How to Live with Proud and Entitled People
They’re everywhere. You may even live with one or two or…
The proud, entitled, gotta have it my way, overbearing, snooty, difficult to get along with… whatever you call them.
It’s hard not to get caught up in their drama. It’s hard not to lose your temper. It’s hard not to let them rob your joy. These people who live their lives with a sense of superiority, self-importance, and entitlement. Whew!
But proud and entitled people are part of life. And no one said relationships would be easy!
So, now it’s up to you and me to live and work with proud and arrogant people, apply Godly wisdom and stay humble. Easy right?
How to Live with Proud and Entitled People
Proud and entitled people are defensive and protective of their public image. How they are perceived is more important than who they are. They may appear confident, but in general, they are not.
Keeping that in mind… here are 10 things to do or resist doing to co-exist with entitled people well.
1. Remember who you are – Created by God and loved by Him.
“You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power because you made all things. Everything existed and was made because you wanted it.” Revelation 4:11
“Though we are incomplete, God loves us completely. Though we are imperfect, He loves us perfectly. Though we may feel lost and without compass, God’s love encompasses us completely. … He loves every one of us, even those who are flawed, rejected, awkward, sorrowful, or broken.”
~Dieter F. Uchtdorf
2. Refuse to take words or actions personally – Remember words and actions of others speaks more of them than it does of you.
Where jealousy and selfishness are, there will be confusion and every kind of evil. But the wisdom that comes from God is first of all pure, then peaceful, gentle, and easy to please. James 3:16–17
“You can’t let praise or criticism get to you. It’s a weakness to get caught up in either one.” ~John Wooden
3. Remain patient – God may be using them to teach you patience and using you to show them His love.
May the patience and encouragement that come from God allow you to live in harmony with each other the way Christ Jesus wants. Romans 15:5
Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8
4. Refrain from angry confrontation – Don’t let yourself get drawn into bad behavior.
My dear brothers and sisters, always be willing to listen and slow to speak. Do not become angry easily, because anger will not help you live the right kind of life God wants. James 1:19—20
“Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” ~Ambrose Bierce
5. Remain unemotional – Stay calm – you won’t make humble wise choices if you’re upset.
The wise say very little, and those with understanding stay calm. Proverbs 17:27
“Never be in a hurry; do everything quietly and in a calm spirit. Do not lose your inner peace for anything whatsoever, even if your whole world seems upset.” Saint Francis de Sales
6. Resist feeding their ego through flattery – Encouragement is sincere, flattery is manipulation for personal gain.
These people are grumblers and complainers, living only to satisfy their desires. They brag loudly about themselves, and they flatter others to get what they want. Jude 16
“The trouble with most of us is that we’d rather be ruined by praise than saved by criticism.” ~Norman Vincent Peale
7. Resolve to be polite and kind always – Practice. Practice. Practice. Shine His light by being kind and polite, even when it’s hard.
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32
“Kindness is just love with its work boots on.” ~Author unknown
8. Rest within careful wise boundaries – Limit the amount of time you spend together if possible. Limit the number of words you use. Make limits so you can maintain a positive attitude.
Commit everything you do to the Lord. Trust Him, and he will help you. Be still in the presence of the Lord, and wait patiently for Him to act. Don’t worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Psalm 37:5,7
“A strong strand throughout the Bible stresses that you are to GIVE to needs and put LIMITS on sin. Boundaries help you do just that.” ~Henry Cloud
9. Pray for them – You may feel helpless and frustrated. That’s completely understandable. But you’re not! You are connected to the One who loves you. And guess what? He loves them too! So lift them up. Ask God to work in them and use you: however, He will.
I say, love your enemies! Pray for those who persecute you! In that way, you will be acting as true children of your Father in heaven. Matthew 5:44–45
“Talking to men for God is a great thing, but talking to God for men is greater still.” ~E.M. Bounds
Wouldn’t it be nice if relationships were just easy? If everyone was kind and caring, compassionate and humble? If we could deal with difficult people perfectly?
Absolutely!
But they’re not and the truth is you and I have moments of pride and entitlement too.
Offer grace and mercy. The same grace and mercy that has been poured over you. Stay loving and humble, and pray . . . pray . . . pray.
Thanks SO much for this post! It comes at the perfect time as I am having an internal struggle because of two of these difficult people. I’ve shared this post on facebook and am going to try to print it to pray over in my quiet time corner. God bless you for your helpfulness. You are a blessing by passing on His teachings. Thanks again.
I’m so glad this blessed you, Ruth! Yes, it’s true, proud and entitled people are everywhere. Now to just be able to not let them control my attitude. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and saying ‘hello.’
You sure are right about that!
I wrote a blog post after I prayed through your points above titled “God is my Hero”.
If you go to my website, it is the most recent post. The most difficult people in my life have gotten worse due to dementia, so I need God to fight for me and be my Hero.
Thanks again for the encouraging words! 🙂
As always, your advice is perfect, Deb! I especially like the quote from John Wooden -sums it up in a nutshell.
Blessings!
Thank you, Martha! I liked that quote too! Wooden certainly shared a lot of wise advice with those he coached over the years. So glad we are able to benefit from his wisdom as well. Blessings!
What a good word, Deb!
Love the steps to live with proud and entitled people.
I just read #5 the other day. The book I was reading suggested you even answer in unemotional ways… like “really?” or “that’s interesting.”
Working on staying calm and reacting less!
Sharing this one all around in the morning!
Blessings,
Melanie
It’s not easy to stay calm, but it certainly makes a difference. The best reminder I give myself is that I’m probably not going to change the other person no matter what I say. The changing is up to God. All I can do is control myself. Not to just remember and apply! <3
so.much.wisdom here Deb!I love how you give practical tips with bible verses. I don’t have any one like this in my family, really (praise the Lord) but I do have some of them I attend church with. Honestly it’s VERY difficult to serve with them. I really REALLY have to pray through about it. But you’re right…we all have moments of pride and entitlement so I must remember that! I’m stuffing this article in pocket for future reference!
It’s tough isn’t it, Shannon. I’m addressing pride in the church tomorrow. Oh, how I wish we could be free of it there. But you put a bunch of sinful people together and you get a mixture of messiness. Thanks for your encouragement. Blessings and hugs!
Remember Who You Are, I love that this is #1. Whether their actions or attitude causes pain or hurt, I need to remember ME and who I am, a child of God who was created and loved by Him. I love that! Thanks Deb for this encouragement and for linking up with Thankful Thursdays.
Deb, Like everyone, I have those I struggle with–including a relative–a relative I rarely see or hear from. He’s a challenge to be sure. He doesn’t seem to have an entitlement mentality–he just wants people to do what he thinks they should do or ELSE. I love him but….
I do need to make sure to pray for him more than I do.
Blessings!
I realize this is an older post however, God saw fit that I see it today. I have been needing these exact words in my life in dealing with someone very difficult. So thank you for your guidance!
What about a wife?
That’s a really tough question. I think we all have a little bit of pride and entitlement in us. With that being said, it’s a hard situation because marriage works the best when partners treat each other with respect and humility. I believe prayer is important and I encourage you to ask God to work in your marriage. I also believe that we can only change ourselves … we can’t change others. So … I when I have a relationship that isn’t working, I pray and ask God what I might do to improve things. Just some thoughts. Thanks so much for stopping by and saying hello. I’m praying for you!