Category Archives: Seek God’s Will

6 of the Best Ways to Calm Back to School Anxiety

Back to school anxiety is normal for students, parents, and teachers. There are helpful things you can do to prepare and start the year with less stress. #schooltips #firstdayofschool #anxietyrelief #prayer #planning #schoolplanning #teachers

Does it feel like the summer passed by in a blink? Our summer break was shortened because of last year’s numerous snow days. So, it seems even harder to believe that it’s time … already!

Whether you’ve taken your first day of school photos or you have a few more days or weeks of anticipation … going back to school can be stressful and filled with apprehension.

I’ve experienced back to school anxiety as a student, teacher, and parent; so, I thought I might be able to share a few tips for calming back to school anxiety and help you can begin the year with as little stress as possible.

The fact that everyone is feeling a little anxious shouldn’t surprise us…

Students are Wondering…

  • Will I make friends?
  • Will I like my teachers?
  • Will my teachers like me?
  • Am I smart enough?
  • Will I get bullied?
  • Will kids make fun of me?
  • Will I get lost?
  • How much homework will I have?
  • Will I miss the bus?
  • Will I be bored?
  • Will I make the team, the choir, or get a part in the play?
  • Will I like school?

Parents are Wondering…

  • Will my children like their teachers?
  • Will their teachers like them?
  • Will they get a good teacher?
  • Will they succeed academically?
  • Will they make friends easily?
  • Will they make the team, the choir, or be chosen for the play?
  • How many extra activities are too many?
  • How can I make sure they get enough sleep?
  • Will they eat a good lunch?
  • Will my child get bullied?
  • Will they be happy?

And Teachers are Wondering…

  • Will my students like me?
  • Will my students respect me?
  • How many authority challengers will I have in my class?
  • How many learning challenged students will I have?
  • What can I do to keep their attention?
  • Will this year’s staff be helpful and supportive?
  • Will I have enough time to get everything done?
  • Will my family suffer as I try to do it all?
  • Will I be an effective motivator?

Whew! And it’s possible I missed the thing that’s making you or your child the most anxious.

After years of coping with my own apprehension, nerves, and questions while also trying to calm my children as they struggled with back to school anxiety … I created a list of tips I believe will make the transition back to school a little less stressful and more enjoyable for everyone involved.

Back to school anxiety is normal for students, parents, and teachers. There are helpful things you can do to prepare and start the year with less stress. #schooltips #firstdayofschool #anxietyrelief #prayer #planning #schoolplanning #teachers

6 of the Best Ways for Calming Back to School Anxiety

1. Talk About School Positively

It’s fine to say you’ll miss the extra time you’ve enjoyed this summer as you reminisce about all the fun you’ve shared; but as you do, remind yourself and your child of the things you enjoy about the school year, too. Talk about sporting events and concerts, seeing their friends every day, and the new things you will learn together.

Be positive and enthusiastic.

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 

Philippians 4:8

2. Get a Little One on One Time

Maybe it’s a little school shopping or a lunch or ice cream date. Take an hour or two for alone time with each child going back to school. A time to talk about what they’re looking forward to as well as what they’re not.

“Affirming words from moms and dads are like light switches. Speak a word of affirmation at the right moment in a child’s life and it’s like lighting up a whole room full of possibilities.” ~ Gary Smalley

Just listen and affirm their feelings. Don’t be quick to have an answer or solve things for them.

Then you’ll be ready to…

3. Help Your Child Problem Solve

When you know the things making your child anxious, you’re ready to start helping them plan and prepare ways they might react if some of them happen. Ask questions, “How do you think you could react in that situation?” or “What do you think is the best thing to do if that happens?”

You might even share some stories from your own childhood … things that worked and things that didn’t!

“Thirty years ago my older brother, who was ten years old at the time, was trying to get a report written on birds that he’d had three months to write, which was due the next day. We were out at our family cabin in Bolinas, and he was at the kitchen table close to tears, surrounded by binder paper and pencils and unopened books about birds, immobilized by the hugeness of the task ahead. Then my father sat down beside him put his arm around my brother’s shoulder, and said, “Bird by bird, buddy. Just take it bird by bird.”  ~ Anne Lamott

That’s some good advice!

4. Prepare and Organize

Teachers are busy planning, organizing, and preparing . . . parents and students can do the same.

Start by setting goals for your family’s schedule. Make a list of possible meals to make when you’re short on time. Have your children help set up a homework space, and work on a central information station to keep the never-ending stack of papers and busy schedules organized.

“Always plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.” ~Richard Cushing

Noah was trusting God and following His plans…

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding. Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:5–6

5. Ease into the New Schedule

Start adjusting bedtime and gradually move wake up time … especially for younger children. Begin the week before school starts and try to move the time ahead in 15-minute increments as needed.

Gradual change will make the adjustment easier. And encouraging more sleep and a healthy diet will help everyone manage their feelings of stress and anxiety in more positive ways.

And remember…

Aim for success, not perfection. Never give up your right to be wrong, because then you will lose the ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism.” ~ David M. Burns

Give yourself and your children grace when you miss the goal today. Just don’t give up! You can always try again tomorrow!

6. PRAY

Pray for your children, their friends, and their teachers.

Pray they will be kind and patient, healthy and protected, wise and understanding.

Ask God to equip them for any challenges they face and to help them stand strong when they’re faced with temptation.

Ask the Lord to place people around them who will encourage them to honor Him and grow in faith.

Ask Him to bless each classroom with a healthy environment for learning; one that is encouraging and filled with respect.

Pray with your child.

Encourage him/her to take every concern and anxious thought to God and assure them that they can trust Him to give them the courage and strength they need each day.

“Our prayers may be awkward. Our attempts may be feeble. But since the power of prayer is in the one who hears it and not in the one who says it, our prayers do make a difference.” – Max Lucado

And encourage them to memorize…

Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.

And…

I can do all things through Christ, because He gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13 and 1 Peter 5:7
Back to school anxiety is normal for students, parents, and teachers. There are helpful things you can do to prepare and start the year with less stress. #schooltips #firstdayofschool #anxietyrelief #prayer #planning #schoolplanning #teachers

I’m praying for you and your families today … asking God to calm your back to school anxiety and bless the year ahead!

And you need to know … these things apply if you homeschool, too! Adding teacher to your role of parent needs a whole lot of patience, preparation and prayer.

You may want to check out:

5 Verses to Pray for Your Son to be Strong, Courageous, and Wise
5 Verses to Pray for Your Daughter’s Spiritual Sensitivity and Growth

Thank you so much for joining me today.

It would bless me so much if you’d take a moment to subscribe to Counting My Blessings so you never miss an update!

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God’s Love Is the Only Thing that Will Stop the Hate

The media wants us to believe hate is winning and we need to be afraid but the truth is God's love is greater and with His help, we can stop hate. #RacialEquality #LoveYourNeighbor #ChooseLove #God'sLove #EndHate #StopHate

I had another post written for today but…

Yesterday morning after church, my Bible study time included 1 Corinthians 13.

If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.

v. 2–3

All I could think about was the shooting in El Paso, Saturday morning.

I was at our local Wal Mart at the exact time that shooting was taking place in Texas.

The store was mobbed with people. I couldn’t even maneuver my cart down the school supplies aisles as parents and children were preparing for the new school year while taking advantage of Tax-Free Weekend.

And I found myself smiling my way through the store. 1. Because I remember the angst and excitement we felt as our children prepared for the year ahead. 2. Because I love my community. People of all races, ethnicities, and backgrounds smiling and chatting with each other.

No, I don’t live in some small town where everyone knows each other. I live in an eastern suburb of Kansas City.

I feel safe here.

But the people of El Paso felt safe as they started shopping too. And the people of Dayton felt safe as they went out with friends Saturday night.

Until they weren’t.

And my heart is breaking!

I believe with God’s help, people are better than this! However, if you watch the news or listen to the presidential candidates all you hear is how much hate there is in this country!

They say we need to stop hate but…

The problem is, for the most part, people are pointing fingers and blaming others.

And the other problem is their solutions won’t change anything!

Because hate is a heart issue that comes from fear and those who talk about it the most are doing everything they can to continue to stoke fear.

The only thing truly able to stop hate and fear is God’s love!

The media wants us to believe hate is winning and we need to be afraid but the truth is God's love is greater and with His help, we can stop hate. #RacialEquality #LoveYourNeighbor #ChooseLove #God'sLove #EndHate #StopHate

This is what the Bible says about love…

God is love!

1 John 4:8

This is how much God loves humanity…

God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.

1 John 4:9–10

And this is how love looks…

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7

This weekend’s events happened after a personal spiritual high we experienced just the day before.

Friday morning, Rev and I had a visit with Matt, from Samaritan’s Purse. We sat for over an hour and talked about the ways we have seen God at work in our lives. We talked about ministry and the ways God is pouring out His love through people around the world.

Matt is back in the states after serving with Samaritan’s Purse at relief and refugee centers in Hanoi, Afghanistan, Greece, and a few others I can’t remember.

He told us about homes being rebuilt and lives being changed, encouragement and support being offered to refugees and military families, and shoeboxes that give children not only a moment of happiness but hope and faith through the message of Jesus.

And many of these things are happening both internationally and domestically.

Then on Friday afternoon, we went to the closing program for Camp Kanakuk, Kamp Out! Day Kamp, to celebrate with our grandson. We watched more than a hundred children enthusiastically bubble over with the love of God.

The following is from Kanakuk’s about page:

KampOut! is a 1-Week high energy, non-stop excitement, traveling Christian day camp experience from Kanakuk for 5 to 12 year olds! Every KampOut! Kamper will see and hear that God is a loving Father and wonderful Creator who loves them and desires for us to love others. 

And that is the truth!

God is a loving Father and wonderful Creator who loves us so much He sent Jesus and desires us to share that love with others.

Love that is patient and kind! Love that never loses faith and is always hopeful! A love that is able to stop hate!

And that is my message to myself and to you today!

I refuse to become fearful! I will stand on the truth of God’s Word and believe that God’s love is more powerful than the hate the enemy is trying to grow. Friend, he has already lost the war … Jesus is the victorious Lamb of God seated on the throne.

And yet today, until He returns—the spiritual battle is real. But even in the battle, I will choose to remember…

“Don’t be afraid!” Elisha told him. “For there are more on our side than on theirs!” Then Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!”

2 Kings 6:16–17

May the Lord open our eyes to see and know…

  1. He is with us.
  2. He is fighting for us.
  3. His love never fails.

Will you please pray with me?

Father, our hearts are hurting. We grieve with the families and communities touched by these senseless acts of violence. Please be their Comforter. Hold them close and surround them with Your love.

Lord, please forgive us. Our country needs You.

Your Word says,

If my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

Please forgive us. We call evil good and good evil. We have taken our eyes off of You and looked for worldly answers for soul problems. Please heal and restore us through Your love.

Help us to see every person we meet as a person who is dearly loved and precious to You. Remove skepticism and fear and fill us with Your love. Help us see people as You see them.

Father, give us eyes to see what You are doing. Make us aware of the wonderful ways You are working in and through Your children every day. We are not alone! You are with us … guiding and helping.

Jesus said,

“I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”

Matthew 28:20

Fix our eyes, our thoughts, our hearts on Jesus … the One who began our faith and who gives us everything we need to live with love today and every day until we see You face to face.

In His name. By Your grace and for Your glory, I pray. Amen.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

It would bless me so much if you’d take a moment to subscribe to Counting My Blessings so you never miss an update!

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And always remember – I LOVE hearing from you! So, please take a minute to say ‘hi’ by leaving a comment. 

