How to Stop Comparing, Embrace Humility, and Love

Why would you want to compare yourself with anyone else? It's like comparing DNA or fingerprints. You are one of a kind. Stop Comparing.

Monday I asked you to rate yourself from 1 to 10 on the humility scale.

Proud  1    2    3    4    5    6    7     8    9    10  Humble

I’ve spent hours since thinking about numbers and how we rate ourselves.

The number on the scale.
The number of degrees, awards, or trophies.
The number of friends and followers on social media.
The number of page views on our blogs.

Or use the word size – just another word for number.

The size on our clothing.
The size of our home.
The size of our cars.
The size of our bank accounts.

We love to rate, rank, and compare don’t we?

But there’s a problem. It’s hard to be genuinely humble when we’re comparing ourselves to each other. Humiliated sometimes, but humble . . . not so much.

Because when we’re comparing we’re either better or worse than. We’re either puffed up or deflated. Feeling great or well, you get the idea.

True humility doesn’t compare. True humility loves.

God is not nicer to princes than other people, nor kinder to rich people than poor people, because he made them all with his own hands. Job 34:19

But if you treat one person as being more important than another, you are sinning. You are guilty of breaking God’s law. James 2:9

God’s will for us is always counter-cultural isn’t it?

The world says make friends in high places. God says, Have the same concern for everyone. Do not be proud, but accept humble duties. Do not think of yourselves as wise. Romans 12:16

We will never have the kind of humility God wants for us as long as we’re comparing ourselves to  each other. Because comparison will always get in the way of love.

Imagine what could happen if we decided to stop. If we each decided to do our personal best and love like Jesus.

I love The Message translation of Galatians 6:4–5

Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don’t be impressed with yourself. Don’t compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.

Sink yourself into the work you’ve been given to do. Take responsibility. Do your best. AND don’t be impressed with yourself.

That’s pretty direct isn’t it?

Add verses 7–8

Don’t be misled: No one makes a fool of God. What a person plants, he will harvest. The person who plants selfishness, ignoring the needs of others—ignoring God!—harvests a crop of weeds. All he’ll have to show for his life is weeds! But the one who plants in response to God, letting God’s Spirit do the growth work in him, harvests a crop of real life, eternal life.

God isn’t comparing you to anyone else and we all fall short of His perfection.

It’s really not as complicated as we make it.

Do your best to live out God’s personal plans and purposes for you. 

You have a God-given assignment.

Why would you want to compare yourself with anyone else. It’s like comparing DNA or fingerprints. You are one of a kind. God’s plans for you are special and specific. And that’s true for every person who has ever walked this planet.

Why would you want to compare yourself with anyone else? It's like comparing DNA or fingerprints. You are one of a kind. Stop Comparing.

Quotes to Think About:

“We will never find our vocations by trying to figure out whether we are better or worse than others. We are good enough to do what we are called to do. Be yourself!” ~Henri Nouwen

“Don’t compare the inside of you to the outside of anyone else.” ~Anonymous

“I’m not equipped to handle what she has, both good and bad and what she has is always a package deal of both. In other words, I’ve been assigned a load I can handle.” ~Lysa TerKeurst

“Comparison is the death of joy.” ~Mark Twain

“Peter must have thought, “Who am I compared to Mr. Faithfulness (John)?” But Jesus clarified the issue. John was responsible for John. Peter was responsible for Peter. And each had only one command to heed: “Follow Me.” (John 21:20-22)” ~ Charles R. Swindoll

Now, I have a question for you…

What will you do to stop comparing and start being uniquely you?

10 Ways to Stop Comparing

  1. Celebrate every small success and thank God.
  2. Be thankful for and use your God-given gifts and abilities.
  3. Do your best.
  4. Remember . . . everyone has problems and pain.
  5. Determine you want to love others well – without comparison or judgment.
  6. Forgive quickly – yourself and others.
  7. Pray – Ask God help you live His plans. Ask Him to affirm and encourage you.
  8. Replace negative thoughts with the truth of God’s love.
  9. Refuse to dwell on things you can’t change or control.
  10. Memorize Jeremiah 29:11 – I know what I am planning for you,” says theLord. “I have good plans for you, not plans to hurt you. I will give you hope and a good future.

Back to numbers. 

