Unexpected & Useful Things I’ve Learned About Living With Grief

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Tomorrow is the second anniversary of Rev being welcomed home into the loving arms of Jesus. I wonder if those days are celebrated in heaven, like birthdays.

Over the past two years, I’ve learned a lot about living with grief. Something I don’t believe anyone wants to learn firsthand. Most of us prefer not to think about it … until we have to.

If you can be patient with me, here are things I’ve learned over the last 24 months, 730 days, 1,051,898 minutes.

Truths I’ve Learned about Living With Grief

♥ Take your time. You don’t have to make any major decisions or changes quickly.

I don’t have many memories from 2024. Oh, there are occasional snippets, but most of the year was lived on autopilot, just doing the essentials in a fog. Yet, even through the fog, I knew that God was with me.

The Spirit helped me remember God’s promises…

The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.

I especially like way The Message says it…

If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there; if you’re kicked in the gut, He’ll help you catch your breath. (MSG)

Psalm 34:18

Amen! Countless times, I cried out, asking the Lord to hold me and give me the strength I needed in the moment, and He faithfully provided every time.

I’ve also learned that…

♥ Grief touches every part of our lives—Physically, Mentally, Spiritually, and Emotionally.

Physical – it’s normal to notice additional aches and pains, numbness, changes in appetite, sleep disturbances, gut issues, and even mild hair loss.

So, it’s important to take care of yourself. Take walks when you can, rest when you can, eat a healthy diet, and check in with your health-care advisors.

Mental – It can be hard to think about anything other than your grief, so it’s normal to experience difficulty concentrating, forgetfulness, confusion, and generalized brain fog.

Give your brain time to adjust to this major change; give yourself grace and don’t let anyone put you on a schedule.

Spiritual – We pray and pray and wonder why God didn’t answer our prayers the way we wanted. It’s normal to ask questions, and I believe it’s okay. God understands, and He can handle our questions.

Jesus knew Lazarus’ life would be restored that day, and yet…

When Jesus saw her weeping and saw the other people wailing with her, a deep anger welled up within Him, and He was deeply troubled. “Where have you put him?” He asked them. They told Him, “Lord, come and see.” Then Jesus wept. 

John 11:33–35

The Lord showed love and care for Mary and Martha, and He loves and cares about you and me.

Emotional – It’s normal for grievers’ emotions to be expressed more easily and more intensely. We expect to feel sad and lonely, but we may not expect moments of anger, frustration, and fear.

I spent a lot of time talking with God about my emotions, and He lovingly reminded me of the many times He walked with me through painful times in the past.

I also joined a Grief Share Group in January 2025. It helped me so much that I’m helping to facilitate the 2026 session and hope to continue helping others walk through the Grief Share Program in the future.

♥ What are the Unexpected and Useful Things I’ve Learned about Living with Grief?

It’s normal for grief to impact every part of everything every day, but I think the physical parts surprised me the most.

But the most important thing is…

♥ I’ve learned that God keeps His promises.

• He is close to the brokenhearted. Psalm 34:18
• His Spirit will never leave His children. John 14:16
• He is my refuge and strength. Psalm 46:1
• He is my source of comfort. 2 Corinthians 1:3
• And He will wipe every tear from our eyes, and death will be no more. Revelation 31:4

Let’s pray…

Lord God, I think one of the things I’ve learned about living with grief is how much You hate that death is part of our lives. You love us so much that You physically stepped into our world and personally experienced our suffering.

You walked with grieving people and grieved the death of family and friends. Then You endured horrendous suffering and death to save us.

When we cry out to You with our grief, we’re not reaching out to a distant, unaware god far, far away. We’re calling out to the One and only God who knows every detail of our lives and promises to be with us and give us everything we need.

It’s comforting to know that You hate death even more than we do. It is a consequence of sin in our world. Although we hate it, we could do nothing about it. But You did.

This world is not all there is. We can be confident that our loved ones who have KNOWN, LOVED, and TRUSTED You are with You in glory. And we can live each day with the confidence that through FAITH and Your GRACE, MERCY, and LOVE, we will join You and our loved ones for all eternity.

Thank you for being with us and giving us comfort and hope as we walk the journey of living with grief. Your grace is sufficient. And with the strength Jesus gives, I can make it through the days ahead. It’s in His holy name, I pray. Amen.

By God’s grace, we have all we need to live with hope for the future…

He will wipe every tear from their eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things are gone forever.”

Revelation 21:4

“Grief is not the absence of faith—it’s faith with tears in its eyes, still choosing to believe.” ~ Anonymous

No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Romans 8:39

So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive His mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.

Hebrews 4:16

Friend, God is with us, and His gracious love is holding onto us. As lonely as living with grief can feel at times, we are not alone.

I want you to know that whatever or whomever you are grieving, I’m asking the Lord to give you everything you need as you rest in His love.

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