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Important Things to Do When You Need to Be Patient

You and I are always waiting for something and it's hard to be patient when the wait gets long. Here are some do's and don'ts that will help. #PatienceQuotes #BePatient #Faith #Howto

How are you doing with the whole patience thing?

I think consistently practicing patience is one of life’s most difficult challenges.

Whether I’m waiting in a long check out line, stuck in a doctor’s waiting room or anxious for the results of medical tests, dealing with an irritating individual or waiting for the answer to a long prayed request … exercising patience is hard.

It’s something I used to pray for until I realized the Lord doesn’t magically infuse patience into us – He typically chooses to teach us the benefits of patience by giving us opportunities to use it.

And those lessons in practicing patience although they have not been something I’ve enjoyed, I have learned that with God’s help I can remain calm and positive when I’m stuck in a challenging foot-tapping wait.

The truth is, you and I are always waiting for something. Always.

You may be waiting for…

  • a baby to be born.
  • school to start.
  • a relationship to be restored.
  • an important phone call.
  • a job or promotion.
  • healing.
  • the kids to go to bed.
  • someone who’s running late.
  • a celebration.
  • Friday.

The list could go on and on, couldn’t it?

Some things are relatively easy to wait for but others…

Are downright frightening.

So. why would God, through the Apostle Paul, tell us to be patient?

Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.

Romans 12:12

I believe it’s because He is waiting with us. We are not alone!

Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.

Joshua 1:9b

And…

Be sure of this: I am with you always, even to the end of the age.

Matthew 28:20b

Because of the Lord’s presence, you and I can say…

I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13

Even be patient when everything within us is screaming, “I can’t do this!”

If you’re like me, you could really use some practical do’s and don’ts to help when you’re in a season of waiting or suffering.

So, I thought you might like to know the things I’ve found helpful and those that definitely were not…

You and I are always waiting for something and it's hard to be patient when the wait gets long. Here are some do's and don'ts that will help. #PatienceQuotes #BePatient #Faith #Howto

Things to avoid when you need to be patient...

Don’t Panic

Some waits are exciting but when you and I are waiting on news, or a job, or financial help … it can feel like the air is being sucked out of the room, making it hard to breathe. But this time is temporary and I can tell you I’ve lost precious days due to completely unnecessary fear-filled worry.

Don’t Pout

It’s so tempting to whine and complain when the wait is long and life is hard. But that too doesn’t really help. Pouting just makes me more miserable and unpleasant to be around.

Don’t Plot

After panicking and pouting, I have past experience with plotting my strategy to fix things myself. Working to manipulate my circumstances to facilitate this thing I want that’s not happening fast enough.

Don’t Proceed

This is where I would tell God my plans and expect Him to get on board and make them happen. Moving ahead with plans is not in itself a problem … the problem here is that I’d been praying about my circumstances. I’d just grown impatient on God’s timing. But moving ahead when I sense I’m outside of His will for me never works out well in the long run.

And let me tell you, panicking, pouting, plotting, and proceeding on my own just made me difficult to live with . . . I didn’t even like myself very much.

Things to do when you need to be patient…

Do Pray

Always! In all circumstances!

Praise God in good times, and pour out your heart to Him when life is hard. 

Never stop praying.

1 Thessalonians 5:17

In His Word, God promises to hear us, to be with us, and to guide and direct us according to His perfect will. Those are things that can give us patience when everything in us wants to give up.

For the Lord your God is living among you.
    He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
    With his love, he will calm all your fears.
    He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”

Zephaniah 3:17

Do Practice Presence

Not only does God promise to be present with us but has given us each other to care and console, to just be there for each other when life is hard and the wait is long. He wants us to be connected … to listen, to hold, and to help.

Be happy with those who are happy, and weep with those who weep.

Romans 12:!5

And…

Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ.

Galatians 6:2

Do Prepare

Don’t give up. Live with faith and hope like you believe the wait is temporary and the answer is right around the corner.

Now may our Lord Jesus Christ Himself and God our Father, who loved us and by His grace gave us eternal comfort and a wonderful hope, comfort you and strengthen you in every good thing you do and say.

2 Thessalonaisn 2:16–17

Do Practice Peace

In all honesty, I can’t practice peace on my own … especially when I’m tempted to be impatient. But remember, the Lord promises His presence and that is the presence of His Holy Spirit. The Spirit of peace…

May the Lord of peace Himself give you His peace at all times and in every situation. The Lord be with you all.

2 Thessalonians 3:16

And praise God, He is willing to give us hard to explain or even understand peace one day at a time.

Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:7
You and I are always waiting for something and it's hard to be patient when the wait gets long. Here are some do's and don'ts that will help. #PatienceQuotes #BePatient #Faith #Howto

So, you can…

Be Patient!

I know, often living with patience seems like it is beyond our ability. And the truth … it is!

But…

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:13

And Paul says that as the answer to the following…

I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. 

Philippians 4:12

Whatever is going on, however long the wait with the Spirit’s help you and I can…

Praise God!

I will praise the Lord no matter what happens. I will constantly speak of His glories and grace. I will boast of all his kindness to me. Let all who are discouraged take heart. Let us praise the Lord together and exalt His name.

Psalm 34:1–3

With the Spirit’s help, maintaining hope, joy, and faith. And praise God, when it’s all said and done, that is the very definition of living with patience!

Thank you so much for joining me today.

It would bless me so much if you’d take a moment to subscribe to Counting My Blessings so you never miss an update!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

And always remember – I LOVE hearing from you! So, please take a minute to say ‘hi’ by leaving a comment. 

You can also…

Leave your prayer requests…

and stop to pray one or two of the requests listed.

If this article blessed or helped you today — would you share it with someone?

Send it to a friend, family member, coworker, or share it through the links below…

I’m asking God to bless you today!

5 Verses You Need to Pray Before You Speak Out

Every day the words we use are either building up or tearing apart our relationships. We need God's help! So, before you speak out...pray! #Prayer #Marriage #Friendship #Relationships

I think a lot about words!

Of course, I do. I’m a writer and as I said earlier this week … a talker. But it’s more than that…

Words of affirmation are my love language. Positive words fill my love tank and yes, negative words have the opposite effect.

Although not everyone feels the impact of words to the same degree I do; words are making and breaking relationships every single day.

Because … how we use words matters!

So much so that the Bible says:

The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences.

Proverbs 18:21

Life or death! And if not physical life or death, relationships in our homes, workplaces, neighborhoods, and churches are having life breathed into them or sucked out of them based on the words people use.

Every day you and I are living out the consequences of our own or someone else’s words.

I know it’s true because I live out the consequences of my own words way more often than I’d like.

I mean, I try. Really I do. But something I’m well aware of … I can’t control my words on my own. Without the Lord’s help, my less than ideal attitudes get in the way and keep me from consistently speaking the “life” words God wants.

So, I’m turning to God in prayer … asking Him to forgive my past, guide my future and help me choose my words in light of His grace that I might breathe life into my relationships and give Him glory.

Verses to Pray Before You Speak Out

Every day the words we use are either building up or tearing apart our relationships. We need God's help! So, before you speak out...pray! #Prayer #Marriage #Friendship #Relationships

“If you want to enjoy life and see many happy days, keep your tongue from speaking evil and your lips from telling lies. Turn away from evil and do good. Search for peace, and work to maintain it.” 

1 Peter 3:10–11

Father, forgive me. It’s so hard for me to faithfully and consistently control what I say. I can be quick to complain and lash out in anger. The world tells me lying is normal. Everyone does it. Everyone bends the truth to make life easier, don’t they? But Your Word clearly tells me to speak the truth in love and avoid using my words to speak evil . . . even if I’m repeating something spoken by someone else. Help me! I want to search for peace. I want to make every effort to maintain peace. Lord, I want to be someone You can use for peace.

A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare. Gentle words are a tree of life; a deceitful tongue crushes the spirit. 

Proverbs 15:1,4

Lord, Give me the self-control I need to choose my words carefully when I’m angry. Help me speak with words that work toward unity and understanding. Words that breathe life into my relationships. May I remember that people make assumptions about You based on the way Your children speak and act. Please forgive me for the times my words have been hurtful and with Your help, I will forgive those whose words have hurt me. Fill me so full of Your love that it overflows to the people around me.

Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and He will grant you His blessing. 

1 Peter 3:9

Father, this is so hard. It feels justifiable to fight back and defend hurtful insulting words. It’s just the world’s way, isn’t it? But Your Word tells me to offer a blessing … to respond to cruelty with kindness. It also tells me this is the way to Your blessings and my happiness. I want that. Help me, Father. Help us all through the love of Jesus.

Live wisely among those who are not believers, and make the most of every opportunity. Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

Colossians 4:5–6

Lord, make me winsome for You. My heart’s desire is to show people the greatness of Your love. Give me the words You want me to speak, words that give You glory . . . words that will help people who don’t know You have a desire to learn more about Your amazing grace and unfailing love. May they want to know Jesus.

Take control of what I say, O Lord,
    and guard my lips.

Psalm 141:3

Lord, make me sensitive to Your Spirit’s guidance. Bless me with wisdom to know when to control my tongue and the strength I need to do it. Help me know when to speak out and put Your hand over my mouth when I need to be still. I surrender my will to Your control and direction.

I will exalt you, my God and King,
    and praise Your name forever and ever.
I will praise You every day;
    yes, I will praise You forever.

Psalm 145:4–5

Father, please help me speak out for Your glory. May praise and worship be on the tip of my tongue. Please help me keep my heart and mind focused on You. Help me take captive every thought that turn my heart and mind to the things that cause me fear or anger. May I remember that You are with me in all circumstances. Thank You, Lord! I will trust You and praise You today and every day forever. By Your all-sufficient grace and for Your glory that lasts forever. Amen.

Every day the words we use are either building up or tearing apart our relationships. We need God's help! So, before you speak out...pray! #Prayer #Marriage #Friendship #Relationships

Before you speak out, remember…

Controlling our words can be the most challenging part of our Jesus following journey. No matter how hard you and I try, we will never come close to controlling our words the way God wants without His help.

But He has promised to help.

He forgives when we fail. He guides us through His Word and by the power of His Spirit. And He even helps us when controlling our words is the last thing we want to do.

Praise God! You and I have a Father who loves us so much, He not only cares about the details of our words but He’s willing to help us for our good and His glory.

He wants to help us speak out in faith and in love!

So, before you speak out … PRAY!

This Week’s Friday Favorites

Highlight Posts of the Week!

You Can't Live a Victorious Christian Life Alone by Jana Carlson @ Wield the Word

You Can’t Live a Victorious Christian Life Alone

by Jana Carlson
@ Wield the Word

How to Trust God When Bad Things Happen by Diane Ferreira @ Worth Beyond Rubies

How to Trust God When Bad Things Happen – My Stroke Story

by Diane Ferreira
@ Worth Beyond Rubies


AND the…

Faith ‘n Friends Link Party

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This is a place to share faith, make friends, and have fun.

I’d love to connect with you on social media!

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How to Be a Better Communicator and Bless Your Relationships

Conversations. Love them or hate them they're part of life. They can build up or destroy relationships which is why I want to be a better communicator. Here are 10 ways to bless your conversations. #RelationshipCommunication #CommunicationQuotes #CommunicationSkills #EffectiveCommunication

In my dreams, I’m winsome, witty, and engaging.

In my dreams, I’m the kind of person you’d want to sit and talk with for hours. And of course, I’m also an excellent listener who is emotionally supportive offering just the right balance of encouragement with wise advice.

But remember, I said, “in my dreams.”