One thing I’m doing to stop comparing is I’m taking a numbers fast. I’m going to avoid focusing on statistics and followers . . . and spend my time doing my best to honor God with my writing and asking Him to use it as He wills.

Maybe you’re not big on blog and social media comparing, but wherever you’re tempted to envy or judge consider taking a break and see how much freedom and joy will replace your negative thoughts.

Now it’s time for…

Faith ‘n Friends Blog Hop

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I’m so glad you’re here!

This is a place to share faith, make friends, and have fun.

I’d love to connect with you on social media!

Deb Wolf
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Feature Post

I’m excited to share two posts with you this week.

4 Steps Toward Conquering Comparisons

by Kristine Brown
Guest Post
@ Dr. Michelle Bengston

Ask-Dr-B-4-Steps-Toward-Conquering-Comparison-300x167

Thank you, Michelle, for sharing Kristine’s post
and for joining the Blog Hop!

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18 comments

  1. Tiffney Holmes says:

    Hey Deb, what can I say…there’s a lot here that I need to deal with. Not only do I have my own comparison issues, but I also thought about how I compare my children to others. I’m going to read this post again and add it to my daily quiet time to really take in all that your saying. Thanks so much for sharing and and have a blessed Mother’s Day!
    Tiffney Holmes recently posted..A Rainbow of Reflection on MotherhoodMy Profile

  2. Michele Morin
    Twitter:
    says:

    Such good words from Paul, and I really needed that reminder to throw myself into what I’m doing without looking to the right or to the left. The Lord is giving you words, Deb. Thanks for sharing them.

  3. Betsy
    Twitter:
    says:

    This is such good encouragement, Deb. I love how you weave practical application and spiritual wisdom together! Thanks. I’ve seen a lot on the Web lately about comparison. The Holy Spirit must be speaking!

  4. Karen Grosz
    Twitter:
    says:

    Beautiful words. I love your 10 ways to stop comparing. One of the things I am committed to doing is when I catch myself in comparison, I stop and I say a prayer for the person I am comparing myself to. Helps.

  5. Martha Orlando
    Twitter:
    says:

    Comparing ourselves to other is a recipe for poisoning our souls. Thank you for reminding us that God has made us unique with our own set of gifts to share, and that should be good enough for us any day!
    Blessings, Deb, and have a wonderful weekend!
    Martha Orlando recently posted..On a ShoestringMy Profile

  6. Dawn
    Twitter:
    says:

    Yes. Just doing our personal best and loving Jesus sounds like a good plan to me. Thank you for sharing these encouraging and wise words today, Deb. You are a blessing.

  7. Kim Jolly
    Twitter:
    says:

    Deb, Like so many, I struggle with comparing myself with others. It’s not a good plan. God’s plan for my life is so much different than what others are doing; that is as it should be. Thank you for this lovely reminder.

    Blessings!
    Kim Jolly recently posted..Happy Mother’s Day!My Profile

  8. Stefani says:

    Oh how I love this post! This exact subject had been on my mind and I’m sorry to say I have fallen into pride and the comparison game. Thanks for speaking such great truth! This is so encouraging!

  9. Pam
    Twitter:
    says:

    Very very well done, Deb! Right on all points! I am a recovering “comparer”. I know this has not been the issue it once was, but starting my website a year ago caused it to rear its head a bit more. Blessings on your weekend and a blessed Mother’s Day to you!

  10. Pamela
    Twitter:
    says:

    UGH! That old comparison trap. I do believe the devil has overused this ploy on women. Just when I think I’ve got a handle on it, it hits again! I’m going to write your 10 ways so I can read it often. What a awesome post!

  11. Dawn says:

    The number thing, Deb. Oh, the way it can warp our ability to let joy hold our hearts instead of the power that numbers hold in our daily journey. So many ways we could forfeit His grace when we let them control our thoughts. Thanks for this reminder. I love the quotes and and the list of practical truths was a blessing today.
    Love,
    Dawn

  12. Jennifer Clarke
    Twitter:
    says:

    In this world of social media, it’s never been easier to compare ourselves with each other – and the thing is, we hardly ever compare ourselves with the true, full story, but only the snippets we see on Facebook and Instagram. Thank you for pointing us toward the truth, and for sharing your wisdom at Grace & Truth!

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