How to Handle Hateful Conflict With Truth and Love
How do you handle hateful conflict? How should you and I love people who are selfish, divisive, and cruel?
How are we to love individuals so determined to get their own way that they will say and do anything to manipulate an outcome?
How do you and I love as God commands?
John wrote…
Dear friends, let us continue to love one another, for love comes from God. Anyone who loves is a child of God and knows God. But anyone who does not love does not know God, for God is love.
1 John 4:7–8
Human love originated with God. God is love, and He sent Jesus to show us how to handle hateful conflict with love.
God showed how much He loved us by sending His one and only Son into the world so that we might have eternal life through Him. This is real love—not that we loved God, but that He loved us and sent His Son as a sacrifice to take away our sins.
1 John 4:9–10
Culture wants us to believe that loving like Jesus means affirming whatever someone feels, says, or does. But insisting that people agree with our sinful, selfish feelings, words, and actions is not love. And smiling while going along with people whose sin is hurting them is not love.
Got Questions defines love as God gave it, like this…
Love is the emotion felt and actions performed by someone concerned for the well-being of another person. Love involves affection, compassion, care, and self-sacrifice.
And the Life Application Bible Notes say…
The world thinks that love is what makes a person feel good and that it is all right to sacrifice moral principles and others’ rights in order to obtain such “love.” But that isn’t real love; it is the exact opposite—selfishness.
When you and I want to love like Jesus, we are told to speak the truth with gentleness and respect.
Paul wrote…
We won’t be tossed and blown about by every wind of new teaching. We will not be influenced when people try to trick us with lies so clever they sound like the truth. Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of His body, the church.
Ephesians 4:14–15
And Peter wrote…
You must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. But do this in a gentle and respectful way.
1 Peter 3:15–16a
So, how do we handle hateful conflict?
- Pray for Discernment – pray for God’s guidance, if it’s not a Biblical truth about a moral issue, let it go. If it is … pray for God to direct the discussion.
- Listen – give the person with whom you’re in conflict an opportunity to state their thoughts clearly.
- Repeat – state what you understood them to say and make sure you heard them correctly.
- Ask – kindly request the freedom to share your thoughts about the issue.
- Explain – the truth about God’s will, love, and forgiveness in a “gentle and respectful way.”
The goal is to plant seeds of God’s truth, continue to be caring and kind, and leave the rest to the Holy Spirit.
Let’s pray…
A Prayer to Handle Hateful Conflict
with God’s Love and Truth
Father, our world is full of ugliness. It feels like people are taking sides on more and more issues, and rather than seeking the truth, we allow feelings and opinions to rule the day.
We shouldn’t be surprised. Jesus said this would happen. He said His followers would be hated and people would turn against us. Yet, Your Word tells us to SEEK and KNOW Your TRUTH. It tells us to share our faith and hope with gentleness and respect.
It also tells us that there will be some who call themselves Christians whose lies and false teaching will influence and deceive.
Oh, how we need Your Spirit’s help. Forgive us for willingly giving in and failing to handle hateful conflict as You want. Forgive us for failing to SEEK Your TRUTH when we are presented with popular worldly ideas that go against Your Word.
Please help me manage my thoughts and my time. May I take what people say and compare it to what You’ve said. Make me someone who consistently SEEKS You and what You want before I accept any opinions that are presented to me.
The enemy has always lied through false teachers. Please help me identify and reject them so that I might continue to stand on the firm foundation that is my Lord and Savior, Jesus. It’s in His name, I pray. Please fill me with Your TRUTH and LOVE. Amen.
I’m holding on to the following quote…
“For the Christian, conflict is not something to avoid or ignore. It is an opportunity for the triumph of grace.” ~ David Mathis at Desiring God
It’s possible you feel unsafe having these difficult conversations, depending on the person involved. If that is the case, pray faithfully and ask the Lord to lead them to His truth. Ask Him to help you know when to speak and what to say.