In reality, all I can say is . . . I fall short of my dreams every day. I talk too much and listen to little. I struggle to let others finish their thoughts before jumping in. I tell myself I’m an active listener but in reality, I’m a talker!

This hit home the other day while I was on a Zoom call with some blogger friends. I told myself as I joined the call that I was going to listen more this time. But after the call was over, one of the gals sent us screenshots of our cute faces and in each one, the other gals were smiling and my mouth was moving.

I decided I needed a quick refresher course on how to be a better communicator/listener. Because…

Conversations. Love them or hate them they’re an essential part of life.

All day every day, you and I are leaving little pieces of ourselves behind through the verbal exchanges we have with family, friends, coworkers, and yes, even strangers.

And when we leave people feeling unheard, misunderstood, and less than valued … well, I can’t help but wonder how long it will be before they simply stop wanting to talk with us at all.

So, just in case you need a helpful reminder too, here are…

10 Ways to Be a Better Communicator and Bless Your Relationships

Conversations. Love them or hate them they're part of life. They can build up or destroy relationships which is why I want to be a better communicator. Here are 10 ways to bless your conversations. #RelationshipCommunication #EffectiveCommunication

1. Ask Open-ended Questions.

One of my favorite memories is of an evening I spent with a group of friends. We were just getting to know each other when Carmen asked, “I want to know more about you and why you write. What’s your testimony?“

Open-ended questions say … “I want to know you, not just about you … I want to know who you are and what makes you tick!”

Some of my favorite conversation starters are…

  • How did you meet your best friend or your spouse?
  • What’s your favorite way to spend time?
  • If you could travel anywhere in the world and money was no object, where would you go?
  • What’s one thing you wish more people knew about you?
  • Tell me 3 things about your day.

Asking questions people want to answer is important, but then it is equally important to…

2. Take a Genuine Interest in their Answers.

Put down your phone, face the person, and make eye contact. Listen attentively with kindness and compassion. And be open-minded to hearing beliefs and opinions that differ from yours.

I love this quote from Stephen Covey…

“When you really listen to another person from their point of view and reflect back to them that understanding, it’s like giving them emotional oxygen.”

3. Be Patient – Don’t Interrupt.

This one is so hard for me!

When I’m engaged in a good conversation I get excited and in my enthusiasm, I speak too quickly. I’m always trying to remember the importance of listening to understand rather than listening to reply.

“Recent research has indicated that the average individual listens for only seventeen seconds before interrupting and interjecting his own ideas.” ~Gary Chapman

Ooh, ouch! It looks like I have lots of company when it comes to interrupting. Maybe I’m not the only one who needs to work on being a better communicator.

4. Relax – Be Yourself

God created you for this time and place. He created you for your relationships . . . just the way you are.

There is something in you that is important to and for each of the people in your life. Do your best to be your best … but be yourself. Worry less about what someone thinks about you, by focusing your attention on them.

For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things He planned for us long ago.

Ephesians 2:10

5. Be Willing to Share Your Story – Be a Little Vulnerable

You don’t have to tell every little detail of your life but share your story. God is able to use your story to touch lives Something special happens when we open up and realize we may be more alike than we realized. Your willingness to share the time God helped you through a difficult or pulled you out of a “pit” may be just the thing your friend needs to hear today.

“Friendship … is born at the moment when one man says to another “What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . .” ~C.S.Lewis

7. Listen to Yourself

Think about the tone of your voice. Being a better communicator means agreeing enthusiastically and disagreeing calmly and quietly. Avoid sarcasm and exaggeration. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

Let your conversation be gracious and attractive so that you will have the right response for everyone.

Colossians 4:6
Conversations. Love them or hate them they're part of life. They can build up or destroy relationships which is why I want to be a better communicator. Here are 10 ways to bless your conversations. #RelationshipCommunication #CommunicationQuotes #CommunicationSkills #EffectiveCommunication

8. Control Your Emotions

Although it’s true, you can’t control your feelings, it is equally true that you can control how you act on those feelings if you choose to. Stay open and sensitive to the other person’s feelings, but not too easily hurt yourself.

Strive to be unoffensive and un-offendable. 

A person with good sense is patient, and it is to his credit that he overlooks an offense.

Proverbs 19:11

“The real art of conversation is not only to say the right thing at the right place but to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment.” ~ Dorothy Nevill

9. Apologize When Necessary

I make conversation mistakes often. I don’t listen to others the way I want to, I’m easily distracted, and I speak way too quickly.

I’ve also learned to say “I’m sorry, please forgive me.”

“Real apologies start in the heart, express themselves through words, and culminate in actions.” ~Anonymous

I will continue to work on the “culminating in actions” part by always striving with God’s help to do better in the future.

10. Always Choose Love

We’re all sinners who have said and done things we shouldn’t. 

So, it’s important for us to be slow to judge or criticize because we are more likely to point people to the truth of God’s love with a kind example and a caring heart than we are through words that communicate harsh correction and criticism.

When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you.

Ephesians 4:29

I am so thankful God allows us to connect with each other through conversation. I especially love that now through screen and keyboard we can interact with people all over the world.

Which means that beyond face to face conversations … our online chats and posted comments are key to communicating and getting to know one another.

So, I want to leave you with one more thought…

May we be as careful with our on-line conversations as we are when sitting with someone across the table? Because as followers of Jesus … what we say in person or put out there on-line influences what others think of Him.

We can’t control all the crazy dialogue that’s out there but we can control how we participate.

Do not do wrong to repay a wrong, and do not insult to repay an insult. But repay with a blessing, because you yourselves were called to do this so that you might receive a blessing.

1 Peter 3:9

And that just may lead to the blessing of a new or restored friendship.

One of the ways I’m trying to do better is by asking myself the following before I speak…

Is it true? Is it kind? Is it necessary? 

And…

Is it helpful?

I know I can do better.

Maybe you are working on doing better too.

There is good news!

Praise God! As long as we’re breathing, it’s not too late. You and I can become better communicators and bless our relationships.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

It would bless me so much if you’d take a moment to subscribe to Counting My Blessings so you never miss an update!

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How to Have a Perspective that will Make You Happy

How to Have a Perspective that will Make You Happy - Everyone views life through a self-defined ME filter but the only thing that will make you happy is to look at life with a godly perspective. #Faith #Love #Perspective #BeHappy

One of Rev’s favorite questions to ask a new Bible Class is…

“Name the one person you think about the most?“

It’s okay … you can take a minute to think about it.

Most moms believe they think about their children most.
Occasionally spouses will indicate they think about their husband or wife most.
Maybe it’s a friend, someone you’re dating, a parent, or someone else.

After a few minutes of thought and discussion, Rev always answered the same way.

“NOPE! It’s none of those people. If you’re completely honest … the person you think about the most is … YOU!”

Each time the room immediately filled with nervous laughter and nodding heads.

We can’t help it!

You and I filter every thought, every interaction, every detail of our lives … through the filter of “ME!”

How does this affect me? What do they think about me? Will I succeed? How do I look? What will I do? Will this project go well? Will my children make me proud or embarrass me? Will I ..?

It’s normal! Just a part of life that has touched every person on the planet since Adam and Eve were banished from the Garden.

That’s the thing about sin and self-focused thinking…

It makes us miserable.

It’s our non-stop thinking about ourselves that leads to worry, anxiety, selfishness, anger, pride, etc. All those things that leave us distressed and discontented.

But it doesn’t have to be that way.

The One who created you knows you.

You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
    and knit me together in my mother’s womb.

Psalm 139:13

He made you for His plans and purposes.

You were made by God for this time and place in His story!

And He didn’t just create you to leave you to figure it all out on your own. The Lord is fully aware of the experiences that have and will influence your life.

You go before me and follow me.
    You place Your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand.

Psalm 139:5–6

Who God created you to be and the experiences He allows become your lens (how you perceive) and your filter (how you process) your life.

And simply put … how you and I process and perceive our life experiences formulate our perceptions, our views, and opinions. They affect the way we react, the way we touch others, the way we LIVE.

That’s the truth we live with and it’s not bad … it just is.

Which is how Rev could know that everyone in any room thinks about themselves more than they think about anyone else.

So, what do we do with all of those ME thoughts without letting them get out of hand?

Everyone views life through a self-defined ME filter but the only thing that will make you happy is to look at life with a godly perspective. #Faith #Love #Perspective #BeHappy

5 Things You Can Do to Have a Perspective that will Make You Happy

♥ Surrender Your Thoughts to God.

I know when I spend time focused on my appearance, my stuff, my social media footprint, my failures or successes … on me, I am setting myself up for a pretty miserable day.

And it’s in those moments, I want to hear the Lord whisper…

“Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest.”

Matthew 11:28

How awesome is it that Jesus invites us to bring all the “stuff” of life to Him? He will help us carry the things that burden us so we can enjoy peace and joy.

And just in case you need to see the promise…

You will keep in perfect peace
    all who trust in You,
    all whose thoughts are fixed on You!

Isaiah 26:3

♥ Ask God to help you seek and trust Him.

I’ve chosen the word “SEEK” as my forever word. It’s based on Luke 12:31

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

You see, for far too many years I doubted that verse. Oh, I believed in Jesus for my eternal future but I didn’t believe He was able to give me strength if the struggle was too great or courage if I was afraid of the path before me.

He graciously and patiently showed me the truth of His “nothing is impossible” love. A love we can trust today, tomorrow, and forever.

♥ Ask God for His help to love others well.

It’s hard to love others the way God wants me to when I’m constantly filtering their words and actions to a filter of “ME.”

Jesus told His followers:

“I am giving you a new commandmenst; Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other.”

John 13:34

It’s not a request. It’s a command.

But loving like Jesus doesn’t mean failing to set aside time for rest. It doesn’t mean saying “yes” to everyone and everything.

I believe loving like Jesus means we will:

  • be forgiving.
  • be kind and compassionate.
  • be humble.
  • and love unconditionally.

I also know I can’t love like Jesus without His help. I need wisdom, discernment, strength, courage, and a whole lot less of “ME” thinking if I’m ever going to love others the way He commands.

How to Have a Perspective that will Make You Happy - Everyone views life through a self-defined ME filter but the only thing that will make you happy is to look at life with a godly perspective. #Faith #Love #Perspective #BeHappy

♥ Ask God to help you do what you can and leave the rest to Him.

Although I know I’m supposed to do all of this one day at a time, I’m guilty of way too much past and future thinking.

I can overthink the things I’ve said and done and what people think about the things I’ve said and done. I can stress about what I’ll say and do in the future and what people will think about what I say and do in the future. And I can too often live my present influenced by the lens of “ME” based on the past and in anticipation of the future.

Yes, I’m a recovering people-pleaser with a long way to go.

And from the looks of my social media feed, I’m not alone!

But Paul wrote:

Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.

Romans 12:2

I believe that as I surrender to the Lord, He will continue to transform me.

And that transformation includes changing my lens … my perspective.

Remembering that it’s not about “ME!”

I currently need a new pair of eyeglasses.

I have my new prescription but I can’t find a new frame that I like as well as the ones I have.

And maybe that’s part of the problem with our “Me” filters. We know we need to surrender to God’s transforming grace but we’re just having trouble giving up our old way of looking at things … it’s comfortable and we’re a little worried that we won’t like the new ones as well.

But imagine the view, the perspective the Lord wants to give us. Imagine the clear beautiful way we could view things if we would just let Him help us filter our lives through His Word and promises.

Just imagine…

How beautiful life might look if you allowed the Lord to change your perspective.

Who knows, it might even make you happy!

Thank you so much for joining me today.

It would bless me so much if you’d take a moment to subscribe to Counting My Blessings so you never miss an update!

