The Most Important Thing You Need To Quiet Your Inner Bully

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Everyone talks to themselves. What does your inner voice say to you? Is it your friend or do you need to quiet your inner bully? Good news - there is help. #SelfTalk #Innerbully #MeanPeople #CountingMyBlessings #WWGGG #BlessingBloggers

The truth is . . . everyone talks to themselves.

Some of us talk out loud—because well, it can feel like no one else is listening! Am I right?

But even if you don’t actually say the words aloud, everyone has an inner voice that is rarely if ever silent.

So, stop with me for a moment and answer a quick question…

Is your inner voice:

  • Your friend or foe?
  • Your cheerleader or opposition?
  • Your inspiration or frustration?
  • Your source of encouragement or criticism?

Okay, you get the idea!

I’ve read countless articles, headlines, and quotes all urging people to follow their inner voice, but that is only beneficial when your inner voice gives helpful counsel … advice full of truth and wisdom. Or when it is your best cheerleader full of inspiration and positivity.

But for most of us, our inner voice is not consistently wise or positive and when it’s not . . . there’s a problem.

Because we all tend to believe whatever we tell ourselves most often.

So, if our inner voice is a “bully,” you and I will spend much of our time feeling discouraged and defeated. How do I know? Because I’ve been fighting the negative thoughts of my inner bully for much of my life.

I’m a first-born people-pleaser good girl. My inner critic is loud and persistent. I’m critical of things I think I can and should control and things I can’t. I beat myself up over things I’ve said and done and sometimes I even feel guilty about things that have been done by others.

Rev often says, “if anyone should feel guilty about anything, he can count me to cover that base.

But God doesn’t want that for me and He doesn’t want it for you either. And with His help, I’m working on believing what He says about me not what my inner bully says.

If you’re fighting an inner bully . . . you may want to join me in my faith walk to trust God’s truth and quiet the rest.

The Most Important Thing You Need To Quiet Your Inner Bully

Everyone talks to themselves. What does your inner voice say to you? Is it your friend or do you need to quiet your inner bully? Good news - there is help. #SelfTalk #Innerbully #MeanPeople #CountingMyBlessings #WWGGG #BlessingBloggers

♥ Intentionally fill your heart and mind with God’s truth.  

The enemy is a bully and a liar. Satan wants to defeat and discourage you and me, and he will consistently fill our thoughts with messages that oppress us to keep us from functioning in God’s will.

The Holy Spirit is not.

He is called the:

  • Counselor – John 14:6
  • Helper – Hebrews 13:6
  • Comforter – John 14:16
  • Spirit of Truth – John 15:26
  • Spirit of Life – Romans 8:2
  • Spirit of Wisdom and Understanding – Isaiah 11:2

And when you and I surrender to the work of God’s Holy Spirit in our lives we shine with…

 love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Galatians 5:22b–23a

And those beautiful qualities that change our attitudes and that leads to changing our thoughts, words, and actions.

We have a choice. We can listen to the temptations and taunts of the enemy or we can concentrate what the Holy Spirit says about us…

The Spirit says you and I are:

Dearly Loved

The Father Himself loves you dearly because you love me. 

John 16:27

Completely Forgiven

He has removed our sins as far from us as the east is from the west.

Psalm 103:12

Wonderfully Made

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139


The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior; my God is my rock, in whom I find protection. He is my shield, the power that saves me, and my place of safety.

Psalm 18:2

Guided and Watched Over

The Lord says, “I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you.”

Psalm 32:8

Fully Known

The very hairs on your head are all numbered

You know what I am going to say even before I say it, Lord.

Matthew 10:30 and Psalm 139:4
Everyone talks to themselves. What does your inner voice say to you? Is it your friend or do you need to quiet your inner bully? Good news - there is help. #SelfTalk #Innerbully #MeanPeople #CountingMyBlessings #WWGGG #BlessingBloggers


In Christ lives all the fullness of God in a human body. So you also are complete through your union with Christ, who is the head over every ruler and authority.

Colossians 2:9–10

Have a Living Everlasting Hope

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In His great mercy He has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade. This inheritance is kept in heaven for you.

1 Peter 1:3–4

Stop for a moment and read the list again!

Do you really believe those things are true about you?

