.
I thank the Lord for you.
You make my heart happy.
I can’t wait until you get home.
Thanks for all the things you do for our family.
Thanks for marrying me. Thanks for wanting me to marry you.
Thank you for making me laugh.
Thank you for all the ways you make my life easier.
♥ End the day with an “I love you because…” proclamation.
Keep a mental or written list of the little things you love about your spouse and tell them.
Things like:
I love you because you’re fun.
I love you because of the ways you take care of us.
I love you because of all the ways you encourage me.
I love you because you make me laugh.
I love you because you’re you!
Do everything in love. 1 Corinthian 16:14
♥ Praise them to your family and friends … so they can hear you.
Make it a rule to never complain about your spouse to anyone! And you don’t have to be sappy or make obnoxious – just be thankful!
So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing. 1 Thessalonians 5:11
Ways to Say “Thank You” in Your Spouse’s Love Language and Bless Your Marriage
♥ For the spouse whose love language is acts of service…
- Make his favorite dinner and leave a thank you note on his plate that says “thank you for all you do!”
- Give you a certificate that says … Thank you for all you do – this is for 24 hours of complete relaxation while the kids and I take care of everything!
- Just do little things that show you’re thankful!
Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart. Proverbs 3:3
♥ For the spouse whose love language is quality time…
- Schedule a sitter for the afternoon and ask your spouse to choose the destination.
- Put the kids to bed early and eat a quiet romantic dinner – just the two of you.
- Declare one night a month, “I’m thankful for you, night!” And declare it technology free!
Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other. Romans 12:10
♥ For the spouse whose love language is gifts…
This one is easy! You can give a little gift anytime just make sure you add a thank you note!
“The heart of the giver makes the gift dear and precious.” ~ Martin Luther
♥ For the spouse whose love language is physical touch…
Grab a hand, sneak a quick kiss, give a back rub or foot massage and say, “I am soooo thankful for you!”
And finally, a huge way to say “thank you” in any love language…
♥ Flirt – but only with your spouse!
Recently, I’ve seen several articles about all the reasons why flirting is bad and I wonder why the assumption is that all flirting is done outside of marriage.
Any time I’m asked for my best marriage advice, NEVER STOP FLIRTING always comes right after GIVE GOD FIRST PLACE IN YOUR MARRIAGE!
I define flirting as the playfulness you did when you wanted to communicate how much you found the other person attractive.
The dictionary defines flirting as – playfully behaving as though attracted to or trying to attract someone.
Most articles add that it is a sign of sexual availability … so, flirting in your marriage is a wonderful way to say, “I’m sexually available and I’m only sexually available to you!” And I believe that says, “Thank you for being the only one with whom I want to be intimate. Thank you for being mine!”
I’m a firm believer that if I think something positive, I should say it! And saying “thank you” is the perfect way to keep thinking positive things about my marriage.
Yep, being grateful is an easy way to bless your marriage.
And after 46 years of marriage, we definitely have a lot of reasons to be grateful!
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Deb, I so adamantly agree! Saying “thank you” to your spouse is of crucial importance, each and every day. Danny and I are a lot like you and Rev – speaking our thanks to one another. And I do love the idea of flirting with your spouse. That keeps everything fresh and new.
Blessings!
Oh, Martha! I have a feeling you and Danny, and Rev and I could gab for hours!! Many blessings to you, my friend!
I really love this post. I always look for ways to slow down and just think about what I am thankful for. Truly smell the roses, so to speak. I especially love the idea of listening with curiosity. Great post.
I agree, Nicole! I want to slow down enough to realize the blessings in the chaos. God is so gracious and good! God bless you!
I always love posts on how to live out our love languages in marriage, Deb! Thanks for sharing these ideas and challenges. I need to be better at focusing on this with my husband–who is a words of affirmation kind of guy too! I’ll be pinning!
Thank you, Beth! I always appreciate your encouragement about marriage. Your posts are always so helpful and spot on! Blessing!!
Thank you for this much needed post!
Thank you, Nylse! Your encouragement is a huge blessing!!
“Ignore small annoyances and thank your spouse for ignoring yours.” YES! So important. And I love the idea of saying “I love you because…”. Knowing the why of love is really edifying and makes the words so much more meaningful.
Thank you, Crystal! Thank you so much for stopping by and for taking the time to join the conversation. You’re right … knowing the why behind the words adds a dimension that makes “I love you” more than just three little words. God bless you!
What a great post! So much encouragement for showing love in marriage. Feeling unappreciated is often a complaint voiced in many conversations of married couples, and a simple ‘thank you’ can mean so much. Remembering to take the extra effort can make all the difference in the world! Thank you for such an important reminder!
Wonderful tips for a happy marriage. My hubby and I learned the language of gratitude with each other after many years of struggle. We grew into our happy place!
This is not only a great read, Deb, it’s the reminder that I needed today. Thank you for these tips which never go out of style. I’m sharing on FB. Happy Thanksgiving!
Thank you to my sister-n-law for forwarding me your blog! I had a prayer request and when I opened my e-mail, there you were. My daily devotions were getting a little stale, like old bread, and now I have the spark of connecting with other believers or soon to be…… YES, God knows every minute what I need. Again, thank you for your time and commitment in reaching out to me. God Bless you Deb!
Thank you so much for stopping to say “hello,” Joyce! Your kind encouragement truly blesses me! I’m looking forward to getting to know you! God bless you!
Isn’t it amazing how even a few tender words can recalibrate a rough day, a misunderstanding. Thanks for this gentle nudge toward speaking affection, appreciation, and love.
I completely agree, Linda! Being kind, humble, and grateful at home can make a huge difference in the tone we set for our marriages and in parenting. Now to remember that even on a stressful or difficult day. Thanks so much for visiting and for stopping to say, “hello.” Blessings!
Deb, these are such wonderful and practical reminders for me to apply to my own marriage. The best part? I can do any one of them! Thank you so much for the encouragement! ????
Thank you, Sonya! I so appreciate your kind encouragement! I’m so glad this blessed you!