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And always remember – I LOVE hearing from you! So, please take a minute to say ‘hi’ by leaving a comment. 

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Leave your prayer requests…

and stop to pray one or two of the requests listed.

If this article blessed or helped you today — would you share it with someone?

Send it to a friend, family member, coworker, or share it through the links below…

I’m asking God to bless you today!

5 Things You Can Do that will Leave a Legacy Blessing

Simply stated, a legacy is something that is handed down from one generation to the next.

Originally, it was thought of as property, wealth, or other personal property that is left to descendants or heirs.

But over the years leaving a legacy has come to mean anything left behind … how you and I will be remembered.

I like that because it place the emphasis on values over valuables.

I’d like to invite you to welcome my friend, Nicki Schroeder, today, as she shares her thoughts on the basic ways you and I can leave a legacy of blessing as we touch the people around us with the things we value most.

Welcome, Nicki! We’re so glad you’re here!

You and I will leave a legacy ... anything from values to valuables. Here are 5 simple things you can do to make sure you leave a legacy of blessing. #Leavealegacy #Faith #Freedom #Blessings

What type of legacy do you want to leave for future generations?

Lately I have felt pretty defeated when it comes to the idea of leaving a legacy.

We can’t have kids naturally, which makes the whole leaving things behind to people hard! At one point we decided to adopt three siblings ages 2, 4 and 6. But after a year and a half process, the adoption failed due to a lot of unethical insanity in the system. As a result, we also decided to close the door on future adoption opportunities.

So what possible legacy can I leave in my situation? I have no kids, no plans for future kids. I have lots of stuff and a will that’s designed to get rid of all the things when we leave this world.

Is leaving a legacy behind just about leaving people your stuff?

Have you heard the song from Casting Crowns called “Only Jesus?” It talks about how it’s not about the stuff we leave behind in this world, but the imprint of Jesus that lasts in the people we meet on this earth. Oh how I desire to leave a strong imprint on others!

I’m doing this cool Bible study with a group of ladies from my church called “Keys to Freedom” from Nancy Alcorn.

If you grew up in an abusive or dysfunctional home, it’s totally a study worth looking into. It talks about how all the icky stuff from our childhood leaves an imprint on our lives and we pass that stuff along to the people we meet daily, unless we make the choice to let all the bad stuff go and find freedom in Christ from our past hurts.

You and I will leave a legacy ... anything from values to valuables. Here are 5 simple things you can do to make sure you leave a legacy of blessing. #Leavealegacy #Faith #Freedom #Blessings

Don’t you want freedom from past hurts and to live free in Christ Jesus?

Of course you do. We all do. But we keep our schedules too busy and our minds too active to just rest in the Lord and heal the hurts from our past. And if you also happen to have a present-day relationship with someone who adds to your pile of hurts, the emotional baggage keeps adding up and weighing you down. We all need to choose freedom!

“So if the son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” John 8:36

Leaving a legacy of freedom!

So back to the legacy thing. After a lot of prayer and thought, this is the legacy I choose to leave this world –

  • I want people to know that I am a woman who passionately loves Jesus!
  • I want to put God first above all else, even when pressure comes from others to knock Him down the list.
  • I want my love for Jesus lived out through my compassion for others, especially in their times of need.
  • I desire peace in my daily life and choose to spread peace to others.
  • I want to serve others well and do my best to give out grace in abundance to those who do me harm.
  • I choose to forgive those who hurt me, even the ones who aren’t sorry for the pain they have caused.

I think it so important for us to remember that even our desire to leave a Godly legacy comes with healthy, firm boundaries to ensure others don’t take advantage of our Kingdom-focused hearts.

You and I will leave a legacy ... anything from values to valuables. Here are 5 simple things you can do to make sure you leave a legacy of blessing. #Leavealegacy #Faith #Freedom #Blessings

5 Things You Can Do that will Leave a Legacy Blessing

  1. Live for Jesus
  2. Study God’s Word
  3. Pray often
  4. Forgive others
  5. Admit when you mess up

It’s certainly not a comprehensive list, but it’s a great place to start!

What things would you add? How do you focus on leaving a legacy of blessing?

Nicki Schroeder is a Christian radio personality, writer and speaker living in the beautiful Midwest. Nicki desires authenticity in her relationship with Jesus and others. She is a soul encourager who wants to help you glorify Jesus in the middle of your busy beautiful life. Jesus is her superhero. Visit her for encouragement and a free 5-day grace challenge and other goodies at www.nickischroeder.com.

This Week’s Friday Favorites

Highlight Posts of the Week!

Praying for Wheels by Christine Rossiter @ Insta Encouragement

Praying for Wheels

by Christine Rossiter
@ Insta Encouragement

When You Need Unshakable Truth that will Drive Out Your Fears by Stacey Pardoe

When You Need Unshakable Truth that will Drive Out Your Fears

by and @ Stacey Pardoe


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I always enjoy hearing from you! Please take a minute to say ‘hi’ and share your thoughts in the comments below.

Have you visited the Faith ‘n Friends Link Party Board on Pinterest? It’s a great place to catch up with past posts you may have missed here at the party and/or save them for a future read! If you’d like to become a contributor to my Pinterest Group Boards – email me at deb@debwolf.com with a link to your Pinterest home page.

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You Need to Know You are More Than An Avatar

You are more than an avatar. You are more than the sum of your gender, race, religion, income, and education. You are unique and precious to God. #Avatar #Unique #BeautifulPeople #OneofaKind #Believe

If you are a writer or blogger, I have a question for you.

Who do you picture as you write?

In writing courses, this imaginary person represents your ideal reader or customer.

Some call it writing for your “avatar.”

You create this imaginary person by determining your ideal reader’s…

  1. Goals and values.
  2. Sources of information.
  3. Age, gender, religion, family status, education, and location.
  4. Needs and areas where they need help.
  5. Habits, hopes, dreams, and values.

Now it’s possible that I just have a lousy imagination but this has always been hard for me. I’ve never been able to picture some fictional character created by a generic list in my mind when I’m pouring my heart out in a post.

An avatar just isn’t personal enough for me.

Which is one of the reasons I love receiving your comments and prayer requests. You see, I want to picture you when I’m writing … just a couple of good friends, sitting at our favorite coffee shop, talking and praying about life’s challenges.

I want to know you!  

I want to talk with you, not at you.

Because that’s how friendships grow.

One on one! One conversation at a time!

But this isn’t just a truth for writing; this is a truth for life!

You are More Than an Avatar

You are more than an avatar. You are more than the sum of your gender, race, religion, income, and education. You are unique and precious to God. #Avatar #Unique #BeautifulPeople #OneofaKind #Believe

Jesus told His followers He was giving “a new commandment” when He said:

Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. John 13:34

So, I decided to take a closer look at the way Jesus “loved” people.

True, He taught multitudes, healed crowds, and fed thousands. And those things showed us a great deal about His love in general.

But the moments that grab my heart most when I study Scripture, are Jesus personal interactions with people. The one on one, look them in the eye ways He loved the individuals around Him.

Jesus saw persons over people.

Uniquely created human beings in need of…

  • forgiveness.
  • healing.
  • comfort.
  • peace.
  • encouragement.
  • hope.
  • love.

Whether they were His followers or not … Jesus loved souls.

One account that always touches me is – The Rich Young Man in Mark 10:17–31:

He came to Jesus with a question?

“Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

Jesus responded by reminding him of the commandments and the young man replied…

“I’ve obeyed all these commandments since I was young.”

Then as if there was a pause in the action … Jesus didn’t correct him. He didn’t put him in his place. He didn’t give him a quick run down of all the ways he had fallen short … although He could have done so easily.

His reaction to the young man’s foolishness and pride was…

Looking at the man, Jesus felt genuine love for him.

v. 21

Genuine love!

Love asks questions and listens to answers and gently and respectfully offers a better way…

“Go and sell all your possessions and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.”

Jesus loved him enough to gently invite him to give up his pride and dependence on things that cannot last … t0 follow Him, the One who could give a treasure that lasts forever!

And although Jesus already knew how the young man would respond, He lovingly offered the best He had to give.

I’m also inspired by the account of The Woman at the Well in John 4.

This woman was 1. a Samaritan, a mixed race hated by the Jews 2. known for having had several husbands and she’d moved on to living with a man to whom she was not married 3. women didn’t talk to men with whom they were not related in public.

Based on the expectations of the culture – no respectable Jewish man would have stopped to talk to her.

But Jesus did.

And once again, He asked questions. Listened to responses. And offered hope-filled life-giving truth, when He said:

I am the Messiah!

v. 26

And through their conversation, an entire community came to know Jesus.

“Now we believe, not just because of what you told us, but because we have heard Him ourselves. Now we know that He is indeed the Savior of the world.”

Jesus didn’t preach at some ideally imagined avatar.

He talked to young and old; men and women; Jews, Samaritans, and Gentiles; Temple visitors and those who had never even entered synagogue; sick and healthy, rich and poor … anyone who would talk with Him. And each time, He asked questions. He listened and He lovingly and gently spoke the truth.

Friend, you are so much more than an avatar!

You are uniquely and wonderfully made.

You shaped me, inside and out. You knitted me together in my mother’s womb long before I took my first breath. I will offer You my grateful heart, for I am Your unique creation, filled with wonder and awe. You have approached even the smallest details with excellence; Your works are wonderful; I carry this knowledge deep within my soul.

Psalm 139:13–14 (VOICE)

The Lord knows everything about you.

O Lord, you have searched me and known me!
You know when I sit down and when I rise up;
    you discern my thoughts from afar.
You search out my path and my lying down
    and are acquainted with all my ways.
Even before a word is on my tongue,
    behold, O Lord, you know it altogether.

Psalm 139:1–4 (NLT)

And He loves you!

For we know how dearly God loves us because He has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with His love. When we were utterly helpless, Christ came at just the right time and died for us.

Since our friendship with God was restored by the death of His Son while we were still His enemies, we will certainly be saved through the life of His Son. So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God.

Romans 5:5–6, 10–11
You are more than an avatar. You are more than the sum of your gender, race, religion, income, and education. You are unique and precious to God. #Avatar #Unique #BeautifulPeople #OneofaKind #Believe

And because He loves you and me and everyone else so much, He has called us to love each other not simply look at each other as avatars.

I understand that politics and marketing are in the business of defining and labeling us. People who want us to buy what they are selling, benefit when you and I define each other by gender, race, religion, income, and level of education.

But when we believe that those labels define a person, we ignore the unique physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual parts of their make-up that have molded them into the extraordinary one-of-a-kind soul God loves. A soul God wants you and me to get to know and love as well.

I can’t tell who or what broke your heart by the color of your skin. I won’t know what stresses you out or frightens you by the level of your education. I will never know what you’re passionate about by your gender alone.

I can’t know if you lost your job, lost a child, or if you struggle with the pain of rejection. I don’t know if you are fighting a chronic illness or if the doctors recently gave you a frightening diagnosis. And I can’t see whether you’re having a great day or if today you just want to pull the covers over your head and hide.

Your gender, race, religion, income and education will never tell me your personal story … your past hurts, the people who helped and encouraged you, your successes, joys, hopes, and dreams. Those are things unique to you … and I want to know you.

So, I have not created my ideal reader avatar and I never will.

It’s okay if you have. Every blogging course I’ve ever taken has recommended it.

But maybe, for just a moment, you and I can stop in person and online and get to know each other as individuals. We can stop for a bit and ask questions, listen, and share the Truth that gives life.

For people who know and love Jesus, it’s not about selling a product or point of view. It’s all about inviting people into a forever relationship with the One who created them, who knows the number of hairs on their head, who loves them so much He gave His life for them, who cares about their wants and needs, their regrets and fears, their hopes and dreams today … just as much as He cares about their eternal futures.