If that’s the way God sees His children…

I wonder why we’re so quick to focus on our flaws and failures rather than pausing to praise Him for the progress He’s helping us to realize?

Please tell me I’m not alone here.

I imagine you’ve seen the word THINK as an acrostic for what we should ask ourselves before we speak to others.

What if we started asking the same questions before we “talked” to ourselves.

Is it…

  • True?
  • Helpful?
  • Inspiring?
  • Necessary?
  • Kind?

How does your inner voice do with that list?

Mine is TERRIBLE! When I look in the mirror. When I get on the scale. When I think back on my words and actions . . . my failures and shortcomings.

The what about the Galatians 5 list of the Fruit of the Spirit.

What if we asked ourselves…

  • How well do I love myself?
  • How patient am I with my shortcomings?
  • How kind am I when I need care and compassion?
  • How good am I to my physical, emotional, and spiritual health?
  • How faithful am I to focusing on things that are pure, lovely, true, and admirable?
  • How gentle am I when I need help and encouragement?
  • How self-controlled am I in what I say to myself?

You see, I don’t believe God wants us to beat ourselves up incessantly. I believe He wants us to focus on His truth.

Paul said the following to the Ephesians:

I have had one message for Jews and Greeks alike—the necessity of repenting from sin and turning to God, and of having faith in our Lord Jesus.

Acts 20:21

And through faith, forgiveness, and the help of the Holy Spirit; follow Paul’s words to the Philippians:

Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise. 

Philippians 4:8

Wouldn’t our days be better if you and I focused on the truth that we are God’s masterpiece, dearly loved and wonderfully made? That we are fully known and completely forgiven? What if those were the messages our inner voices spoke to us throughout the day?

What if you and I faithfully remembered that in Christ we have a purpose and that God is willing and able to help each of us accomplish it.

That He is able to meet all your needs.

You can do everything through Christ who gives you strength.

For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength. 

Philippians 4:13

I believe it’s time for us to quiet our inner bully!

It’s time to refuse to allow discouragement to defeat us one minute longer. It’s time for us to make up our minds that with God’s help the next time we look in the mirror (and every time thereafter), we will see someone who is dearly loved and precious to God.

I love the following quote by Stormie Omartian:

It’s not about finding ways to avoid God’s judgment and feeling like a failure if you don’t do everything perfectly. It’s about fully experiencing God’s love and letting it perfect you. It’s not about being somebody you are not. It’s about becoming who you really are. 

The someone He created you to be.

You and I can have a fresh start right now. We can…

  1. Ask God to help us become the person we were created to be.
  2. Ask Him to help us quiet our negative inner voice and replace it with His Spirit’s truth.
  3. Ask Him to assure us and fill us with His love.

I’m inspired to do some serious negative thought tossing.  I’m ready to quiet my inner bully by refusing to focus on my failures.

By God’s grace, I am forgiven. I am loved.

And so are you!

Say the following often…

I am loved.

My failures do not define me.

I am forgiven.

I am one of a kind.

I have a purpose.

God has a plan for me.

God will meet my needs.

With God’s help, I can do this!

I will not give up!

I will try again!

I will celebrate every victory God gives me!

I am loved by the God of the universe —
Father/Creator who made me.
Jesus/Redeemer who saved me.
Spirit of Truth who strengthens me.
The Triune God … who calls me “Beloved.”

Now, Say it over and over again until it sinks deep into every part of you. Tape it to your mirror. Add it to your phone. Carry it in your heart and with God’s help make that the message you THINK whenever the enemy uses your inner voice to bully you.

And click here for a printable copy of the things to remember:

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  1. I am going to print out what you’ve offered here, Deb, to constantly remind me to whom I belong and by whom I am loved. No more bullying thoughts! And no, I hadn’t seen this acronym for “think.” It’s perfect!

    1. Thanks so much, Martha! I hope you are enjoying a good week! It’s always great to hear from you! Blessings and hugs!

  2. Such a good message ! Thank you! I to am a first-born good girl! Thanks for your encouragement!

    1. We first-born daughters can be hard on ourselves, can’t we! I’m so glad you were encouraged here. I’m asking God to faithfully remind you of just how precious and loved you are! God bless you!

