Good vs. Evil – The Best Advice for Dealing with Betrayal

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Betrayal causes anger, frustration, and fear and instigates retribution and rejection. But God has a better way for us to deal with those feelings and move on in faith with peace and hope.

It has happened to everyone. People betray and they have betrayed each other since sin entered our world.

I did a little digging and discovered the word betrayal can mean many any of the following:

  • to be unfaithful.
  • to be disloyal.
  • to disappoint.
  • to reveal something confidential.
  • to deceive.
  • to abandon.
  • to fail to keep a promise.

It appears that we use the word to cover a broad spectrum of circumstances . . . some momentarily unpleasant and some with devastating life-changing consequences.

David was betrayed. He was the chosen but not yet king and He was running for his life from King Saul who believed that David’s growing popularity was a threat to his position.

At one point, David and his men turned to Ahimalech, a priest in the town of Nob. They were both tired and hungry, so Ahimalech helped them.

While they were there, they were seen by Doeg, one of Saul’s servants. And Doeg believed he could elevate his status and become a great warrior by reporting what he saw to Saul.

Saul believed that Ahimelech had betrayed the throne and proceeded to kill Ahimelech, his family, and all the priests of Nob. Although Saul believed he had been betrayed; however, the real betrayal was what Doeg did to God’s anointed.

David was understandably upset when he learned what had happened. But instead of getting revenge or seeking retribution he wrote Psalm 52 and gave the situation to God…

Why do you boast about your crimes, great warrior?
    Don’t you realize God’s justice continues forever?

Psalm 52:1

David chose to put his trust in God’s justice believing that God knows the truth and that justice flows from His heart.

David was familiar with the following words of Moses…

He is the Rock; His deeds are perfect.
    Everything He does is just and fair.
He is a faithful God who does no wrong;
    how just and upright He is!

Deuteronomy 32:4

I don’t know about you but I think most people want to “do something” when they’ve been betrayed. And that desire leads many to either react defensively or aggressively.

When dealing with betrayal it can be hard to think about anything else . . . to give it to God and let Him take care of it but that’s exactly what His Word tells us to do.

I can tell you that we may never know when or how God will protect and defend us but when we fix our thoughts on what is true and surrender our circumstances to God’s justice, we can move forward and live one day at a time with peace and joy.

David ended Psalm 52 with these words…

 I will always trust in God’s unfailing love.
I will praise You forever, O God,
    for what You have done.
I will trust in Your good name
    in the presence of Your faithful people.

Psalm 52:8b–9

As I read those words it made me think of something Paul wrote to the Philippians…

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.

Philippians 4:8

We can trust His unfailing love and care.

Betrayal causes anger, frustration, and fear and instigates retribution and rejection. But God has a better way for us to deal with those feelings and move on in faith with peace and hope.

Let’s pray…

A Prayer for God’s Help to Deal with Betrayal

Lord, this hurts and I’ll admit I feel angry and frustrated. I’ve been betrayed but You know that. You also know how betrayal feels. You experienced a terrible betrayal. It amazes me that You always knew the horrible suffering that was required to deliver us from the punishment we deserved and yet, You still surrendered Yourself in love. You knew that Judas would betray You and yet, You chose to have him walk with You throughout Your ministry.

Your Word tells me that I can bring my heavy burdens to You and You will help me carry them. (Matthew 11:28) So, I’m laying this down before You. I’m giving You my anger, frustration, and fear. Please give me everything I need to focus my thoughts on the things that are true and honorable and right. Help me think about all that is excellent and praiseworthy.

Help me to give myself completely to You in faith trusting Your care surrendered to Your unfailing love. Amen.

Betrayal causes anger, frustration, and fear and instigates retribution and rejection. But God has a better way for us to deal with those feelings and move on in faith with peace and hope.

As I continued praying and thinking about how hard it is to let go of a betrayal by giving it to God, I felt the Spirit whisper, “It’s a faith issue.”

And I realized He was right. It takes faith to trust God to deal with those who have betrayed us. It takes confident dependence to look away and trust God to work for the good of His children.

And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them. 

Romans 8:28

That’s a promise we can trust. I know because we’ve experienced a life-changing betrayal and later learned that God had protected us in ways we could not see at the time.

Although we may never know how He chooses to deal with the betrayer or work through the betrayal, faith is simply trusting that He will and letting Him carry our burden for us.

So, give your anger, frustration, and fear to God. Trust His unfailing love. Be confident that He is at work on your behalf. Praise Him for who He is and all He does. Trust His willingness to help your hurting heart and give you everything you need each day.

May God bless you and give you His perfect peace now and always.

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  1. Exactly what I needed to here today after adopted child said lies about parents being abusive to him, he lies constantly about anything and everything to get out of trouble and his consequences, he never takes ownership of his words and actions and finds blame in others for his mistakes, makes it really tough to have a relationship as there is no trust, only through trusting God will I find peace.

    1. I can relate to this. God bless you and you are right. The only peace comes from God.
      I pray that things will go better for you.

