How to Teach Your Child to be Humble and Confident in a Competitive World
You want your children to be confident and successful. You want them to go into the world and fulfill their God-given purpose with passion and enthusiasm.
You help them fulfill their hopes and dreams because you want great things for them.
Where does humility fall on your list of things you want for them? And if it’s on the list, how in the world are you supposed to help them not become prideful while still encouraging them to be confident?
That’s the goal, isn’t it? A holy tension. The struggle you and I face every day in ourselves.
Humble and confident . . . knowing that every strength, talent, and ability is a gift to be used for God’s glory and every weakness is an opportunity to show God’s power to change.
So, how do you and I help our children in an area that we struggle with ourselves?
How to Teach Your Child to be Humble and Confident
in a Competitive World
1. Pray – ask God to help you and your child to be both humble and confident.
“Do not strive in your own strength; cast yourself at the feet of the Lord Jesus, and wait upon Him in the sure confidence that He is with you, and works in you. Strive in prayer; let faith fill your heart–so will you be strong in the Lord, and in the power of His might.” ~Andrew Murray
2. Teach them to show respect to everyone with a zero-tolerance for rudeness.
Live as free people, but do not use your freedom as an excuse to do evil. Live as servants of God. Show respect for all people: Love the brothers and sisters of God’s family, respect God, honor the king. 1 Peter 2:16–17
3. Teach them to listen to learn and understand other people’s perspectives and feelings.
My mom always asked me two questions after I had a disagreement with a friend.
1. Why do you think they were upset, said what they did, or acted that way?
2. How might you have handled it better?
“Every person that you meet knows something you don’t; learn from them.” ~H. Jackson Brown Jr.
4. Teach them to admit their mistakes and apologize; forgive them and teach them to forgive others.
Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so God can heal you. When a believing person prays, great things happen. James 5:16
Any good apology has 3 parts: 1) I’m sorry. 2) It’s my fault. 3) What can I do to make it right?” ~Unknown
5. Teach them to serve others by serving with them.
Each of you has received a gift to use to serve others. Be good servants of God’s various gifts of grace. 1 Peter 4:10
6. Teach them to be kind, have a zero-tolerance for cruelty and bullying.
When you talk, you should always be kind and pleasant so you will be able to answer everyone in the way you should. Colossians 4:6
“Kindness is more than deeds. It is an attitude, an expression, a look, a touch. It is anything that lifts another person.” ~Unknown
7. Teach them to always do their best . . . whether they win or lose do everything to glorify God.
So whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God. 1 Corinthians 10:31
8. Teach them to try, allow them to fail and encourage them to try again . . . life itself is often the best teacher of humility.
“Become a possibilitarian. No matter how dark things seem to be or actually are, raise your sights and see possibilities — aways see them, for they’re always there.” ~Norman Vincent Peale
9. Teach them about strengths and weaknesses . . . talk about yours (they see them anyway) and help them identify theirs.
Don’t be afraid, for I am with you. Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand. Isaiah 41:10
10. Model for them the things you are trying to teach them.
Show them humility. Show them confidence. Show them how to respect everyone no matter who they are or what they do. Show them the importance of kindness and listening to others. Show them the blessing of service. Show them the importance of trying when it would be easier to quit. Show them your faith and love for the One who made them for His plans and purposes.
Finally, remember…
You are not doing this humble and confident thing perfectly and your children are not going to get it right all the time either. It is something they, like you, will have to work at for the rest of their lives.
But…
You can teach them.
And the best part, you can’t teach them without learning and growing yourself. God will use this in your life.
Don’t give up. Teaching your children about humble confidence is an important way to love them well.
“I find the best way to love someone is not to change them, but instead, help them reveal the greatest version of themselves.” ~Steve Maraboli
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Deb, I’m enjoying this series on humility. I think these are all great points on how to teach our children humility. #10 is especially important! I think kids model what they see more than anything else.
Hope you have a great day!
Thanks, Dawn! I agree. You can’t teach them humility if they don’t see it in you. Of course, none of us do it perfectly but if they can see our honest desire to honor the Lord with our lives there is hope! Blessings, my friend!
This is great, Deb! I love the quote about an apology having three parts. Accepting responsibility is key. That’s where the humility comes in.
Thank you, Dianne! Yes, “I’m sorry you’re angry” is not an apology. 🙂 Blessings to you!
Teach them about strengths and weaknesses… that’s such an important one, when we can show them those things in our own lives and how God is faithful in both, they get to see an honest but powerful testimony, don’t they?
Glad I stopped by today, Deb. Great post for all the families out there trying to make their way.
Christine, I’m so glad you stopped by too! Thank you for your encouragement! It does help to know that everyone has both strengths and weaknesses. Helping them know how to function with both is a great way to help them grow.
