You Need to Know How To Deal With Difficult People

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Everyone has one. Most have more than one.

Difficult people!

And as our pastor once said, “If you can’t think of one. You might want to look in the mirror.”

Dealing with difficult people is an important life skill.

It’s tempting to just try to avoid them, but that’s not what God’s Word tells us to do. So, let’s look at the Message paraphrase of Paul’s counsel to the church in Rome…

Each one of us needs to look after the good of the people around us, asking ourselves, “How can I help?”

That’s exactly what Jesus did. He didn’t make it easy for Himself by avoiding people’s troubles, but waded right in and helped out. “I took on the troubles of the troubled,” is the way Scripture puts it.

Even if it was written in Scripture long ago, you can be sure it’s written for us. God wants the combination of His steady, constant calling and warm, personal counsel in Scripture to come to characterize us, keeping us alert for whatever He will do next. 

Romans 15:2–4 (MSG)

God wants us to help each other. When it’s easy and yes, even when it’s difficult. Praise God! He gives us His Spirit to help us treat everyone graciously, in ways that honor Him.

5 Ways to Deal with Difficult People

1. Listen – To understand not to respond.

Don’t rush to assumptions. Listen carefully and prayerfully, so you can respond with patience and wisdom.

Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.

James 1:19

2. Help Where You Can – Offer grace and kindness where you can’t.

Speak the truth in love. Give godly advice and physical help when possible. Let the Holy Spirit guide you with patience and love.

The King will answer them, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did to me.

Matthew 25:40

3. Stay Calm – Don’t return anger with anger.

Calmly walk away from difficult conversations and behaviors. Sometimes a little space is the most loving thing to do in the moment.

 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. 

James 1:20

4. Remember You’re Not Alone – The Lord and His people are with you.

I sometimes wonder if there were days when Jesus got tired of dealing with difficult people. We don’t know. We do know that He dealt with them without sinning.

I think He received strength by spending quiet time alone with the Father. He took time to rest in Him and trusted the Father to give Him everything He needed each day.

Don’t be afraid, for I am with you.
    Don’t be discouraged, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you.
    I will hold you up with my victorious right hand.

Isaiah 41:10

5. Write this Helpful Reminder – And keep it where you can see it often.

With God’s help, I will put on mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, peace, and love.

The Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control..

Galatians 5:22–23a

Let’s pray…

A Prayer for God’s Help
Dealing with Difficult People

Father, our world is full of difficult people. We are all difficult at times. Yes, I admit I can be difficult too. I don’t want to be, but I know I can be stubborn and impatient at times. I know I fail to express my opinions with gentleness and respect. I know I can act like a whiny and frustrated child. Please forgive me.

I thank You for sending Jesus to save me. Today, I want to thank you for the ways He showed us how to love one another. Your Word is full of examples of difficult people. Even those who boldly proclaimed faith and love for You were difficult to deal with occasionally.

Only Jesus dealt with the people around Him perfectly. He not only told us that we should, but He showed us how to love. He patiently listened and offered grace and kindness. He peacefully walked away at times and willingly suffered at others.

He showed us how to live with mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, patience, forgiveness, peace, and love.

I surrender myself to Your care, Father. I pray that the Holy Spirit will be with me and that I will open my heart and mind to let Him guide and direct me.

By Your grace, please give the difficult people in my life what they need to live and love as You desire. In the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus, I pray. Amen.

Remember, everyone has a story filled with painful seasons. Everyone has been hurt by someone.

Sometimes…

“Difficult people are often the ones who need our love and understanding the most.” ~ Anonymous

So, let’s choose patience and kindness. We don’t have to condone bad behavior, but we don’t have to join it either.

Let’s think of difficult people as teachers who are giving us valuable opportunities to learn forgiveness and self-control. They can help us understand our emotions and give us opportunities to practice peace.

Finally, let’s remember that our God can do the impossible. He can give us everything we need to control our responses and reactions. He can even transform difficult people with His grace, mercy, and love.

May God bless you today with everything you need to deal with the difficult people in your life.

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