How To Love Your Family Even When They’re Obnoxious

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Everyone has at least one relative who makes the holidays difficult for everyone else.

Jesus told us, “Love your neighbor as you love yourself.” That includes “love your family.” Sometimes the most difficult people to love are the ones to whom we’re related.

Most Americans will gather with their families later today or tomorrow to celebrate and remember this year’s blessings. We’ll overeat and carry on with annual family traditions.

But we’ve all heard about families whose holiday gatherings are awkward or not happening because of family members who were “offended” by how others voted in the recent election.

Then there are the families that haven’t celebrated together for years because of an offense that happened decades ago.

I understand, your brother-in-law is obnoxious and your aunt and uncle drive you up the wall. They bait you and you’re tired of going home with a bloody tongue from biting back all the things you wanted to say.

However, there’s an important truth we all need to remember…

Everyone—yes, everyone—views the world through a lens of their own emotions and experiences. We may not agree with them or even like them. But we haven’t lived their experiences and don’t know the little details that shaped their thoughts and beliefs.

You don’t know every detail of their story and they don’t know yours. We all look at each other’s lives through personal lenses and make incorrect assumptions based on our limited information.

So…

Be gracious and kind … even if you don’t think they deserve it.

For the small amount of time that God allows us to be together with our families, let’s “suck it up,” put aside our differences, forgive, and love the family around us.

Paul wrote…

♥ Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 

Colossians 3:12–13

And…

♥ Give thanks for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ. And further, submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:20–21

I love this quote by Adrian Rogers…

“The same Jesus Who turned water into wine can transform your home, your life, your family, and your future. He is still in the miracle-working business, and His business is the business of transformation.“

The Life Application Notes share the following about 1 Corinthians 13:4–7…

“God’s kind of love is directed outward toward others, not inward toward ourselves. It is utterly unselfish. This kind of love goes against our natural inclinations. It is impossible to have this love unless God helps us set aside our own natural desires so that we can love and not expect anything in return.”

Let’s pray…

A Prayer to Love Your Family
Even When They’re Obnoxious

Father God, You created families. You told Adam and Eve to be “fruitful and multiply.” You said a “man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.”

Through Your plan for families, we have grandparents, parents, children, grandchildren, aunts, uncles, and cousins. You also made each person “unique and wonderful.” (Psalm 139) Every family member has personalized character traits and emotions. And each has lived their own past experiences.

We won’t agree on everything nor will we always like or agree with each other’s actions and reactions. Please forgive us and help us love each other well. Please make me patient, kind, and forgiving. Help me love unselfishly and “love and not expect anything in return.”

I can’t on my own but I believe with Your help … “I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” It’s in His name I pray. Amen.

I’m not trying to tell you it will be easy to love everyone in your family. I know it’s sometimes hard! God knows it can be hard but He promises to help us accomplish His will even when it seems impossible.

God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases Him.

Philippians 2:13

So, let’s make the following quote one to remember…

♥ Love your family. Spend time, be kind & serve one another. Make no room for regrets. Tomorrow is not promised & today is short. ~ Unknown

Life is short. The time we spend together is even shorter. So, for a few days a year let’s put aside our differences and remember that it’s important to “love your family even when they’re obnoxious.

May God bless you with a wonderful Thanksgiving. We have so many reasons to thank and praise Him today, tomorrow, and every day of the year.

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