8 Qualities You Need If You Want Healthy Trusting Relationships

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We all want healthy trusting relationships but I'm not sure we all know what it takes to have them. Let's look at 8 qualities that are musts for good connections. #Friendship #Marriage #Trust #Blessings

What makes a healthy trusting relationship?

Not just between husband and wife, but with family members and friends, too.

Rev and I talked about this recently and determined that we believe trust is essential in all healthy relationships. So, we made a list of things we believe are important to maintain the trust that is given easily at first and more hesitantly after you’ve been lied to, hurt, or betrayed.

You may feel like you lost the ability to trust easily long ago. Maybe your parents, a family member, or a friend were anything but faithful. Truthfully, very few of us grow up without experiences that leave us with some trust baggage.

But there’s hope. We just need to know the ingredients that make people trustworthy. Things we want to see in others and that they want to see in us. Things that will strengthen our marriages and friendships. Things we want our children to know now and apply throughout their lives.

8 Important Qualities of
Healthy Trusting Relationships

1. Be Someone Who Keeps Promises

Promise – a statement telling someone that you will definitely do (or not do) something now or in the future.

Big promises and little promises, if you make a promise do absolutely everything within your power to keep that promise. No excuses! Make sure . . . Every Promise Made is a Promise Kept!

It is better to say nothing than to make a promise and not keep it.

Ecclesiastes 5:5

2. Be Open and Honest – Tell the Truth

Say what you mean. Mean what you say. Tell the truth and avoid secrets.

The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in those who tell the truth

Proverbs 12:22

3. Be Slow to Get AngryPause and Breathe

Ask yourself the following questions:

  • Why am I angry? Look at the situation factually and honestly.
  • Is something else bothering me? (I don’t feel well. The kids are driving me crazy. Work is overwhelming. I’m exhausted. I’m cranky.)
  • Is something else bothering or upsetting the other person?
  • Will talking about it make it better? If not let it go.

You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry. Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. 

James 1:19b–20

4. Be Humble, Kind, and Forgiving

Be quick to ask for forgiveness when you’re wrong and quick to give forgiveness when you’ve been wronged.

Instead, be kind to each other, tender-hearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Ephesians 4:32

5. Be a Person of Integrity – Consistent and Reliable 

Be someone your friends and family can count on to consistently show care and kindness. Be careful with your words. Never speak negatively about your family or your friends. Don’t gossip. Don’t complain about your spouse, children, or friends to someone else, if you have a problem go to the person involved.

As Rev would say, “That’s downright Biblical.” (Matthew 18:15–19)

“Live so that when your children think of fairness, caring, and integrity, they think of you.” ~H. Jackson Brown Jr. 

We all want healthy trusting relationships but I'm not sure we all know what it takes to have them. Let's look at 8 qualities that are musts for good connections. #Friendship #Marriage #Trust #Blessings

6. Be Someone Who Sets Wise Boundaries

Set your personal boundaries well inside a safe zone. Avoid situations that might threaten your relationship or make a loved one uncomfortable. If you think you’d have to defend or explain it . . . don’t do it. Be the person your friends and family trust because you’ve never given them a reason to doubt you.

So be careful how you live. Don’t live like fools, but like those who are wise.

Ephesians 5:15

7. Be Quick to Affirm and Slow to Criticise

Say “please and thank you” often. Give tons of affirmation and appreciation, and keep complaints to a minimum. And remember, you don’t have to say every negative thing you think . . . avoid sarcasm and scorchers. It’s worth a bloody tongue to avoid saying something you’ll regret or that will hang in the air for years to come. 

When you talk, do not say harmful things, but say what people need—words that will help others become stronger. Then what you say will do good to those who listen to you.

Ephesians 4:29 (NCV)

8. Be Someone Who Puts God First – Grow in Faith

Worship, pray and study the Bible together. Talk about your faith and the way God is working in your life. It will strengthen you personally and bless your relationships!

So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:11
We all want healthy trusting relationships but I'm not sure we all know what it takes to have them. Let's look at 8 qualities that are musts for good connections. #Friendship #Marriage #Trust #Blessings

A Prayer to Have Healthy
Trusting Relationships

Father, thank you for creating us for relationships with You and with one another. You have given us everything we need to love each other well but we are sinful and selfish and hurt each other again and again. Please forgive us. Please forgive me.

