Important Truth about Submission that Will Surprise You

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Whenever I see something about this on social media, I wonder how many people know the truth about submission.

I’d like you to imagine for a minute that you’ve arranged everything so you can be away from your family overnight. You drive to the retreat center, check in, and greet your friends when you find out that the topic for the retreat is BIBLICAL SUBMISSION!

Do you grab your bags, turn around, and run for the car … or hang around out of curiosity?

I was a little concerned the ladies arriving at our Women’s Retreat would choose the former as I was the designated speaker for the weekend.

Seriously, who volunteers to speak on the “truth about submission?”

Self-empowerment seems to be culture’s message and any discussion contrary to that is quickly shut down and disregarded. Many consider submission to be an out-of-date cultural norm that no longer applies.

I hope you’ll keep reading to the end because the women who stayed around for the retreat said they were glad they stayed. They even asked me to teach it again to our Sunday Morning Bible Class so they could invite their husbands.

Based on the words of Scripture and 50+ years of marriage, I’d like to share what I believe to be the truth about submission.

1. Biblically speaking, women are not the only intended target audience.

Too often teachers and preachers begin with…

Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22 (NIV)

But what about the important verse that comes before?

Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:21

I like the New Living Translation of verse 22…

For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:22

You can tell Paul was just getting started. He goes on to say to husbands…

For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up His life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word.

Ephesians 5:25–26

As I told the ladies that weekend, it’s much easier to submit to someone who consistently treats you with Christ-like love … someone who loves sacrificially. It feels natural to trust a husband who strives to love and care for his family as the Lord directs.

The loving submission God desires is only possible when both husband and wife make loving the Lord and submitting to Him their highest priority.

True submission is humbling ourselves before the Father, modeling our Savior, and saying…

“Yet I want Your will to be done, not mine.” – Matthew 26:39

When both husband and wife want God’s will to be done and work together to honor and glorify Him in all they do and say … showing respect and love to each other becomes the daily goal. And when they miss the goal … forgiving quickly restores the day.

That’s the truth about submission in marriage. It is a couple working together to honor the Lord by loving and caring for each other and their family as He directs. It’s not a master and servant model but a Christ and the church model.

For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church.

Ephesians 5:23

Let’s pray…

A Prayer to Live the Truth About Submission
with Love and Respect

Father God, Your Word tells us to submit to one another in love. It tells husbands to love sacrificially modeling the love of Christ Jesus. When a husband loves like that wives naturally trust them and join them in submitting to You.

Please forgive our pride and selfishness. We struggle with the sinful desire to be in charge and have things done according to our will and desires. We foolishly believe we’re right without seeking Your will for us. I know I’m guilty and humbly ask You to forgive me.

Father, I want to love like Jesus and I know that is only possible through my complete surrender to the power of Your Spirit in my life. Please help me. Please bless my relationships and guide me with Your love. And by Your grace, please help me live the truth about submission. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

I like this definition of submission at Crosswalk.com…

Submitting means putting others before yourself; it means not always doing what you want to do. It means putting God’s desires above your desires.

True submission in marriage is not relenting to oppression. It’s two people willingly loving and caring about the other person’s best interests and needs.

The good news and truth about submission is that we don’t have to deny who God created us to be, we just need to surrender ourselves to God who created us and intentionally work for the common good living for His glory.

I think this quote from William Temple says it well…

“Worship is the submission of all our nature to God. It is the quickening of conscience by His holiness; the nourishment of mind with His truth; the purifying of imagination by His Beauty; the opening of the heart to His love; the surrender of will to His purpose – and all of this gathered up in adoration, the most selfless emotion of which our nature is capable and therefore the chief remedy for that self-centeredness which is our original sin and the source of all actual sin.” ~ William Temple

When we do that in our relationships … we are blessed to enjoy the love and care the Lord wants for us.

May He bless you and give you everything you need to work together and live submitted to His perfect love.

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