Friend, you are more than an avatar. You are uniquely and wonderfully made. You are loved by the King of kings and Lord of lords. You are precious to Him and so is every other person on the planet.

So, whatever your gender, race, religion, income, or level of education … I want to get to know you. Please tell me your story. Leave a comment or a prayer request. So I can picture you sitting across the table from me at our favorite coffee shop as I tell you about Jesus, the One who transformed my life and set me free.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

It would bless me so much if you’d take a moment to subscribe to Counting My Blessings so you never miss an update!

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And always remember – I LOVE hearing from you! So, please take a minute to say ‘hi’ by leaving a comment. 

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5 Verses You Need to Pray that Ask God to Bless America

5 Verses You Need to Pray that Ask God to Bless America - The Bible clearly identifies what a nation needs for success. If we want to successfully live in freedom we need to pray and ask God to bless America. #PrayforAmerica #GodblessAmerica #Prayer #Freedom

I’m stopping today to thank God for the blessing of growing up and living in the United States.

Oh, I know we’re a population with conflicting ideas and a long list of things we could do better but friends, we are free!

I looked up the Bill of Rights for a list of freedoms we enjoy. It’s really awesome!

Freedoms in America

  • Freedom of Religion
  • Freedom of Speech
  • Freedom of the Press
  • Freedom of Assembly
  • Freedom of Petition

We are blessed!

If you’re like me, you would like those freedoms to last for many generations in the future.

As I read through the Bible there are two important things necessary for a nation to be successful and lasting…

♥ 1. People honored and trusted God and intentionally made every effort to follow His commands.

♥ 2. People asked God to forgive their failures and help them honor and obey Him.

People prayed!

So, I thought today would be the perfect time to stop for a minute or two and Pray for America!

5 Verses You Need to Pray that Ask God to Bless America

5 Verses You Need to Pray that Ask God to Bless America - The Bible clearly identifies what a nation needs for success. If we want to successfully live in freedom we need to pray and ask God to bless America. #PrayforAmerica #GodblessAmerica #Prayer #Freedom #4thofJuly

 I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. 

1 Timothy 2:1-2

Father, I lift up our country to You. We need You. We’ve always needed You but right now at this moment, it feels like we need You more than ever. I am so thankful for those who are willing to serve our nation … whether they are elected or appointed, military or local law enforcement. Lord, please place Your hand of protection over them. Guide them and help them wherever they serve.

Father, please work in the hearts and minds of those who lead our nation. By the power of Your Spirit, I pray that they will both know and follow Your will. Please help them to see past politics and power and give them hearts to make decisions that are in line with Your will. Lord, help us! Lead us. Forgive us.

Then if my people who are called by my name will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sins and restore their land.

2 Chronicles 7:14

Father, forgive us. We have gotten so many things wrong. We don’t love You well. We don’t love each other well. We don’t follow Your commands as we should. We judge the behavior of others and make excuses for our own flaws and failures. We need You. We Need Jesus. We need Your forgiveness and we need changed hearts and minds. We are so very sorry. Please heal us and help us. Please bless America!

5 Verses You Need to Pray that Ask God to Bless America - The Bible clearly identifies what a nation needs for success. If we want to successfully live in freedom we need to pray and ask God to bless America. #PrayforAmerica #GodblessAmerica #Prayer #Freedom

What joy for the nation whose God is the Lord,
  whose people He has chosen as His inheritance.

Let your unfailing love surround us, Lord,
    for our hope is in You alone.

Psalm 33:12,22

Father, We need our joy restored. We need You! 

The enemy wants us to focus on the junk … on problems that divide us. But You are able to unite us with Your peace.

Please surround us with Your unfailing love, Lord. Give us hope for the future. We have victory in Jesus … all the enemy can do is distract and distress us. When we place our trust in You and focus on all You have done and continue to do in our lives … we will have hope and joy!

If you need wisdom, ask our generous God, and He will give it to you.

James 1:5

Father, Wisdom is defined as knowing what is right and true and doing it. We could even say … wisdom is knowing Your will and obeying it.

We so often fall short when it comes to wisdom! By the power of Your Holy Spirit, work in our hearts and minds and bless us with Your wisdom. Work in our nation’s leaders … give them the wisdom they need and help them apply it. And give us all reverent fear and the courage and strength we need to trust and obey Your will.

May God be merciful and bless us.
May His face smile with favor on us. 
May Your ways be known throughout the earth,
Your saving power among people everywhere.
May the nations praise You, O God
Yes, may all the nations praise You.

Psalm 67:1–3

Bless us, Father! We need Your mercy. We need Your favor. We need You. Help us love others in ways that will make You known.

Your Word tells us that You want everyone to come to know and love You … Jesus said, “Go and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit. Teach these new disciples to obey all the commands I have given you.

You want all people everywhere to trust and follow Jesus. And You’ve given us Your Spirit so we don’t have to figure things out on our own.

Thank you, Father! You have given and You continue to give us everything we need. May we praise and worship You in all we say and do.

5 Verses You Need to Pray that Ask God to Bless America - The Bible clearly identifies what a nation needs for success. If we want to successfully live in freedom we need to pray and ask God to bless America. #PrayforAmerica #GodblessAmerica #Prayer #Freedom

Friends, there are so many more things we could pray specifically for our nation. May we take our concerns to Him. May we pray for one another.

And most importantly, may we continue to show deep love for one another … as “love covers a multitude of sins.”

God bless America!

This Week’s Friday Favorites

Highlight Posts of the Week!

How to Rebuild Broken Trust by Debbie Wilson

How to Rebuild Broken Trust

by Debbie Wilson
Refreshing Faith

How God Changed My Prayers for My Children by Gretchen Fleming

How God Changed My Prayers for My Children

by Gretchen Fleming
@ Following Hard


AND the…

Faith ‘n Friends Link Party

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May your week be blessed with faith, love, and friendship! 

Don’t forget to leave your prayer requests…

and pray over the list left by our friends.

I always enjoy hearing from you! Please take a minute to say ‘hi’ and share your thoughts in the comments below.

Have you visited the Faith ‘n Friends Link Party Board on Pinterest? It’s a great place to catch up with past posts you may have missed here at the party and/or save them for a future read! If you’d like to become a contributor to my Pinterest Group Boards – email me at deb@debwolf.com with a link to your Pinterest home page.

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Thank you and God bless!

Positively Proactive Help for the Best Rest of the Year

You started the year with goals, plans, hopes, and dreams but now you need to be positively proactive help to get back on track to bless the rest of the year. #Blessings #Productivity #Faith #Hope

Today is the first day of the second half of the year.

So, let me ask you … how’s it going so far?

If you’re like me you started the year with goals, plans, hopes, and dreams along with some good habits to start and a few bad habits to break.

So..?

In my own case, I keep thinking of Paul’s words…

And I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature. I want to do what is right, but I can’t. I want to do what is good, but I don’t. I don’t want to do what is wrong, but I do it anyway. 

Romans 7:18–19

I’m so good at having good intentions and so bad at having consistent follow-through.

Something I’ve realized in the last few days is that I have a problem with being more reactive than proactive with my days.

For example…

I consistently get up each morning and brush my teeth, wash my face, and tame my hair. I get dressed and make the bed. I feed and walk the dog. And then I sit down and spend time with the Lord.

That’s all good but that’s also when I stop being proactive. From that point on I spend much of my time going “squirrel, squirrel” to almost anything that floats by and distracts me.

A post on social media can have me digging around the internet. An email can send me off to do some online shopping. A news article or opinionated post can agitate and distract me. Or a random memory can put me on a path to visit my reserved spot in a town called melancholy.

Yep, I start out positive and end up wondering “what in the world just happened here.”

It all became a little clearer for me the other day. I was just finishing up my Bible study and prayer time when the phone rang. The conversation was with one of my favorite people and we were just having fun when all of a sudden one of my “trigger” topics came up and I found myself chasing a squirrel down the path of “truth” and “self” righteousness.

Now, it’s not that my views were wrong, it’s just that (1) I couldn’t help but wonder what my pontificating was accomplishing because (2) I was “preaching to the choir!”

After our conversation ended, I felt that still small voice whisper, “Do you feel better? Was that helpful? Was it”

…true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise? Philippians 4:8

Nope! Not so much!

That’s when I realized how much is lost when I’m reactive rather than proactive.

So, I’ve made a list of action steps I’m calling “proactive help” to get back on track. Things I believe will bless the rest of the year and maybe even make it the best yet!

Positively Proactive Help for the Best Rest of the Year

You started the year with goals, plans, hopes, and dreams but now you need to be positively proactive help to get back on track to bless the rest of the year. #Blessings #Productivity #Faith #Hope

1. Count your blessings every day.

I started “Counting My Blessings” during one of the most difficult times in my life. I launched it to hold myself accountable to noticing God’s goodness in the middle of the pain.

Whatever is going on in the world, even in my world, God’s grace and mercy never change. His perfect love is unfailing!

Whether I write them in a journal or on a piece of paper to drop in a jar or basket, I want to go back to keeping a list of the many ways God is providing for and protecting me … heart, mind, body, and soul every single day.

Let all that I am praise the Lord;
    may I never forget the good things
He does for me.
He forgives all my sins
    and heals all my diseases.
He redeems me from death
    and crowns me with love and tender mercies.

Psalm 103:2–4

2. Seek God first every day.

What does it mean to “seek God first?”

I sometimes think I can think of it as beginning each day in prayer and Bible study.

But I wonder if it’s more than that. I wonder if it’s more of an attitude … in finding my purpose in Him.

Do you remember the 5 Purposes of a Purpose Driven Life?

1. You Were Planned for God’s Pleasure.
2. You Were Formed for God’s Family.
3. You Were Created to Become Like Christ.
4. You Were Shaped for Serving God.
5. You Were Made for a Mission.

Rick Warren

I think it just may be time for me to reread that book! I just may be allowing too many “squirrels” to distract me from focusing on and doing what’s most important.

You can also click on the link above to find the goals I made at the beginning of the year … I know I needed to read it again!

3. Assess your goals and the progress you’re making.

I’m going to be completely honest with you here…

I am terrible at goal setting, time management, and follow through.

I am a Sanguine who like to chase “squirrels!”

So, I can spend all kinds of time making a list of goals and thinking about the best ways to plug them into my schedule and on a good day, I might make it ’til lunchtime before I’ve abandoned it all and gotten off track.

But I will not give up! I’m making a new list of goals this afternoon and attaching to my planner. Although I may not plug in specific times, I’m going to be intentional about doing a weekend assessment of my progress.

4. Learn to say “no” so you can say “yes” to the best.

I want to be able to live my purpose intentionally. And I believe that God sometimes sends interruptions to help me grow in different ways.

But I also know…

Not every interruption is from God and it is not God-honoring for me to chase every “squirrel” I see.

So, I want to prayerfully set those goals I talked about above and live purposefully.

And as a reminder, I’m going to keep the following quote from one of my favorite time-management instructors…

“You have to decide what your highest priorities are and have the courage pleasantly, smilingly, and non-apologetically – to say no to other things. And the way to do that is by having a bigger yes burning inside.” 

Stephen Covey

5. Let go of the past and refuse to worry about the future.

This is a hard one, isn’t it?

It’s so easy to bring yesterday’s baggage into today and worry about how today’s doubts and concerns will affect tomorrow.

But Jesus clearly told us not to worry about today’s troubles or tomorrow’s unknowns.

Why?

Because when you and I seek God first, He is faithful to give us everything we need.