#10 is a zinger. We’ve got to show them that all of this works in real life. He gives us grace, too! Thanks for the great parenting thoughts.
So thankful for grace, Michele! I need it in abundance! Blessings, my friend!
I think this is an awesome post and applies even for us when we are adults. Thanks so much for sharing this. Thanks for the linkup too!! Have an awesome weekend!!
Thank you, Judith! Pride and selfishness are always fighting to take over. I think humility is something we have to work at every day of our lives. Hope your weekend is full of blessings!
This is an excellent post, Deb! These 10 are the cream of the crop of instruction. I so appreciate the evidence of your wisdom in this! Thanks so much! I always enjoy your writing!
Blessings on you!
Pam
Oh, Pam. Thank you so much for your kind encouragement. You bless me! Have a wonderful weekend!
Wise and wonderful words for parents and grandparents alike! Thanks for this inspiration, Deb, and have a wonderful weekend!
Thank you, Martha! Your faithful encouragement is such a blessing to me.
What a great list for teaching our kids, Deb!
Allowing them to fail… this one is hard but so good!
Sharing this one all around today~
Blessings,
Melanie
It is hard to let them fail and then face the consequences. But they learn. And so do we. Some of my greatest times of growth have come out of failures. Thanks Melanie! You bless me my friend!
This is such a good word for mommies and non-mommies alike. Thanks, Deb
Thank you Lyli! Enjoy a wonderful weekend!
Loved this, Deb. It is such a tension . . . and not always easy to figure out how to mesh the two qualities even when both are essential. Definitely keeping this in my arsenal of tips to remember.
Thank you, Abi! It is hard and of course, looking back I can see things I might have tried something else. But that’s learning from experience and I’m always thankful that it’s all covered by God’s grace and mercy. Enjoy a wonderful weekend!
Thank you so much for sharing my post here Deb! It was such a blessing to see it when I came to your post today! I love what you wrote about humble confidence! I’m reading Jerry Bridges, The Blessing of Humility and learning a lot about humility. I always feel like I learn so much wisdom when I read your posts! Thank you!
Your so welcome, Valerie! I loved your marriage tips. I’ve learned so much this month about humility. I’m thankful it blessed you too! There are so many parts of life that get complicated when I think about applying a humble attitude. LIke so much of our faith lives it’s easier to talk about than apply. Praying to get better at doing over talking. Blessings my friend!
We can still learn a few things here. Still applies to adults, I say. 🙂
Thanks and happy weekend, Deb!
Amen, Lux! I think so too! At least I need the reminder . . . everyday!
Thanks for letting me know about the link party, Deb!
Thanks for coming over and joining us, Shannon!
Thank you for sharing!! These points are excellent! I pride myself on trying to teach my children to humble and caring in a world that can sometimes be cruel. I will def be putting these points in my back pocket, especially the last one … live the way you want your kids to be … be the example!
That’s the goal, Jaclyn. So, thankful for God’s grace and my children’s forgiveness when I’m not the example I know I should be. Thanks so much for joining us and for stopping to say ‘hi’.
I just found your blog thanks to Pinterest pairing us up as a match! Thanks Pinterest! Great article!
Thank you, Donna! Yay for Pinterest! I’m looking forward to getting to know you!
Deb,
I am sitting down with my kiddos and using this list as a conversation guide! Although my husband and I have these goals, as you say, we are a work in progress! Thank you so much for this wonderful resource! I can’t wait to share this!
Hugs,
Lori
Thanks Lori! Your kind encouragement means so much to me! Blessings to you!
Thanks for sharing such wisdom, Deb! I’m encouraged to keep modeling for them and teaching them while trusting God to work on their hearts. I’ll definitely be pinning this to return to again.
Thank you, Carlie! I agree completely! The most important thing is asking God and trusting Him to work on our children’s hearts. Blessings!
Deb, I was just thinking about you yesterday, and planning to visit you today. So glad we’re linkup buddies this morning. 🙂 Such wise words here, thank you for this list. The one I think I struggle most with is letting them fail. Well, maybe not letting them fail, but watching them fail. I give advice, and that’s the best I can do (with my adult children), the choices are theirs, and it’s hard to watch them fall. I guess all we can do is to be there for them when they get back up. Thanks for sharing, Deb. Good to see you. 🙂 xoxo
I agree, Brenda! That one is hard for me too! I hated watching them get knocked down by life, but oh my, we learn that way don’t we? I’m sure I’ve learned more through my failures than my successes. It would just be so lovely if our children didn’t have to. 🙂 Blessings!
That’s BEAUTIFUL ???? lifting each other up! Thanks for the wonderful examples, scriptures, and inspiration. ????
Thank you, Kendra! I’m so glad it blessed you! I appreciate your visit and that you took the time to say hello. God bless you!