50 Simple Ways to Bless & Strengthen Your Marriage
52 years ago today, Rev and I were married! Over the decades we spent together, we came up with a list of tips that we believe can strengthen your marriage.
One thing I know for sure is that although so much happened as we journeyed together, looking back it felt like just a moment.
In 50+ years we raised a family, served in ministry, and ran a business. We purchased homes, cars, and stuff to go in them. We laughed and cried and shared easy days and hard days.
It was a wonderful adventure and I’m thankful for every moment.
Before I share our list, I’d like to share just a few of the things I learned personally…
I learned, early on, that holding in hurt feelings and dumping a whole avalanche of tears and frustration at once is not as effective as talking something through as soon as it happens. Yes, I did that.
I learned that Rev’s love didn’t change when my weight increased by 35 pounds the summer after we were married and it didn’t change when I lost that weight the following year.
I also learned that when Rev said, “I’m not very hungry tonight,” he meant I don’t care for this, please don’t make it again.
And that was in the first year…
So, imagine how much we learned in our 50+ years together. Here are some that we believe can strengthen your marriage.
50 Ways to Bless &
Strengthen Your Marriage
- Say “I love you” every day and mean it.
- Don’t think your spouse can read your mind.
- Don’t think you can read your spouse’s mind.
- Listen carefully to understand before you speak to persuade.
- Choose to be kind even when you don’t agree.
- The tone of your voice matters almost as much as your words.
- Say “please and thank you” always.
- If you like something, say so. If you don’t . . . pause if possible.
- Remain playful and flirt with each other (and only each other) every day. It’s fun!
- Be prepared – people and circumstances will challenge your relationship.
- Set safe boundaries to protect your relationship.
- Pray for each other faithfully.
- Pray with each other often.
- When you can’t agree … agree to disagree, give it to God, and let it rest for a while.
- Apologize quickly.
- Forgive quickly.
- Be prepared – your children will try to divide and conquer.
- Always stand united in front of your children.
- Learn your spouse’s love language and use it.
- Don’t criticize your spouse’s efforts to help.
- Never start or end the day with complaining or nagging. Better yet, don’t complain or nag … talk.
- Be a team and remember that you want what’s best for the team. Work together.
- Be patient with your spouse’s quirks and faults. You want them to be patient with yours.
- Remember – no one is perfect, not even you.
- Read 1 Corinthians 13 often and apply it.
- Be intentional about spending time with each other.
- Keep the romance alive and active. Little things go a long way.
- Talk, listen, and work together . . . especially on things like parenting, money, sex, extended family, etc.
- Use your words – Communicate your feelings and give your spouse the freedom to do the same.
- Never complain about your spouse to others. NEVER!
- Believe in your spouse’s ability to try new things and succeed with God’s help.
- Choose your battles cautiously – ask yourself, “is this really that important?”
- Give each other space to pursue personal interests.
- Be willing to try things that interest your spouse . . . like sports, hobbies, etc.
- Give each other personal time to refresh and reset.
- Never stop doing the thoughtful “little things” you did before you were married.
- Don’t ever compare your marriage to someone else’s.
- Cherish the good days and let go of the bad ones.
- Remember trust is easy to lose and extremely difficult to get back.
- Never take your spouse for granted.
- Find the humor in life … laugh loud and often.
- Be best friends as well as lovers.
- Worship and serve God together.
- Work together to be good stewards of God’s blessings.
- Spend time as a couple with people who love God and you.
- Be your spouse’s greatest cheerleader.
- Celebrate the little things.
- Marriage isn’t 50/50 it is each person giving 100% every day.
- Remember to live in the moment – leave the past in the past and don’t worry about the future.
- If you want to strengthen your marriage, center your relationship on Jesus. Remember … a three-strand cord is hard to break. (Ecclesiastes 4:12)
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.
Ecclesaistes 4:12
Let’s pray for our marriages…
A Prayer to Bless & Strengthen Your Marriage
Father, Jesus said, “The two shall become one, let no one split apart what God has joined together.” (Mark 10:8) The Spirit inspired Solomon to tell us that two together are better than one. (Ecclesiastes 4:9)
Thank you for the blessing of marriage and family. In Your wisdom, You made a way for us to lovingly care for one another. Yet, in our sinful selfish human nature, we so often make a mess of the things You intended for our good. Please forgive us and help us.
Please help us love each other as You designed. Your Word says that love is patient and kind, humble, caring, and forgiving. It is honest, hopeful, and full of faith. You want us in loving relationships that endure and what an amazing gift it is when that happens.
Thank you for pouring Your love into our lives and for giving us people with whom we can share it. Please bless our marriages Lord for Your glory and unite us with strength as we make You the foundation of our lives together. Amen.
How I wish we could have kept that list of tips perfectly. We couldn’t and I’m guessing you can’t either. But I will tell you it’s worth giving it everything you’ve got because I believe that they are things that made our marriage an amazing blessing.
I love this quote from Gary Smalley…
“Make it your goal to create a marriage that feels like the safest place on earth.”
Tell us, what’s your favorite tip for making your marriage feel like the safest place on earth?
May the Lord bless and strengthen your marriage with lasting love and much joy!
We would love to pray for you.
You can leave your prayer requests here…
and even take a few minutes to pray over the list left by our friends.
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These tips are spot-on, Deb! I know that Danny and I try to abide by your list stated here, and it certainly makes for a strong and lasting union. Perfect? Far from it! But still, worth trying every day.
Blessings!
Thank you, Martha! Blessings to you and Danny now and for many many years to come. Hugs!
