Truth – It’s Important Not to Give Or Take Offense

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How quick are you to give or take offense when someone says or does something you dislike?

In a day and age when being the victim draws extra attention in person and on social media, easily offended people seem to be everywhere.

That’s been Paul’s point throughout Romans 14. He wanted people to love fellow believers, and understand that it’s important not to give or take offense. It’s why he started by telling them…

Accept other believers who are weak in faith, and don’t argue with them about what they think is right or wrong.

Romans 14:1

Like people everywhere, those attending the church in Rome had differing opinions about dietary restrictions and the Sabbath. So, Paul said, “Don’t argue!” Encouraging them to follow God’s personalized direction on anything that did not have His clear instructions.

That leads us to the issue of not giving or taking offense…

I know and am convinced on the authority of the Lord Jesus that no food, in and of itself, is wrong to eat. But if someone believes it is wrong, then for that person it is wrong. And if another believer is distressed by what you eat, you are not acting in love if you eat it. Don’t let your eating ruin someone for whom Christ died.

Romans 14:14–15

If the Spirit prompts a person to believe something is wrong, then it is wrong for them. And we can show our love for them by honoring that belief when we are with them.

The Life Application Bible Notes add…

Paul wants his readers to be both strong in the faith and sensitive to others’ needs. ‘If someone believes [something] is wrong, then for that person it is wrong.’ Paul’s practice was to honor, as far as possible, the convictions of others.”

Don’t be quick to give or take offense.

We are to be sensitive and caring towards the needs of fellow believers. If the Lord has convicted them about a weakness, we want to be caring enough to respect it. And … love them enough not to tempt them to go against God’s will for them.

On the other hand, if we have an area of weakness that another believer doesn’t realize or neglects around us, we want to be strong enough to quickly forgive and let it go.

But remember, we’re not talking about the things God has called sins. We’re dealing with people’s varying opinions on issues that are not clearly defined.

Paul wrote these words in his description of love…

[Love] does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. 

1 Corinthians 13:5

He wrote the following to the people arguing over circumcision…

For you have been called to live in freedom, my brothers and sisters. But don’t use your freedom to satisfy your sinful nature. Instead, use your freedom to serve one another in love. For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

Galatians 5:13–14

And this to believers in Ephesus…

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.

Ephesians 4:2

We can apply them all. If God’s Word calls something sinful, we are called to speak His truth in love. But when it comes to our non-specific beliefs and opinions, we are told to offer grace, mercy, and love.

Let’s pray…

A Prayer for God’s Help to Not
Give or Take Offense

Father God, Thank you for giving us Your Word to teach us Your will for our lives. You gave us specific commands, a list of things You call sins and clearly tell us to avoid. You gave us a list of Commandments and told us the things you hate. While He lived among us, Jesus gave a list of commands, as well.

You know everything about each of us, our strengths and weaknesses, because You created us for Your plans and purposes in this time. I have weaknesses that You want me to avoid but that may not be true for someone else. The goal for each of us is to honor You with all that we are and have.

Forgive me for believing that those things you want me to avoid must be avoided by everyone. I can so easily turn the boundaries You’ve given me into commandments for all. And I’m guilty of believing my preferences about worship styles, fashion, and music, etc., are rules to be followed.

I’m so sorry, Father. Please forgive me for being self-righteous, judgmental, and guick to give or take offense.

Thank you for loving me through Jesus. Thank you for the gift of faith. And thank you for giving Your Spirit to guide and direct. With His help, please help me trust and obey Your commands. Give me the patience and strength I need to love as You direct.

By Your grace, unite Your children. Help us love in ways that show the world the truth about Jesus. When we are tempted to be offended, fill us with Your love. And when we must speak the truth about Your commands, help us do so with gentleness and respect. In Jesus’ name, I pray. Amen.

Here are a couple of quotes that helped me…

“The feeling of being ‘offended’ is a warning indicator that is showing you where to look within yourself for unresolved issues.” ~ Bryant McGill

So let’s agree to use all our energy in getting along with each other. Help others with encouraging words; don’t drag them down by finding fault. 

Romans 14:19 (MSG)

“Just because we feel offended doesn’t mean we must be offended. Feelings are indicators not dictators.” ~ Lysa TerKeurst

I’m sure we could make a long list of things people find offensive. But I don’t want to focus on the things that divide us. I want us to center our hearts on the truth that unites us as God’s children.

Things like loving our Savior, and sharing His love by making every effort not to give or take offense.

May God be with you and give you everything you need to love well and surrender your feelings to the Lord.

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