You loved big and now you’re left hurt and angry.
Yesterday we talked about surviving rejection, but the truth is Jesus didn’t tell us to simply survive . . . He told us to forgive and love.
“I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.Luke 6:35–36 (MSG)
Really! You want to get even. Hurt the person who broke your heart. Tell everyone who will listen just how terribly you were treated.
Was Jesus asking the impossible?
[Tweet “Jesus will never ask you to do something His Spirit is unable to help you accomplish.”]
Here are some things you can do with Holy Spirit help to love the person who hurt you.
How to Love the Person Who Broke Your Heart
1. Choose to forgive. Forgiving is obedience. No excuses. No exceptions. Forgive. Not for them but for you. Forgiving will give you the freedom to live and love.
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.Colossians 3:13–14
2. Accept your inability to change them. It’s hard to admit that I am the only one I am able to change. I can’t make someone love me. You can’t either. Leave the work of changing hearts to God. Let it go and leave it to God. Trust His ability to change you.
A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people. Gently instruct those who oppose the truth. Perhaps God will change those people’s hearts, and they will learn the truth.2 Timothy 2:24–25
3. Stop telling the details of your story to anyone but God. There are multiple sides to every story, and some of this story is not yours to tell. You may find it helpful to talk about your feelings, but trashing the person who hurt you won’t help long-term. Remember once you speak details with someone you have no control over what they do with them.
Take the specifics of your broken heart to God in prayer and leave them with Him.
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted; He rescues those whose spirits are crushed.Psalm 34:18
4. Pray for the person who hurt you. I know you don’t really want to, but it’s obedience. Do it anyway. It will help. I promise. You can’t hate someone you pray for.
But I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you!Matthew 5:44
5. Ask for help. If you need to be with people . . . ask. If you need time alone . . . let people know. If you need someone to cry with you . . . tell them. Invite people to keep you in prayer. People won’t know what you need unless you ask.
“Refusing to ask for help when you need it is refusing someone the chance to be helpful.” ~Ric Ocasek
6. Remember God may be protecting you from something much worse than rejection.
“He saw you cast into a river of life you didn’t request. He saw you betrayed by those you love. He saw you with a body that gets sick and a heart that grows weak. He saw you in your own garden of gnarled trees and sleeping friends. He saw you staring into the pit of your own failures and the mouth of your own grave. He saw you in your own garden of Gethsemane and He didn’t want you to be alone … He would rather go to hell for you than to heaven without you.”~Max Lucado
Finally, keep your heart tender and full of compassion. Forgive. Keep loving. Stay open to the power of the Holy Spirit and enjoy the blessings of:
“love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.”Galatians 5:22–23
By God’s grace, I will never stop loving, waiting, and watching.
How has God helped you love someone who broke your heart?
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