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and He will give you everything you need.

Matthew 6:33

Jesus very next words are … “so don’t worry about tomorrow.”

And we can let go of the past because we are forgiven and free in Jesus.

You started the year with goals, plans, hopes, and dreams but now you need to be positively proactive help to get back on track to bless the rest of the year. #Blessings #Productivity #Faith #Hope

I don’t know about you…

but I’m ready to stop chasing “squirrels.” I’m ready to stop living a reactive life.

Be proactive!

I’m ready to apply proactive help to the rest of the year and enjoy the freedom and blessings God offers to those who live with purpose as they place their hope and trust in His Son, Jesus.

And I’m praying the following words of Paul for each of us as we make the the next six months the best rest of the year.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

Romans 15:!3

One more thing…

I believe being positively proactive can bless every area of our lives.

So, are you ready to look back at your goals for the year and make some positively proactive changes to bless the rest of the year.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

It would bless me so much if you’d take a moment to subscribe to Counting My Blessings so you never miss an update!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

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And always remember – I LOVE hearing from you! So, please take a minute to say ‘hi’ by leaving a comment. 

You can also…

Leave your prayer requests…

and stop to pray one or two of the requests listed.

If this article blessed or helped you today — would you share it with someone?

Send it to a friend, family member, coworker, or share it through the links below…

I’m asking God to bless you today!

Powerful Reasons Why It Is Good for You to Be Kind

It's important to be kind because kindness not only benefits the one who receives it ... kindness benefits the one who gives it. #BeKind #Kindness #Blessings #Friendship

Shh. I have a secret to tell you. Not something I’m proud of but if I’m being honest…

Some days I just don’t feel like being kind.

Some days I just want to focus on myself and give in to impatience, frustration, and annoyance.

There are the days I don’t feel great or I’m anxious about a problem or potential problem. And well, there are even days when I want to succumb to being self-indulgent and self-absorbed.

I know. Remember I said … it’s not something I’m proud of.

The truth is it’s hard to set aside my feelings and emotions in a constant effort to remain encouraging, and kind … and it’s especially hard with people who are selfish, cranky, and irritable.

Am I right?!

Go ahead, you can admit it! You’re safe here!

The thing is, it may be that being kind “matters” most … when it is hardest to give.

I know … that is not what you wanted right now. Not really what I was looking for either.

But whether you and I like it or not…

Since God chose you to be the holy people He loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. 

Colossians 3:12–13

The word “must” doesn’t give us other options, does it?

But there is good news!

God put a blessing in being kind.

Because kindness not only benefits the one who receives it … kindness benefits the one who gives it.

Here are some truths I’ve learned…

Powerful Reasons Why It Is Good for You to Be Kind

It's important to be kind because kindness not only benefits the one who receives it ... kindness benefits the one who gives it. #BeKind #Kindness #Blessings #Friendship

Be Kind – It makes you happier.

Did you know being kind boosts your serotonin and releases endorphins?

Serotonin is a neurotransmitter which contributes to a sense of well-being and feelings of happiness. Endorphins are “chemicals produced naturally by the nervous system to cope with pain or stress.”

Kind words are like honey … sweet to the soul and healthy for the body.

Proverbs 16:24

Be Kind – It helps you notice people over things.

Life feels like it’s moving so fast and distractions are everywhere. I’ll admit, I can get so lost in the doing that I miss wonderful moments with the people I care about.

Reminding myself to be kind, helps me see people and look for opportunities to help. And seeing and caring for the people God puts around me is a beautiful way to love like Jesus.

Kindness is a way I can give from the outpour of grace I have received.

Grace has to be the loveliest word in the English language. It embodies almost every attractive quality we hope to find in others. Grace is a gift of the humble to the humiliated. Grace acknowledges the ugliness of sin by choosing to see beyond it. Grace accepts a person as someone worthy of kindness despite whatever grime or hard-shell casing keeps him or her separated from the rest of the world. Grace is a gift of tender mercy when it makes the least sense.

Charles Swindoll

Be Kind – It helps cure loneliness.

I know of so many people who are lonely “in real life” even though they have hundreds of “friends” on social media. I shared 5 Psalms to Pray that will Help When Feel Lonely just the other day.

I’m learning it’s impossible for me to feel lonely when I’m doing something nice for someone else.

“Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”

Mother Teresa

Be Kind – It reduces stress and anxiety.

People who make kindness a priority consistently have 23% less cortisol, which is the stress hormone.

A group of highly anxious individuals performed at least six acts
of kindness a week. After one month, there was a significant
increase in positive moods, relationship satisfaction and a decrease in social avoidance in socially anxious individuals.

University of British Columbia Study – RandomActsofKindness.org

Random acts of kindness can bring joy to both the giver and the receiver. Try to do at least one each day this week.

Vee Freir, Learn To Stress Less 

Be Kind – It can lead to deeper conversations.

Kindness speaks with gentleness and respect. Kindness listens.

A gentle caring word and listening ear can open up a conversation and help us do a better job of understanding each other.

But deeper conversations take time – so an important part of being kind is slowing down long enough care about the hurting person behind the person in front of you.

Sometimes the person who is hardest to be kind to is the person who needs it most. You never know how much the person beside you is suffering.

“Speak in such a way as others love to listen to you. Listen in such a way as others love to speak to you.” ~Author Unknown

Be Kind – It might become contagious.

Don’t you love pay-it-forward stories?

One kind act inspires another and then another. I love how often people will pay an act of kindness forward. It’s possible you and I can start an endless chain reaction of kindness that goes on and on without even realizing it.

“A purposeful act or extension of kindness to another is never wasted, for it always resides in the hearts of all involved in a chain of love.”

Molly Friedenfeld
It's important to be kind because kindness not only benefits the one who receives it ... kindness benefits the one who gives it. #BeKind #Kindness #Blessings #Friendship

You and I have a choice…

I’ll admit, it’s easy for me to get self-absorbed and selfish. It’s even easier for me to be responsive and treat people the way I feel they’ve treated me.

That’s not what Jesus said, He gave us The Golden Rule…

“Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.” 

Matthew 7:12

The thing is…

People are watching us. You and I are representing Christ Jesus wherever we go and those watching us are making decisions about Him based on what they see in us.

Friends, family, acquaintances, or even strangers . . . everyone benefits when you and I choose kindness.

So, with God’s help, I’m making it a priority to be kind. I want to practice it until it becomes a habit.

And the crazy blessing given to us by our awesome loving God is when you and I are kind to others it is actually good for us. How cool is that?!

One final quote with a few ideas to inspire us…

“One of the most spiritual things you can do is embrace your humanity. Connect with those around you today. Say, “I love you”, “I’m sorry”, “I appreciate you”, “I’m proud of you”…whatever you’re feeling. Send random texts, write a cute note, embrace your truth and share it…cause a smile today for someone else…and give plenty of hugs.” 

Steve Maraboli

Thank you so much for joining me today.

It would bless me so much if you’d take a moment to subscribe to Counting My Blessings so you never miss an update!

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

And always remember – I LOVE hearing from you! So, please take a minute to say ‘hi’ by leaving a comment. 

You can also…

Leave your prayer requests…

and stop to pray one or two of the requests listed.

If this article blessed or helped you today — would you share it with someone?

Send it to a friend, family member, coworker, or share it through the links below…

I’m asking God to bless you today!

5 Psalms to Pray that will Help When You Feel Lonely

We've never been more connected than we are today. Yet, more people say they feel lonely often. We're praying 5 Psalms that will help and give us hope. #Prayer #Hope #Loneliness #FeelLonely

We’ve never been more connected as a society than we are today.

Social media has given us more “friends” than ever before. We get clicks and likes and shares. We feel loved when something we share goes “viral” and unloved when something else is ignored.

Psychologists tell us that in spite of all the connections we have online, more and more people say they feel lonely … as we’ve replaced real-life relationships with online “friendships.”

Loneliness is something the Bible could refer to as being “common to man.”

Solomon says there is “nothing new under the sun.”

Since the first death, the first rejection, or the first time someone was left out … loneliness has been a part of our sin-infected world.

But God…

[Oh wow, those are my two favorite words!]

But God told us that He cares about the lonely … about widows and orphans and those who feel abandoned and forsaken.

So, if you include yourself among those who feel lonely today, please join me in praying…

5 Psalms to Pray that will Help When You Feel Lonely

We've never been more connected than we are today. Yet, more people say they feel lonely often. We're praying 5 Psalms that will help and give us hope. #Prayer #Hope #Loneliness #FeelLonely

Turn to me and have mercy,
    for I am alone and in deep distress.

Psalm 25:16

Father, Thank you for David’s honesty. It helps me to know that my loneliness is not unique or at all unusual. Even the one You called “a man after my own heart” experienced distress … times when he felt like no one understood him or what he was doing through.

I get it! I think that’s where some of my loneliness comes from. I look around and it looks like so many others have their act together and well, I don’t even feel close to that.

I need You, Lord.

Why am I discouraged?
    Why is my heart so sad?
I will put my hope in God!
    I will praise Him again—
    my Savior and my God!

Psalm 43:5

Father, Why is it that I have these days when it feels like no one understands. I can be standing with people who clearly tell me they love me or be surrounded by a room full of people, and still … my thoughts make me feel isolated and alone.

Please be my encourager. I need You! I want to keep my focus on You, Lord. I want to think about all You have done for me in the past. I want to remember that this feeling is temporary.

You are my hope … my Savior and my God! Thank you!

He heals the brokenhearted
    and bandages their wounds.
He counts the stars
    and calls them all by name.
How great is our Lord! His power is absolute!
His understanding is beyond comprehension!

Psalm 147:3–5

Father, I am not alone. You are the One who created the heavens, counts the stars and knows their names. You created me and Your Word tells me You know everything about me … even the number of hairs on my head. (Matthew 10:30) That is beyond my ability to understand.

What I do understand … the times You have comforted my broken heart, the times You have given me hope when things appeared hopeless, the times You have forgiven me and covered me with Your love.

I am not alone! You are with me. Thank you, Lord!

The Lord keeps you from all harm
    and watches over your life.
The Lord keeps watch over you
as you come and go,
    both now and forever.

Psalm 121:7–8

Father, thank you for watching over me … for protecting me. Jesus promised to always be with those who trust and follow Him. (Matthew 28:20) He promised the Holy Spirit, the Helper, the Comforter. (John 14:16)

With You, I am never alone. You are with me to comfort, guide, and strengthen me. Please make me aware that You are watching over me wherever I am … always.

You are my peace, my strength, and my hope. Thank you, Lord! Amen.

You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!

Psalm 139:5–6

Father, Thank you! The truth-filled knowledge of Your constant loving presence in my life is wonderful! It is my greatest blessing.

When I’m feeling lonely, I’ll admit, I spend a lot of time thinking about myself. When I center my heart and mind on You and all You have done and continue to do for me, I experience Your hard to understand gift of peace and supernatural joy.

And then … I’m able to reach out. To look for someone else I might help or encourage and I know from experience the best way to be free of feelings of sadness, discouragement, and loneliness is to go out and bless someone who needs Your love and encouragement.

When I feel lonely, Lord, give me eyes to see those who are lonely around me, a heart that understands and cares, and the courage to reach out with Your love.

By Your grace and for Your glory. Amen.

When you feel lonely…

We've never been more connected than we are today. Yet, more people say they feel lonely often. We're praying 5 Psalms that will help and give us hope. #Prayer #Hope #Loneliness #FeelLonely

I love the above quote by Kay Arthur.

