The Best Secrets and Advice that Will Help Your Marriage Last

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A cute older couple who took some advice to help your marriage last. #BlessingBloggers #CountingMyBlessings #Marriage

And they lived happily ever after.

You read the stories as a little girl. The ones that ended with the beautiful wedding and those six words that stuck in our hearts and filled our dreams.

Walk down the aisle and your good to go.


Maybe. Maybe not. Marriage is full of blessings but it also takes lots of work and wisdom.

I’m thankful for the wisdom we received from friends with more experience who mentored our marriage and ministry.

And guess what?

Rev and I celebrated our 46th Anniversary yesterday!

Seriously?! How did that happen?

How did 46 years go by so fast?!

Just for fun, I thought I’d share some of my favorite tips from friends and a few quotes I found out there to help encourage you whether you’ve been married for 5 minutes or 50+ years.

So, I started with the question…

What is the best marriage advice you’ve ever given or received?

And here are their answers.

The Best Secrets and Advice that Will Help Your Marriage Last

What is the best marriage advice you've ever given or received? How to help your marriage last!

I received a wise word on my wedding day from my best friend’s mom. She told me, “Always remember that love is a choice.” Feelings come and go but when I make the choice to love in word or deed (regardless of how I feel), God has always honored it. We reap what we sow, so sow love. – Arabah Joy

“Real love isn’t just a euphoric, spontaneous feeling—it’s a deliberate choice—a plan to love each other for better and worse, for richer and poorer, in sickness and in health.” ~ Seth Adam Smith

 My favorite marriage advice that I ever received was to speak highly of my husband in front of others. We’re a team and I think this is a great way to show that we’re united. Plus, I know it feels good when he speaks highly of me in front of others, so I try to do the same for him. – Dawn Klinge @ Above the Waves

“Let the wife make the husband glad to come home and let him make her sorry to see him leave.” ~ Martin Luther

When I am feeling frustrated or upset with my husband my best practice is to go to prayer and ask God what’s going on inside of ME! The majority of the time it isn’t really about him at all. – Patti Krank @ Old Things New 

“God doesn’t want me to be a ‘fix him’ wife, God wants me to be a ‘love him’ wife.”– Lysa TerKeurst

Don’t be lazy in your relationship.  Remember all those things you used to do when you first met him?  Keep doing them! (Proverbs 20:4)

Do go on dates with him – Dates don’t have to cost anything!  A walk and a picnic is a perfect time to reconnect.  Or, serving dinner in front of the fireplace or adding a few candles turns boring into romantic. (Song of Songs 1:2) – Joan Davis @ The Beauty in His Grip

Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. 1 Peter 4:8

1- Talk to each other about your problems instead of everyone else. (My mom turned me away as a young newlywed who wanted to complain about my husband. As a mom now I can imagine how difficult that was.) 2-Never stop laughing with each other. In fact, I tell my girls to keep an eye out for the one who makes them laugh (among other things, of course.) – Christi Gee at The Cheerio Trail

“Great marriages don’t happen by luck or by accident. They are the result of a consistent investment of time, thoughtfulness, forgiveness, affection, prayer, mutual respect, and a rock-solid commitment between a husband and a wife.” ~ Dave Willis

Vulnerability invites vulnerability. Be humble, forgive freely, serve deeply, and laugh together often. – Jennifer Schackelford at Chaos 2 Peace

“A good marriage isn’t something you find; it’s something you make and you have to keep on making it.” ~ Gary Thomas

One of the best things we can do for our marriages is to let go of the small stuff: all those little quirks and things about our husbands that drive us crazy. When we focus instead on our husbands’ positive qualities and express appreciation, it creates a more positive atmosphere for our marriages. – Betsy DeCruz at Faith Spilling Over

Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Ephesians 4:2

Give loads and loads of grace. And, when you think you have given enough, give more! (Brush things off. Don’t take offense. Don’t be so sensitive. Assume the best with your spouse – always.) – Melanie Redd

