5 Important Things You Need if You Want to Be an Excellent Friend
“I cannot even imagine where I would be today were it not for that handful of friends who have given me a heart full of joy. Let’s face it, friends make life a lot more fun.” ~ Charles Swindoll
I totally agree.
God created us to be in relationships with Him and with the people He puts around us. We rarely get to choose our family members, co-workers, or neighbors but friends choose each other.
Having close friends is an amazing blessing.
And having someone we consider an excellent friend . . . that is a precious gift from God.
Paul wrote…
Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other.
Romans 12:9–10
And that’s great counsel . . . but I’m a detail person, I like specifics. So, let’s look at:
5 Things You Need if
You Want to Be an Excellent Friend
1. You Need to Be Yourself
Every individual is uniquely and wonderfully created by God. That’s you and me! He gave each of us unique personalities, talents, and passions. Trying to be anyone but who God created us to be will keep us from having the close relationships He wants for us.
You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body and knit me together in my mother’s womb. Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Psalm 139:13–14a
2. You Need to Be Truthful and Trustworthy
It can be tempting to tell your friends what they want to hear; and the closer the friend, the more you know what they want to hear. But God made us to help each other and we can’t do that without speaking the truth.
But always remember to be kind and compassionate . . . tell the truth with gentleness and respect.
Keep your promises. Do what you say you’re going to do. Be who you say you are. True friends are people on whom we can depend. Friends trust each other when they are true to their word.
As iron sharpens iron, so a friend sharpens a friend.
Proverbs 27:17
3. You Need to Be Caring and Encouraging
Excellent friends care about the goals, hopes, and dreams of the people close to them. They cheer on every success and motivate one another to keep going even when the going is tough.
And let us be concerned about one another in order to promote love and good works.
Hebrews 10:24 (HCSB)
4. You Need to Be a Thoughtful Listener
Listen to understand more than simply to hear. Listen with your heart.
You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
James 1:19
5. You Need to Be Humble and Forgiving
Sooner or later every friendship has to deal with misunderstandings, challenges, and hurt feelings. Be humble, patient, and forgiving. Always and Quickly!
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
Ephesians 4:2
A Prayer Asking For God’s Help
to Be an Excellent Friend
Father, thank you for giving us the blessing of friendship. Thank you for each of my friends.
Your Spirit inspired John to write “I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment—to love one another.” (1 John 2:7) That love is a gift You give us to share with one another. Paul wrote that “Love is patient and kind . . . it doesn’t demand its own way.” (1 Corinthians 13:4–5)
I’m sorry, Father, I’ve failed to love my friends the way You want me to. I can so easily hurry past moments when I could have listened with love. I can be selfish and prideful and slow to forgive. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.
Help me love the way You want me to . . . help me love like Jesus. I want to be the person You designed me to be. I want to encourage my friends to recognize the beauty that You placed within them. I want to be truthful and trustworthy, caring and encouraging, humble and forgiving.
I want to be the friend who loves well. Please help me, Lord. Make me an excellent friend. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.
It’s easy to think that if we do these things people are going to take advantage of us. And maybe that’s true.
How other people act, does not change God’s will for us.
So you and I are called to, set wise godly boundaries around our friendships, willingly love and forgive as the Lord has loved and forgiven us.
So, let’s pause today and take some time to cherish and enjoy the blessing of every excellent friend God has given us.
May God be with you and bless you, help you love like Jesus, and make excellent friends.
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Hmmm…I don’t have much luck in this arena. Have many great acquaintances, but not friends. Each time I entrusted my friendship, even on believers, I got burned. Believer friends turned out to be users, or caring more about ideology than friendship. At this point my only true friend is my hubby. But even with him I’m limited as he can’t bare all the truths, and by not walking in faith, there are many things he doesn’t understand. My other friend possibility is Jesus, Who is offering Himself since I know my mind.
I try to be true to Jesus, live life each day how it would please Him. Many times it leads to good witnesses when strangers appreciate kindness….but that’s a far cry from a friend who I can be honest with to my core without the fear that my trust would be violated in any form.
Maybe those false friendships, deceptions made it difficult for me to trust. Though so many times I catch myself to open up too easy, and willing to trust just to get burned again.
Yet, when it comes to Jesus and God, even though I have EVERY REASON TO TRUST AND BELIEVE, I have such a hard time with it. The Lord proven hundreds, thousands of times His trustworthiness, His love, faithfulness – goodness, I would have dumped myself decades ago, – yet He lovingly walks with me and guides me to the right path….why is it so difficult than to Trust Him???? Jesus could and would be my Greatest Friend ever!!!! The One Who always listens, always loving, always gives me the right advise….the One Who points out my shortcomings, shows the solution, Who is wise and fair. What a Friend I could have …. ❤️
It is hard to trust again after people have hurt us. I’m praying and asking God to bless you with some trustworthy caring friends who will bless and encourage you. And yes, so thankful to have Him as our greatest Friend! God be with you and bless you, my friend!
I’m so very grateful to God for giving us friendships. I have to confess, though, that after all these years, Danny is truly my best friend, and I think he would say the same about me. We trust one another completely, and can depend upon each other without fail.
Blessings, Deb!
That’s wonderful, Martha! Rev is my best friend, too! It truly is a wonderful blessing. Have a beautiful week, dear friend!
Hi Deb! I LOVE this post, made me smile bigger and bigger as I kept reading it today. I want to be an excellent friend to the sweet friends that God brings into my life. Thank you for this beautiful post! ????????
Thanks so much, Donna! I’m so glad I could bless you with some smiles. Hope you have a wonderful week. Blessings!