Remember how the Spirit inspired Paul to define love in action…
Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
1 Corinthians 13: 4–7
When you and I handle hateful conflict by speaking the truth with patience and kindness, we won’t demand our own way in anger, but will remain caring and hopeful.
When we listen with compassion and speak the truth in love with gentleness and respect, we plant seeds that offer the blessing of God’s transforming love.
So plant those seeds of God’s truth and love, pray, and trust the Holy Spirit to heal hearts and provide growth.
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“The Holy Spirit is a healing spirit. When the Holy Spirit is present, anything is possible.” ~ Reinhard Bonnke
May God give you everything you need to handle hateful conflict with truth and love.
Thank You Deb , very helpful information in these times. May God Bless You and Your Team of Believers ✨.
Thank you for visiting, Robert, and for your encouragement. God bless you!
And we have a Helper!!!
We weren’t meant to do life alone. God gave us Jesus Christ and His Holy Spirit. To help us manage our thoughts, and to help us use the right words at the right time with the right tone. And let’s face it…we need all the help we can get!
Thank You Father God…for Jesus and the Spirit’s presence in my life. Don’t know where i would be or do otherwise…but 1 thing is for sure…it wouldn’t be as bright, nor colorful, nor would I be changing nor growing from the inside out.
I couldn’t do it without the Spirit, JoAnne. Without Him, I would either argue on my own or run in retreat. We are so blessed that the Spirit goes with us and reminds us of our Savior’s love and truth. God be with you and bless you!
This is precisely how Charlie Kirk interacted with those who didn’t agree with him; he offered them an opportunity to state their stance and why, he listened respectfully and attentively, and gave his own take on the state of things with love and truth. We all should strive to be just like that for Jesus’ sake. Blessings, Deb!
Amen, Martha! Charlie was a very powerful witness for our Lord and Savior. He listened and spoke the truth. May God give us all the patience to do the same. Blessings and HUGS, dear friend!
Hello, Deb,
I hope this finds you in good health.
We need to focus on the principles of seeking guidance, responding with humility and God’s truth.
We need to pray, trust the Holy Spirit, practice forgiveness and pray for others.
Show grace instead of criticism, serve others, and show God’s love through your actions and words, setting a godly example.
Deb, please pray for the various ministries God has entrusted to my husband and me. We ask for wisdom and strength as we lead, and that God’s Word will powerfully impact the hearts of those we serve.
My husband and I are traveling in November.
I hope
Deb, may the rest of the year be filled
with moments of joy, laughter, and may you find peace in every day. Shalom!
“ The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”
– Deuteronomy 31:8
In His Kingdom,
Raquel G.
Amen, Raquel. We must pray first! Pray for to know God’s truth, seek His guidance, and respond with humility and love. May our Lord bless you as you serve Him in ministry. Thanks for praying and sharing that verse from Deuteronomy. It blessed me! May the Lord go before you and bless you as you travel. Blessings to you!
This is very helpful. I have been convicted over and over that as a Christian I am to love people, as they are made in God’s image, but some of them are really hard to love! Thanks for some guidelines as to how to speak to them in love! God bless
I like the way you wrote that, LeAnne. Thank you for your kind encouragement. God bless you!!
We all have the option to agree to disagree! This is a way we can show love and respect for another’s views. As Martha said, Charlie Kirk exhibited this quality! Unfortunately, there are those
who are so set on their views or opinions there is no way to have a logical conversation with them.
Some folks just love a good argument. I don’t like to argue. I walk away.
The scriptures you quoted and your prayer you gave much to ponder.
You are always right on point.
I pray that you have a wonderful day and rest of this week. I treasure your friendship.
I don’t like to argue either, Sue. I working on learning to listen and speak the truth calmly. It’s not easy for sure. I keep praying and asking the Lord to give the words He wants me to speak, when He wants me to speak them. Only by grace. Have a wonderful day, sweet friend! HUGS!