And this one from Elizabeth Elliot…

Loneliness comes over us sometimes as a sudden tide. It is one of the terms of our humanness, and, in a sense, therefore, incurable. Yet I have found peace in my loneliest times not only through acceptance of the situation but through making it an offering to God, who can transfigure it into something for the good of others. 

Maybe their words are the perfect responses to those times I feel alone…

Rest in God’s perfect love, humbly lay my feelings at the throne of grace, and look for ways use my struggle with loneliness to bless someone else.

With God’s help … we can all feel lonely a little less often!

This Week’s Friday Favorites

Highlight Posts of the Week!

I Am a Soldier's Mom - Learning to Let Go by Kim Turner McCulley @ Finding Flowers Amid Thorns

I Am a Soldier’s Mom – Learning to Let go

by Kim Turner McCulley
@ Finding Flowers Amid Thorns

14 Helpful Apps for Engaging the Scripture - Deborah Haddix

14 Helpful Apps for Engaging the Scripture

by Deborah Haddix
@ Empowering You to Embrace God’s Design


AND the…

Faith ‘n Friends Link Party

Counting My Blessings
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I’m so glad you’re here!

This is a place to share faith, make friends, and have fun.

I’d love to connect with you on social media!

[Tweet “I’m finding #Friendship and #Inspiration at #Faith ‘n Friends #LinkUp Come join the fun! “]

Deb Wolf
Facebook / Twitter / Pinterest

No More Rules Link Party

Add 1-2 of your favorite faith/life posts.
Then just make friends and have fun.
You know they love it when you stop by and say “hello.”

I would really appreciate it if you would
Grab my Link Party Button above and link back to CMB.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Thank you so much for partying with us!
May your week be blessed with faith, love, and friendship! 

Don’t forget to leave your prayer requests…

and pray over the list left by our friends.

I always enjoy hearing from you! Please take a minute to say ‘hi’ and share your thoughts in the comments below.

Have you visited the Faith ‘n Friends Link Party Board on Pinterest? It’s a great place to catch up with past posts you may have missed here at the party and/or save them for a future read! If you’d like to become a contributor to my Pinterest Group Boards – email me at deb@debwolf.com with a link to your Pinterest home page.

And if this article blessed or helped you today — would you share it with someone? Maybe a friend, family member, coworker, or through the links below…

And don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an update.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Thank you and God bless!

5 of the Best Ways to Guard Your Heart and Love People

Learn how to guard your heart while remaining open and vulnerable ... but do it with God's help, wisdom, and discernment. Awesome relationship advice! #Relationships #Friendship #KnowtheTruth #FaithLife #Blessings

You were determined. Things were going to be different this year. You made relationship goals and you’re trying hard, really you are.

But there’s a problem. You brought last year’s baggage into this year’s efforts and your family and friends did the same.

Doubts, disappointments, failures … memories linger and somehow get in the way of the changes you were hoping to realize.

We’re almost half-way through the year and the desires and dreams you had in January … began to fade months ago.

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to give up. I want to rekindle that spark of hope. So, I’m going to God’s Word for inspiration and ideas of changes I can make to guard my heart against recurring disappointments and maybe, just maybe, bless my relationships as well.

Kind Solomon wrote in Proverbs…

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. 

Proverbs 4:23

It sounds good but what exactly does it mean to “guard your heart”?

The dictionary defines guard this way…

  • to keep safe from harm and danger
  • to keep a close watch
  • to keep under control or restraint
  • to provide a safeguard

That’s the simple definition and it makes sense but how do you and I guard something as fragile as our hearts … especially when they are so vulnerable to the words and actions of the people around us.

If you’ve ever had your heart broken . . . you may believe “guard your heart” means never allowing yourself to be vulnerable again. 

And I understand, sometimes living behind a protective wall feels safer and easier.

But you and I were made for community . . . for relationships. God wants us to live connected to Him and to each other and that means isolated living isn’t really an option, at least not a good one. 

We need to learn how to remain open and vulnerable while also guarding our hearts … but doing so with wisdom and discernment.

And that is not easy!

So, here are 5 ways I believe you and I can guard our hearts and bless our relationships.

5 of the Best Ways to Guard Your Heart
and Love People

Learn how to guard your heart while remaining open and vulnerable ... but do it with God's help, wisdom, and discernment. Awesome relationship advice! #Relationships #Friendship #KnowtheTruth #FaithLife #Blessings

1. Know God’s Truth to Defeat Lies

The enemy of our souls is constantly whispering distractions and defeat. His goal is to rob our peace, devastate our efforts, and ruin our relationships.

If you and I want to live in community with guarded hearts, it’s essential for us to know the truth.

God’s truth.

Jesus said, “I tell you the truth,” 78 times. Truth for life and truth about relationships.

When the Spirit of truth comes, He will guide you into all truth. He will not speak on His own but will tell you what He has heard. 

John 16:13

God’s Word is full of relationship advice but it’s hard for you and me to apply it if we don’t know it. 

The more we fill our hearts and minds with God’s truth the easier it is to guard our hearts while still remaining open, caring, patient, and kind.

I’m holding onto Colossians 3 as a reminder:

Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony. And let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. For as members of one body you are called to live in peace. And always be thankful.

Colossians 3:12–15

2. Carefully Control Your Thoughts

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 

Philippians 4:8

I bet you wanted to start with an easy one!

Thoughts pop in from everywhere. If you’re like me, you find it almost impossible to remain focused on the true, pure, and lovely aspects of life; especially when opposing views are so readily available.

And that’s true in our relationships as well.

Old habits are hard to break. Annoying behaviors get on our nerves. Conversations turn into arguments and hurt feelings leave us thinking about anything and everything but things like truth, respect, kindness, and love. 

You and I can guard our hearts by…

Addressing problems kindly, calmly, and quickly. Forgiving fast. Refusing to bring up the past.

And giving thanks for small steps of progress believing that God has hope-filled plans for the future.

3. Pray for Wisdom and Strength

Plain and simple … I need God’s wisdom in my relationships. 

I need God’s help! It’s impossible for me to apply verses like the one above without His help!

Honestly, I can’t tell you how often I’ve had to go to the Lord praying…

“I don’t want to be merciful, kind, humble, gentle and patient right now. I’m hurt, frustrated, and angry. Please help me see this person the way You see them and help me love like Jesus.”

Or…

“I don’t know how to handle this situation. Please reveal the truth to me, guide my thoughts, and show me what to do and say going forward. Help me set wise boundaries and bless this relationship with Your grace, mercy, and love.”

If you do not have wisdom, ask God for it. He is always ready to give it to you and will never say you are wrong for asking.

And…

The wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism and is always sincere.

James 1:5 (NLV) and James 3:17 (NLT)

I love that the Lord wants to bless us with wisdom and tells us what it looks like!

4. Love Yourself God’s Way

I’m not very good at self-love when it comes to pats on the back and pep talks.

It’s important to stop and remember just how much God loves us!

In perfect wisdom … He cares for, provides, protects, comforts, strengthens, and saves us!

Loving ourselves means … caring for our bodies, minds, emotions, and souls. For more details about loving yourself God’s way click here.

I love this quote about God’s love by Jerry Bridges…

“God’s unfailing love for us is an objective fact affirmed over and over in the Scriptures. It is true whether we believe it or not. Our doubts do not destroy God’s love, nor does our faith create it. It originates in the very nature of God, who is love, and it flows to us through our union with His beloved Son.”

And it is God’s unfailing love flowing into and through us that helps us love others.

Learn how to guard your heart while remaining open and vulnerable ... but do it with God's help, wisdom, and discernment. Awesome relationship advice! #Relationships #Friendship #KnowtheTruth #FaithLife #Blessings

5. Love Others as You Love Yourself

It’s easy to think of love as a warm fuzzy feeling of affection you and I have for people who are precious to us.

But I don’t believe that’s what Jesus meant when He said…

“Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Matthew 19:19, Mark 12:31, and Luke 10:27

Loving others as we love ourselves is caring for them physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. It is love that is caring and kind, forgiving and patient … it reflects the love of Jesus.

Which is another reason why I need God’s help! My selfish nature absolutely can’t do that on its own.

Trust God with the Rest

Sometimes I think guarding our hearts this way only works in a perfect world. In a world where you and I are dealing with imperfect people like us … we must do our best to do what we can and trust the rest to the Lord’s loving care!

Guard Your Heart

Friends, your heart is precious. It is the core of who you are. What you believe takes root in your heart and reveals itself in your words and actions.

The Message paraphrases Solomon’s words this way…

Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that’s where life starts. Don’t talk out of both sides of your mouth; avoid careless banter, white lies, and gossip. Keep your eyes straight ahead; ignore all sideshow distractions. Watch your step, and the road will stretch out smooth before you. Look neither right nor left; leave evil in the dust.

Proverbs 4:23

That’s awesome relationship advice!

Remember…

You are precious to God. The people around you are precious to Him, too. Guard your heart with His truth, reflect His love, and trust Him to help you with the rest.

Thank you so much for joining me today.

It would bless me so much if you’d take a moment to subscribe to Counting My Blessings so you never miss an update!

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5 Verses to Pray When You Want to Seek God First

I want to get up each morning and seek God first. I want to live surrendered and free in Jesus! But it takes prayer. So, I'm praying 5 verses asking for the Spirit's help. #Prayer #Faith #SeekGodFirst #Blessings #BlessingBloggers

SEEK was my word for 2018, and I chose Luke 12:31 as my verse…

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and He will give you everything you need. 

At the end of the year, I knew there was no moving on. Seek went from being my word for the year to being my word for life!

I think the reason it’s so important to me is because giving God first place in my life was something I struggled with for much of my life. I believed and trusted in Jesus for my salvation but I also struggled to surrender myself completely.

Satan had planted a seed of doubt … one that told me much was asked of those who surrendered completely. So, I held back just a little because I doubted God’s ability to strengthen me through my “what if” fears.

But I was wrong!

Life is hard whether we’re surrendered or not. Bad things happen to the faith-filled and to those without faith. But by God’s grace, I’ve learned that God is greater than my circumstances, even when they are painful and unwanted!

The Lord provided everything I needed through a season of overwhelming events and proved He is able to give me everything I need whatever my situation. I can now say…

I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 

Romans 8:38

He gave me what I needed when I needed it! Never early. Never late. But right on time.

Now I cling to verses like…

God is our refuge and strength, always ready to help in times of trouble.

And…

“My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.”

Psalm 46:1 and 2 Corinthians 12:9

I want to get up each morning and seek God first. I want to live surrendered and free in Jesus!

But it takes prayer. So, today I’m praying 5 verses asking for the Spirit’s help to…

Seek God First

I want to get up each morning and seek God first. I want to live surrendered and free in Jesus! But it takes prayer. So, I'm praying 5 verses asking for the Spirit's help. #Prayer #Faith #SeekGodFirst #Blessings #BlessingBloggers

Search for the Lord and for His strength; continually seek Him.

1 Chronicles 16:11

Father, Seeking is not a “sit back, wait and see” way of life. It’s spending time in Your Word, coming to You in prayer, and worshipping You in spirit and truth. Seeking is realizing I’m lost without You. It’s recognizing my need for Your mercy and grace. And it’s living a life of gratitude for Your gift of love … Jesus, the One who “came to seek and to save those who are lost” like me. Please help me continually seek You today!

Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.

Proverbs 3:6

Father, I want to trust and obey Your will faithfully but I fall short. Please forgive me and help me. Your Word says repentance is more than just saying I’m sorry; it is intentionally wanting to change. It’s trusting Your Word as truth and obeying Your will. It’s being willing to accept Your help in stepping off the path I’m on to take the path You want for me. Please help me apply these truths to my life.