Please help me forgive the people who have hurt me. Give me the courage to trust again and the willingness to follow Your Word’s wise counsel. Please help me control my anger and my words. Help me to keep my promises and help me to be open and honest, humble and kind. By Your grace, help my words and actions inspire the people around me to want these qualities as well.

By the power of Your Spirit, fill my heart with Your love and make me more like Jesus. In whose name, I pray. Amen.

We all want healthy trusting relationships but I'm not sure we all know what it takes to have them. Let's look at 8 qualities that are musts for good connections. #Friendship #Marriage #Trust #Blessings

One more thing to remember…

It is possible to do every one of the ten things faithfully and have the other person completely blow apart your relationship. Sadly, yes. We live in an imperfect world with imperfect people.

This list is a goal. No one is able to do these things perfectly 100% of the time. But I believe they are worth the effort and that with the Lord’s help . . . everything is possible.

You and I can work on ourselves, but maybe presenting this list and talking about it with those closest to us will help them want to do what’s necessary to have healthy trusting relationships too.

What do you believe is the most important quality listed above? 

May God bless you with healthy trusting relationships!

Thank you so much for joining me today.

And a thank you to BibleGateway.com for sources.

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20 Comments

  1. AMEN 👏🏼👍🏼♥️AMEN 👏🏼👍🏼♥️Thank You FOR sharing Deb 😊, GREAT Inspiration And ALOT Of Wisdom TO Put into USE ❗️👏🏼♥️G-d♥️Bless😊

    1. Thank you, Cheri! Have a wonderful week. God be with you and bless you!

  2. bettyblechacox1978@gmail.com says:

    Amen to all of the blessings.

  3. Rebecca King says:

    Numbers 7 and 8 are missing. Please email them to me.
    Rebecca

    1. Hi, Rebecca! That was an error on my part. I’m sorry. There are only eight points and I got carried away in putting the post together. Thanks for catching my flub. I have it corrected now. I so appreciate your visit and comment. God bless you!

  4. I think keeping promises is key to every trustworthy relationship, Deb. May we all strive to be faithful and true in all our relationships.
    Blessings!

    1. That is my prayer for us as well, Martha! Thanks much!

  5. For the last few months (I wish I had started years ago!) I have been telling myself that I need to be love because Jesus is love, He didn’t get into a tiff when people were mean or misunderstood Him. It usually is my pride causing me to be upset and angry. Let go and love. Sometimes it takes a while for me to remember, but it is helping. I suppose it’s similar to thinking “what would Jesus do” but easier, because the answer is always “love”.Blessings Deb x

    1. Dear Angela, I’ve been walking in the same shoe. When I’m ready to say or do something, I catch myself thinking, what would you do my Lord if you were here? It makes easier to remember the Scripture what Jesus said or did in each of the similar situations. My prayer is being able to love Him as He loves us….
      Lot’s of blessings

    2. I love that, Angela . . . be love because Jesus is love! Can you imagine what a difference His children could make in the world if we all practiced that simple phrase? God bless you!

  6. Marilyn Laite says:

    I actually think every single one of these is important. Oh how I wish I did they all well, but I don’t. These 2 speak to me the loudest. 1) Be someone who keeps promises. I have good intentions but I do not always follow through. 2) Be humble, kind and forgiving. If only I could do this always, but there are times I fail miserably. Thank you of the wonderful reminders of what our Lord Jesus taught and did perfectly. May I strive each day to become better.

    1. Hi, Marilyn! I think we all need grace and forgiveness from the Lord and from family and friends on occasion. I want to do my best to bless the people around me by applying these qualities but oh my, do I need the Lord’s help to make it possible. Thanks for visiting, for your encouragement, and for your honesty. God bless you!

  7. Claire Scott says:

    Your wisdom and ability to give to us blesses my life each morning. Some days I only devour a bit of a post. Thank you for your faithfulness to be used by God. Your posts certainly bless my life.

    1. Thank you so much for your kindness, Claire. Your encouragement truly blessed me. I love being able to share my love for the Lord in this way. Thank you for letting me know that you have been blessed and encouraged. God be with you!

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