  3. OMG this is so me thanks for sharing

    1. I’m so glad it blessed you, Castella! May you be blessed!

  4. Ndaningashike says:

    Very inspiring word that have touch my soul, Am glad I stumbled into this word today. Thank you and May God be with you

    1. Thank you so much! I appreciate your encouragement and kindness. God bless you!

  5. Thank you for this! My inner voice is a bully a lot of the time, and sometimes I really struggle to seem myself through God’s eyes.

    1. Me too, Meghan! I want to do a better job of remembering who God says I am and I’m praying that for you as well. God bless you!

  6. Hello Deb

    I have trouble sleeping and many times have turned to reading these emails you send out, as a way of quieting my thoughts, that keep me awake. Your spirit filled words are like getting a warm hug from our Lord.

    Thank you and may the lord continue to give you His wonderful insights of just how much Jesus loves us. You are a blessing to me for sure!

    1. Thank you, DJ! I’m so glad you were blessed and able to rest! I really appreciate your kind encouragement. God bless you!

  7. Cheri Mello says:

    GREAT ARTICLE ????????????????♥️????????Thank You SO MUCH for the inspiration Deb????????!! Apparently I’VE STILL been Struggling with THIS ????!! I KNOW IM STRESSED But didn’t Realize I’m Bullying Myself!! AND I WILL try AGAIN to PRINT The Verse You Had. Thanks AGAIN For SharingIT MADE My DAY !!! G-d♥️Bless

    1. Thank you, Cheri! Praying God blesses you with His peace, love, and encouragement. God be with you!

  8. Angela Cahill says:

    Hi Deb,
    Thank you so much for your inspiring and thought provoking article, “quieten your inner bully”.
    I have reflected deeply on your words to remember and have written them down on the inside of my prayer book.
    I have taken them to heart and will look at them daily to remind me of my worth and that I’m safe in God’s plan for my life (no matter how difficult my life is right now), drowning out the discouragement, the enemy would have me believe. May God bless you for sharing your insights with us.
    Angela – Dublin, Ireland

    1. Welcome, Angela. Thanks so much for stopping by and for joining me on the journey of quieting our miserable inner bully. May you be encouraged and blessed by God’s love every day!

      1. Angela Cahill says:

        Thank you Deb, may God bless you in your work and wisdom. Your article on P.E.A.C.E. has inspired me this morning to surrender to God’s will, to pray often about everything, thanking Him…….and claiming His wonderful gift of “peace”. You are a wonderful ‘light’ shining in the darkness!
        Love & blessings
        Angela – Dublin Ireland

        1. Oh, Angela, I’m so glad you visited and your kind encouragement is such a lovely blessing. May you be blessed by His presence and peace. God bless you!

          1. Angela Cahill says:

            Hi Deb, may He bless you too! Your Spirit filled insights bring with them His peace.
            Thank you!
            God be with you always!

  9. Anastasia Radecki says:

    Hello Deb,
    I’m sooooo glad, thankful & blessed by your God given words! How inspiring, uplifting & food for my spirit! I didn’t realize that the enemy uses my inner voice to “Bully” me. I figured I was my own worst enemy. This blog was so helpful to aide my journey of learning who I am in Christ & learning to love myself! I praise God that he sent me to you & your encouraging words. May God shower you with endless blessing. Thank you for enriching & touching my life!

    In Christ infinate love,


    1. Thank you so much for visiting and for your kind encouragement, Anastasia. (What a beautiful name.) And thank you for joining me on the journey of living with God’s truth over us not the discouraging lies the enemy wants us to believe. God bless you!

  10. Very useful post! We all need a reminder of these. I’m already in the process of eliminating the negative voices in my he’d and this post helps. Thank u! X

    1. Thank you, Lauren! Yay for wanting to replace those negative voices with God’s truth! It’s a journey and a process but it’s one I want to take. Thanks for joining me. God bless you!

  11. I am constantly praying for the Lord to help me with unbelief. This is a wonderful word and I so want to believe it. How can I get this deep into my heart and spirit?

    1. Hi, Val. Thank you much for visiting. God loves your prayer. I love the way Jesus responded to the father who said, “Lord, I believe. Help me overcome my unbelief.” Jesus just went ahead and blessed him and healed his son. I believe your prayer is one we will answer as well. Just keep seeking Him and turning to His Word and prayer. God be with you and bless you!