The Lord is good to those who depend on Him, to those who search for Him. So it is good to wait quietly for salvation from the Lord.

Lamentations 3:25–26

Father, I hear You whisper, “be still and know … cease striving” but it’s hard Lord. My life feels like it’s spinning. Do this. Be there. Check this box. Finish that project. Run this errand. Help. Serve. Accomplish. I’m exhausted! I need You! I am stopping right now … stopping to surrender and breathe in Your goodness.

By Your grace, help me remember, I don’t have to do this alone. Your Spirit is with me to counsel and guide. Make me constantly aware of Your sweet presence as I depend on Your truth to guide me and give me strength.

Wherever your treasure is, there the desires of your heart will also be.

Matthew 6:21

Father, I know when I have You, I have everything I need. But the world shouts at me. My schedule harasses me. Some days … life simply wears me out.

With the help of Your Spirit, turn my focus from the chaos and desires of the world to the treasure I have in You. Fill me with Your peace. Help me replace the noise of life with the simple sounds of worship and praise. Give me a passion for Your Word and prayer. Be my treasure and my heart’s desire. Satisfy me with Your love.

Give thanks to the Lord and proclaim His greatness. Let the whole world know what He has done. Search for the Lord and for His strength; continually seek Him. Remember the wonders He has performed, His miracles, and the rulings He has given,

Psalm 105:1,4–5

Father, Thank you! When I remember all You have done in the past, I’m overwhelmed by Your grace and mercy. You have sustained and strengthened, healed and helped, provided and protected. I am overwhelmed. Thank you!

I surrender this day to You. I will follow where You lead and obey Your will as You reveal it to me. I will seek You with all I am and love You with all my heart, soul, mind, and strength. Please fill me with Your Spirit that I might willingly and faithfully keep this promise … by Your grace and for Your glory.

I want to get up each morning and seek God first. I want to live surrendered and free in Jesus! But it takes prayer. So, I'm praying 5 verses asking for the Spirit's help. #Prayer #Faith #SeekGodFirst #Blessings #BlessingBloggers

Seek God First

Jesus promised…

Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and he will give you everything you need.

Luke 12:31

Everything! And the next verse…

So don’t be afraid … it gives your Father great happiness to give You the kingdom.

Luke 12:32

Great happiness! Wow! What a blessing it is to know our prayers to “seek God first,” are prayers our Father loves to answer!

This Week’s Friday Favorites

Highlight Posts of the Week!

Be Who God Created You to Be by Dr. Michelle Bengtson @ Hope Prevails

Be Who God Created You to Be

by Dr. Michelle Bengtson
@ Hope Prevails

Feeling Betrayed by a Friend - Be Honest by Diane Ferriera @ Worth Beyond Rubies

Feeling Betrayed by a Friend – Be Honest

by Diane Ferreira
@ Worth Beyond Rubies


AND the…

Faith ‘n Friends Link Party

Counting My Blessings
<div align="center"><a href="https://countingmyblessings.com/" rel="nofollow" title="Counting My Blessings"><img src="https://countingmyblessings.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/12/Link-Party-Button-Pic.jpg" alt="Counting My Blessings" style="border: none; height: auto; width: 200px;" /></a></div>

I’m so glad you’re here!

This is a place to share faith, make friends, and have fun.

I’d love to connect with you on social media!

[Tweet “I’m finding #Friendship and #Inspiration at #Faith ‘n Friends #LinkUp Come join the fun! “]

Deb Wolf
Facebook / Twitter / Pinterest

No More Rules Link Party

Add 1-2 of your favorite faith/life posts.
Then just make friends and have fun.
You know they love it when you stop by and say “hello.”

I would really appreciate it if you would
Grab my Link Party Button above and link back to CMB.

You are invited to the Inlinkz link party!

Click here to enter

Thank you so much for partying with us!
May your week be blessed with faith, love, and friendship! 

Don’t forget to leave your prayer requests…

and pray over the list left by our friends.

I always enjoy hearing from you! Please take a minute to say ‘hi’ and share your thoughts in the comments below.

Have you visited the Faith ‘n Friends Link Party Board on Pinterest? It’s a great place to catch up with past posts you may have missed here at the party and/or save them for a future read! If you’d like to become a contributor to my Pinterest Group Boards – email me at deb@debwolf.com with a link to your Pinterest home page.

And if this article blessed or helped you today — would you share it with someone? Maybe a friend, family member, coworker, or through the links below…

And don’t forget to subscribe so you never miss an update.

Subscribe to Blog via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Thank you and God bless!

Jesus is the One Who Can Unite People in a Call Out World

Is it okay to call out all the people with whom we disagree? What about other Christians? I've challenged myself to find out what the Bible says. #BibleStudy #ChristianCommunity #SocialMedia #CountingMyBlessings

Eight years ago, I spent the months of June and July updating my passport, getting the required vaccines, and trying to figure out what in the world I should pack. Each day spent getting ready to travel to Bolivia as a member of the World Vision Bolivia Bloggers Team.

I was considerably older than the rest of the team’s members and I definitely had the smallest platform … I’m still in awe of the ways God worked to graciously allow me to go on this life-changing trip.

If you’re curious about the trip itself … you can learn more here.

The trip itself is not the reason for this post.

You see, the reason I’m writing this is … I met Rachel Held Evans that week.

I chose not to speak out while she was ill and following her death. But recently, I’ve felt the Lord’s nudge to share some thoughts with you.

Not as much thoughts about Rachel as thoughts about the rest of us.

You see, I struggle with being judgmental. There is something self-righteously satisfying about stopping to call out the people we deem”false teachers.” The people we believe are doing or say “it” wrong. Whatever we decide “it” is.

Honestly, I caught myself being guilty again just the other day.

So, I’m definitely not here to preach at you. Like you, I’m on a journey of faith … honestly sharing the things the Lord lays on my heart. They are things I need to hear and so I wonder if you might need them too.

Back to Bolivia and meeting Rachel…

Rachel and the others in the group were the ages of my children. Their life experiences differed from mine in almost every way. Although, I probably shared my thoughts with them more than I’d like to admit … I hope I asked lots of questions and listened intentionally because several of their ideas were new to me and I wanted to know more.

Rachel was in the middle of writing her book – A Year of Biblical Womanhood.

The following is the first paragraph of the book’s synopsis on Amazon.

Strong-willed and independent, Rachel Held Evans couldn’t sew a button on a blouse before she embarked on a radical life experiment—a year of biblical womanhood. Intrigued by the traditionalist resurgence that led many of her friends to abandon their careers to assume traditional gender roles in the home, Evans decides to try it for herself, vowing to take all of the Bible’s instructions for women as literally as possible for a year.  

I smiled as I read those words because I don’t remember Rachel, as being strong-willed, although I’ll admit I only spent a week with her.

What I do remember about her is her smile and willingness to laugh, her kindness, and her passion for the children and families we were visiting and her heart for the ministry of World Vision.

Did I agree with everything that was said that week? No.

But I cared for and about everyone on the trip … including Rachel. When I heard she was ill, I prayed and prayed and prayed that God would heal her. And it broke my heart to learn she had died.

There was something else that broke my heart…

People using that heart-breaking time to say cruel and hateful things about her on social media because they disagreed with what she wrote.

Jesus is the One Who Can Unite People in a Call Out World

Is it okay to call out all the people with whom we disagree? What about other Christians? I've challenged myself to find out what the Bible says. #BibleStudy #ChristianCommunity #SocialMedia #CountingMyBlessings

So, why am I writing about this now weeks later?

Last week, the Lord tapped me on the shoulder as I was read the following in Jonah and 1 John…

Jonah didn’t want to go to Nineveh.

Why? Because Jonah hated the Assyrians and believed they deserved God’s judgment. Jonah had judged them and believed they deserved whatever God’s punishment.

So, when God asked him to go and “deliver the message” … Jonah took off in the opposite direction.

Which is how he found himself in the belly of a big fish.

God graciously and mercifully turned him around and gave him a second opportunity to obey. Which he did.

Jonah went to Nineveh and gave them God’s message:

“Forty days from now Nineveh will be destroyed!”

Jonah 3:4

And do you know what happened?

The people of Nineveh believed God’s message, and from the greatest to the least, they declared a fast and put on burlap to show their sorrow.

Jonah 3:5

But Jonah was not happy…

“Didn’t I say before I left home that You would do this, Lord? That is why I ran away to Tarshish! I knew that You are a merciful and compassionate God, slow to get angry and filled with unfailing love. You are eager to turn back from destroying people.

Jonah 4:2

As I sat there pondering my own judgmental attitudes, I turned to my New Testament reading in 1 John 2:

Dear friends, I am not writing a new commandment for you; rather it is an old one you have had from the very beginning. This old commandment—to love one another—is the same message you heard before.

1 John 2:7

So, my heart was hearing … don’t judge people—love them!

I kept reading…

If anyone claims, “I am living in the light,” but hates a fellow believer, that person is still living in darkness. Anyone who loves a fellow believer is living in the light and does not cause others to stumble.

1 John 2:9

The Life Application Bible Notes say:

John’s words focus on the attitude that causes us to ignore or despise others, to treat them as irritants, competitors, or enemies. Christian love is not a feeling but a choice. We can choose to be concerned with people’s well being and treat them with respect, whether or not we feel affection toward them.

And I would add, whether or not we agree with them.

The LAB Notes also say:

Love should be the unifying force and identifying mark of the Christian community. Love is the key to walking in the light.

Friends, you and I are representing Jesus to the world. Why would anyone want what we have … when we publicly ridicule, condemn, and call out those with whom we disagree.

When we don’t agree, you and I are called to speak the truth in love.

Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of His body, the church.

Ephesians 4:15

Maybe we need to be more focused on love because too often we forget that part, choosing to speak the truth with a sledgehammer.

What if speaking the truth in love looked more like…

Worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way.

1 Peter 2:15b–16

What if we did a better job of humbly telling our own broken stories that share the transforming power of God’s love!

What if we just told people about Jesus, the One who not only knows the truth but who is the Truth and the Way and the Life.

You see, He’s the One who prayed..

Now I am departing from the world; they are staying in this world, but I am coming to you. Holy Father, You have given me Your name; now protect them by the power of Your name so that they will be united just as we are.

John 17:11

He prayed for us to be united by His love and I want to honor Jesus’ prayer.

So, I’m asking God to give me eyes to see everyone as a soul desperately in need of His love. I’m asking Him to make me gracious and merciful in the way I treat others. I’m asking Him to help me listen more and call out less.

Because…

I don’t want people to know the truth according to Deb. I want people to know Jesus and experience the power of His transforming love.

1 John 4:8 says:

God is love!

Overwhelming love! Love who never gives up … who mercifully and patiently seeks out people and transforms lives.

Love who can unite people in a broken and sinful world. Love who can heal hearts and relationships. Love who has promised us LIFE!

I want to care more about people and less about being right. I want to treat everyone with caring kindness and compassion. And I want to be silent when I’m tempted to call out.

I’m praying with the help of the Holy Spirit, I will do a better job of loving like Jesus.

Is it okay to call out all the people with whom we disagree? What about other Christians? I've challenged myself to find out what the Bible says. #BibleStudy #ChristianCommunity #SocialMedia #CountingMyBlessings

Will you please pray with me?

Father, thank you for faithfully showing me Your grace, mercy, and love. Please, please forgive me for failing to extend the same grace, mercy, and love to others. Please help me realize that I don’t have to agree with someone to be respectful, caring, and compassionate. Help me to be a better example of Your love in my home, at work, at church, in my community, and online. Unite us, Father, by Your love. In the name of Jesus. By Your grace and for Your glory. Amen.

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