This is the list of lists! So much wisdom from a wise woman. Thank you Deb, that even in your time of grief, you continue to impart wisdom and cheer us on! Much love to you! We all need this reminder and encouragement. I am sharing with my friends.
Thank you for your kind words, Kelly. God is good and blessings me with His presence and hope … and wonderful people who are encouraging me with His love. Blessings, sweet friend!
What a wise list and awesome marriage! Hope your day is full of sweet memories!
Thank you, Nancy. Yes, I’m holding on to many precious memories. God’s blessings to you and Tony! Hugs!
What a wonderful and well thought out list. I love it. It does take both to follow this and as you said, we won’t do it perfectly. We always have date night on Saturday evening. The phone is turned off and it is just the two of us. We have done this for years and it is our “special time!” And, I love the part that you said to NEVER complain to someone else about your spouse. Outside opinions and advice is not the best at all. Talk to each other. Thank you for this beautiful list. I will copy and paste it and send it to my newly married granddaughter. It can’t hurt!!
God Bless You Deb for writing this. I know that you probably shed some tears as you went over it.
You are quite a lady, my friend!
Thank you, dear Sue. No, we won’t do it perfectly. We need lots of grace and if possible lots of laughter. By God’s grace, those two things can help us focus on what’s good more than what’s not. Thanks as always for your words of encouragement. Blessings and big hugs!
Oh my, thank you Deb sure needed this list. I want to congratulate you for the 50 beautiful years you had with your husband. Thank you despite him passing his spirit and memories will always be in your heart. I will definitely ask God to help me continue to keep us in unity just as he brought us together. Those were great words and prayer to cherish and live by them. Blessing Deb have a wonderful day!
Thank you, Ana. I appreciate your kindness, encouragement, and prayers. May God be with you and bless you!
On February 17 it would have been our 50th anniversary. Sadly, it ended at 45 years. He was a cheater from year 3. We married in my home church with the Pastor who was also my neighbor. He said marriage is like building a house. I stayed all those years because of my vow to God, for a lifetime. He left me as an old lady and went to a younger one. I am so much more happy since he left.
I’m so sorry, Theresa. It sounds like you have walked a very difficult journey. May the Lord be with you and bless you as you walk into the future with Him.
Hello, Deb,
Thank you for the words of truth and wisdom.
My husband and I have been blessed with a beautiful and blissful marriage of 30 years. He still opens the car door for me, and brings me flowers and lovely surprises. We have weekly date nights and romantic getaways.
Let me add: God first, Love, respect, communication, practicing gratitude together, commitment, daily prayers together, being gracious to each other, serving God, and more…
We ALWAYS put God first in our relationship, marriage, and home, because where there is God, our foundation will always remain solid.
Colossians 3:14-17 – 1 Corinthians 13:13 –
Ephesians 5:22-27 – Philippians 4:4-9.
We will soon be leaving for vacation to
Europe for the whole month in April.
Deb, may God go before you and make the rough roads smooth. May His joy be your strength and His peace fill your heart.
In His Kingdom,
Raquel
Hello, Deb,
Thank you for the words of truth and wisdom. My husband and I have been Blessed with with a beautiful and blissful marriage of 30 years. He still opens the car door for me, brings me flowers and surprises me with gifts. We have weekly date nights and romantic getaways.
Let me add: Putting God first, love, communication, commitment, serving God, encouraging each other, praying together, and more… We always put God first in our marriage and home because where there is God our foundation will always be strong.
Colossians 3:14-17 – Ephesians 5:22-27.
We are going to Europe on vacation in April.
Deb, may God go before you and make the rough roads smooth. May His joy be your strength and His peace fill your heart.
In His Kingdom.
Raquel
It sounds like you have been blessed with a wonderful husband and marriage. They are a wonderful gift from the Lord. Have a wonderful trip!! The Lord is surrounding me with family and friends and holding me close when I cry out in grief. I can’t imagine trying to do even a moment without Him. God be with you and bless you abundantly.
I love this! My husband and I will be married 45 years in November. We’ve been back in church for a couple of years now and it has been such a blessing and help to both of us. He’s become involved with helping the church in ways I didn’t know were possible and it’s been so good for him. He’s medically retired for several years now and I think he was feeling without purpose. He still has days that he’s depressed and feels “rudderless”, but not as often these days. This past Sunday he helped take up the collections and was asked to lead the prayer and said a most heartfelt sweet prayer. I’m so proud of him.
I love this, Donna. The Lord gives us a beautiful family of faith to stand together and encourage one another with His love. I’m so glad you’re being blessed. Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary. God’s blessings!
Oh, Deb, reading this on your anniversary gave me chills. I have this sense of God smiling upon you as you pay it forward, even from the valley you are walking through. All glory to his name! Love you!
Thank you, dear Stacey. That is my prayer … all glory to His name! Blessings, hugs, and much love.
I love all the comments from the other ladies and heartily agree with all of them! Such a lovely list to implement into every day to bless our marriages. My heart goes out to you, as you had to celebrate your anniversary alone this year. May God comfort you, bless you, and may your memories fill your heart with warmth and joy of your beloved Rev. Thank you for sharing such wonderful insights with us. I wish there was more we could do to comfort you. You are in my prayers and thoughts, dear friend.
You all have truly blessed me today. What a wonderful group of friends. Your prayers and kind words of encouragement … and especially that you build me up with your testimonies of faith and love for the Lord. I am so very thankful for you all! God bless you, my dear sweet friend!