    2. I’m so sorry, Fran. It is so very hard to pour out your love and have it be rejected and betrayed in return. We have experienced that pain and it is awful. I’ll admit, at the time I was afraid it might break me. But God did see me through. He held me close and through His love my faith has grown like crazy. This ministry can out of that pain. I’m praying for you and asking God to comfort you and pour His love into you from many directions. May He be with you and bless you!

  2. Good vs Evil, Thank you for sharing. I really needed to hear this today. God Bless you!!

    1. I’m glad it blessed and encouraged you, Mary! Thank you for letting me know. God bless you!

  3. Betrayal can open up all kinds of slippery slopes, Deb, unless we surrender completely to God’s will and trust that all will be made well in His time and place.

    1. Amen, Martha! May we surrender it quickly before it has a chance to take root in us. God is so good to carry our burdens and give us His peace. God’s blessings!

  4. Thank you for this post. I have been dealing with betrayal in my family. It has been a heavy burden, and the frustration, (and anger; I admit! I don’t understand this! So, it does make me go through periods of anger! Soul searching!) and fear! Fear that the enemy roars out to me in the night!! Reminding me of the sense of loss. You know what? I hold on to God’s promises and I pray, sing songs like, “Jesus Loves Me” and “Love Lifted Me!” I know that this situation is bringing me into a closer relationship with God! Learning to trust him more and more. Strengthing me for better service to God. From past experiences, I know that God has NEVER LET ME DOWN! Like you Deb, I may not have understood it at the time, but when all was said and done, I have been able to see the enormous blessings that have come to me. I truly believe that trials teach trust, and give us strength to carry on. Today your post is a reminder to me and I am grateful for it.
    God bless you!!

    1. Kathy Francescon says:

      Thank you Sue, for sharing this today! I think most everyone can relate! And how I love the song “Love Lifted Me!” I was a bit weary yesterday and was singing it as I made my bed! Keeping you in my prayers, sweet Sue! Your light is shining out!

      1. Kathy, you are such a kind person. I had to smile when you said you were singing “Love Lifted Me” yesterday. It is a great and uplifting song. Are we related????
        Thank you for always keeping me encouraged. And you are so right about forgiveness. Forgiving frees us to carry on. God bless you Sweet Friend!!

      2. Thank you Kathy. You are such a kind and sweet person. So caring and so “spot on” with your comments. Forgiveness is the key. And, as you said, you may not forget, but it does give peace of mind. I appreciate you and your encouragement. And, you are right about another thing; Deb is such a good “Mentor” to us.
        Glad you like “Love Lifted Me” as well. It is such a great song.
        God Bless you sweet dear friend in Christ.

        1. Kathy Francescon says:

          Thank you, Sue! It does feel so good to be in community and to lift each other up! Deb has brought so many of us together as friends in Christ!

    2. I’m sorry you have been dealing with this pain, Sue. And yes, you’re right! The enemy roars out reminders of our pain, especially at night when we’re alone with our thoughts. I love that you’re turning to prayer and praise at those moments. What a God-honoring thing to do. I know He will hold you close and carry You through this. And I’m praying for you. Blessings and hugs!

  5. Kathy Francescon says:

    I think “forgiveness” is an absolute core commandment that we must exercise and extend continually, no matter what. We may not forget the betrayal, but forgiveness is truly the only way we can move forward. Otherwise, we will be guilty of betraying God and His forgiveness of us. Mark 12:26
    But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in Heaven, forgive your trespasses.
    May God grant us the grace to always forgive! Growing stronger with your ministry, Deb! You are a delight to my day and blessing to my soul! Praying for God to hold you and Rev ever so close. Love and blessings to you my dear friend and mentor!

    1. Thank you so much, Kathy! You’re right. The Lord is clear on the importance of forgiveness. We glorify Him and show people His love when we forgive them. It’s not always easy and it’s definitely not the world’s way but it is God’s will for us and it is the only way we are able to experience God’s healing peace. I thank the Lord for your friendship! Blessings and hugs!

  6. Ana Cordova says:

    What a great topic since I have had to deal with betrayal from several family members. The way I have dealt with it is by putting it all in God’s hands. I pray that he gives me a clean heart, grace, mercy to forgive those that have hurt me so I can continue to grow in faith.
    Thank you Deb for the beautiful words of encouragement and blessings. God Bless you ????

    1. What a wonderful God-honoring faith-filled reaction, Ana. I believe that is what He wants us to do . . . trust Him and ask Him to heal our hearts. Thanks for sharing this and for your encouragement. God’s blessings!

  7. ESTHER says:

    Thank you so much for this message Deb. It has brought such warm relief and comfort to me as I read Fran’s reply. I too am going through something similar with an adopted daughter. I never thought she would resort to such an evil hurtful thing she has done. But this message has brought me such comfort. Thank you Deb for such Beautiful mentoring.

    1. I’m so sorry, Esther. We have experienced that pain as well. I am so very thankful that the Lord pulled us close and has helped us rely even more on him. Thank you for opening your heart to adoption. I continue to believe it is a tangible example of God’s love for all of us. Some will respond with love and gratitude and some will reject. I’m praying for you . . . asking the Lord to heal your hurting heart and work in your daughter to know the truth of your love for her. God be with you and bless you!