10 Ways to Have True Patience & Show Compassion Even When It’s Hard
True patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, difficulty, or annoyance without getting angry or upset. True patience treats yourself and others with kindness and compassion.
Would you say you have true patience? What would your friends say?
It’s easy for me to be patient when nothing is annoying me but harder when someone is stomping on my agitated last nerve.
I wonder if you can relate.
Lately, it feels like more and more people are walking around on edge. It seems they will bristle and bark at the slightest provocation.
This wisdom from C. S. Lewis speaks volumes…
“Everyone feels benevolent [patient] if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment.”
But God’s Word tells us we are to be patient . . . to have true patience like Jesus:
Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.
Ephesians 4:2
A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.
2 Timothy 2:24
I needed help, so here are…
10 Ways to be Patient
- Remember, you can’t control someone else’s behavior. You are only responsible for your own.
- Don’t take another person’s impatience personally.
- Practice sentence prayers and invite the Spirit to help you control your emotional responses.
- Don’t try to “fix” an impatient person or control the situation, focus on your own attitude and reaction.
- Be understanding. An impatient person may be going through a personal crisis.
- Before you react, take several slow deep calming breaths.
- Anticipate the outcome you hope for before you say or do anything.
- God is patient with you and me and we all have times when we need people to be patient with us.
- Patience takes intentional practice with determination.
- True patience waits on God’s timing and loves like Jesus.
Solomon wrote…
A hot-tempered person stirs up conflict, but the one who is patient calms a quarrel.
Proverbs 15:28
Some individuals believe that patience is just sitting back and taking whatever is thrown at us.
But true patience is not passive it is proactive.
Dr. Judith Orloff wrote – “Patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation, but power. It’s an emotionally freeing practice of waiting, watching, and knowing when to act.”
True patience is having the power to control our own actions and reactions.
Consistent patience feels impossible, especially when there is so much impatience around us. But we don’t have to do it alone. We have the Holy Spirit to help us.
But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.
Galatians 5:22–23
And with His help, we can.
Practice these words of Paul…
May the patience and encouragement that come from God allow you to live in harmony with each other the way Christ Jesus wants.
Romans 15:5
A Prayer for True Patience
& the Ability to Live with Compassion
Father, You are wonderfully kind, tolerant, and patient. (Romans 2:4) I thank and praise You. Because You love us, You cover us with undeserved kindness and compassion. Day after day, Jesus demonstrated Your perfect unfailing love. He patiently dealt with difficult needy people. You patiently listen and respond to my prayers. And You tell me to love as I have been loved by You.
Please forgive me. I’m quick to lose patience with people and circumstances. I fail to love the way You desire. I’m so very sorry.
Father, I want people to see You in me. I want to represent Your true patience to the people around me. I want to love like Jesus. Please help me! Fill me with Your Spirit. Give me the strength I need to wait when necessary and to respond with patient kindness and compassion even when people give me reasons to respond with anger and frustration.
I believe Your grace is sufficient for my needs. I believe Your Spirit is able to give me the peace and patience I need. I surrender myself to You. I want to live with true patience that my words and actions might glorify You. Amen.
So, let’s go back to our original questions…
Would you say you have true patience? What would your friends say?
If you’re like me, your answer might sound something like this…
I’m not as patient as I want to be. I know I’m not as consistently patient as the Lord wants me to be. Things like unkind snarky comments in person or online, technology glitches, and phone trees come to mind quickly. My friends and family may have their own list of examples to add.
So, I’m praying and asking God to help me remember that although I can’t control what others do . . . with His help, I can control what I say and do. And I can look at everyone with a heart of kindness and compassion recognizing that we all need extra grace from time to time.
What are your tips for living with true patience?
May God be with you and bless you with kindness, compassion, and patience.
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Thank you so much for this timely message, Deb. It came just at the right moment to help me stop feeling impatience and annoyance. It reminded me afresh of the Lord’s great mercy and grace.
I’m so glad it encouraged you, Melanie. Thanks for letting me know! God bless you!
Oh Deb, the furious pace that life seems go these days, so few have any patience at all! And my hubby when driving! Every traffic light, road construction, or any other driver on the road, his patience flys out the window! But i always remind him…”if Jesus comes back right now to get us, would you want Him to see you in such a fit of impatience!” I sometimes get an eye roll, but it does calm him! God has helped me and blessed me and some lessons of patience, I learned the hard way! But one of the things I give God total praise for, is His patience with me! Therefore, I do so try to be patient with others! Far from being perfect, but with God’s grace, I am learning! Persevere with patience! May God help us all with patience!
I think driving triggers a lot of impatience. I’m more easily frustrated when technology doesn’t work. We are all in need of the Lord’s grace, mercy, and the gift of patience. Blessings, my friend!
Hello Deb,
I hope you and your loved ones are doing well. I’ve been Blessed with patience… I stay calm in the face of frustration or adversity.
I get this patience from my beautiful mom.
I remember as a child I would calm crying babies and toddlers tantrums.
I’m a mom to three amazing children and I am an early childhood educator and music teacher. I’m so glad for the gift of patience.
Blessings,
Raquel
That’s awesome, Raquel. It sounds like you have been blessed with the gift of patience. And I’m sure you’re a blessing to so many who benefit from your patience. God bless you!
I would love to tell you that I am very patient person, but, that would be stretching the truth a bit!! Or may say, more that a bit!! Patience is something I have to work on daily. I love the 10 things you listed. And, you are right. Someone may be having a bad day or going through something that is testing them. Keeping in mind that I can control myself and not others is excellent advice. I am so glad that you wrote about this. Reminders are what I know I need! Just being reminded that God is so patient with me makes me know I need to follow that example. Becoming more Christ like is what it is all about.
Thank you Deb!!
I’m patient to a point but there are some things that can set me off way too easily. I need God’s grace and I especially need His help daily. Thanks much for adding to the conversation and for letting me know that I’m not alone. God bless you!