“A Christian marriage is [not] one with no problems or even a marriage with fewer problems. (It may well mean more problems.) But it does mean a life in which two people are able to accept each other and love each other in the midst of problems and fears. It means a marriage in which selfish people can accept selfish people without constantly trying to change them—and even accept themselves, because they realize personally that they have been accepted by Christ.” ~ Keith Miller, Taste of New Wine

Put God first in your marriage, always. Seek wisdom and counsel from the Bible first, older, wiser couples (or a Pastor) second. When you feel like casting blame, ask the Lord to show you how your own sin is contributing to the situation and focus on that. Let the Lord work on the other party involved, just keep praying. God is so good to us when we come to Him and ask Him to be part of our marriage. – Nicki Schroeder @ Showered in Grace

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. 1 Corinthians 13:4–7

My best advice is simple “never let go.”Shannon Geurin at Fiercely His

“It’s not the love that sustains the promise, it’s the promise that sustains the love.” – Jefferson Bethke

The best marriage advice we received was the reminder that as husband and wife we are on the same team. That stayed with me so much that now we pass on that advice to our children. Because at the end of the day, as family our team’s goal is to know God and make Him known to others. I’m just happy I get to partner with my husband and children in doing so. I shared 5 tips on making my husband feel significant here: – Marva Smith at Sun Sparkle Shine

The Best Secrets and Advice that Will Help Your Marriage Last by Deb Wolf @ Counting My Blessings

You may be wondering about my favorite “help your marriage last” advice…

It’s simple – never stop flirting! No, not with other people. Only with each other. Remember all those playful little things you said and did while you were dating to get each other’s attention and keep things fun. Don’t stop! Flirting says, “You’re still the one for me!”

But the very best advice that will help your marriage last…

Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12

Trust the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths smooth. Proverbs 3:5–6

There are countless examples that the 15 to 50-foot walk down the aisle and promised “I dos” are not guarantees of the happily or the ever after. Our marriages need God’s help and direction!

Flirting may be my favorite advice but I believe the true secret that will help your marriage last is . . . stay close to God. We need God’s help to remind us when we forget – how to listen, how to serve, how to work together, how to be patient and kind, how to forgive, how to keep a promise . . . how to love.

A huge thank you to my friends for sharing their best advice.

Now it’s your turn. What’s your favorite “help your marriage last” advice?

Leave your prayer requests…

and pray for others who have left requests.

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  1. Such wonderful advice offered here, Deb. Yes, I think we absolutely have to put God first in our marriage in order for the relationship to flourish. Making special “just the two of us” time has been crucial for Danny and me, too, to keep the spark between us. It doesn’t hurt, either, that he is my best friend.

    1. Thank you, Martha! I am so blessed by my wise friends! I agree! Taking time to be a couple is so important. We love just hanging out together too. We just have fun together. What an amazing awesome blessing! <3

  2. This post is delightful and fun. Congratulations on your anniversary, Deb! My personal goal is 50 years of marriage, to reverse generational cycles of divorce on both sides of our family. Thank you for inspiring me to keep doing the hard work of cultivating our relationship.

    1. Thanks so much, Sarah! 50 years is starting to appear on the horizon here. 🙂 I am so thankful! Especially because we consider the last ten years all bonus days. God’s blessings, my friend!

  3. Anna Rodriguez says:

    awesome advice encourages me to let go of small stuff i always complain to my wonderful partner about thank u jesus for answering my prayers and wow congratulations on ur 46 years together GOD IS GOOD!

    1. Thank you, Anna! I feel so blessed. There really is no one else with whom I’d rather spend my time. He’s been making me laugh since our first date. And when life is hard, he faithfully prays with me and for me. God is good!

  4. Great advice! Always remember that love is a choice, and never stop forgiving would be my top two picks for best advice. Congratulations on a milestone anniversary!

  5. many thanks for this post.

  6. Deb, thanks for this awesome post! I love the advice of “never stop flirting!”

    I think so many couples think the courtship of their spouse “ends” on their wedding day. In reality, couples must continue to date and flirt with each for the marriage and relationship to continue to flourish.