Why It’s Important To Think Before You Express Criticism

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Are you an encourager or someone quick to express criticism?

Rev was one of the best encouragers I’ve ever known. He loved to build people up with verbal pats on the back, always generous with words of appreciation and praise.

I recently shared Rev’s message about the mentor who had a profound impact on his life and mine, along with some timely words of encouragement.

Rev continued that lesson, talking about the opposite impact we can have when we express criticism:

Solomon wrote in Proverbs 12:18:

Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing.

Can you imagine what would have happened if Pastor Weisheit had taken me aside and blasted me—I already felt horrible. Or, not even blasted me, but simply sharing a list of things I needed to change “if I ever expected to be an effective Bible study teacher.” Believe me, I needed help. I still do! But he knew that what I needed most in that moment was someone who believed in me.

Is criticism ever needed? Yes. Sometimes it’s our calling. Parenting. Being a boss in the workplace. Or correcting a misbehaving student.

But, picture this. A teeter-totter. If encouragement were a 100-pound mouse on one side of the teeter-totter … what could you drop on the other side to send the mouse flying up into the air? Maybe a 1000-pound opponent!

Well, for some reason, we can see our encouragement as the mouse. Big. If asked, “are you an encourager?” People would say, “Oh yeah, big time.”

But what would the people under your roof say? The people who go to school with you. The people with whom you work.

We might view our criticism as a feather dropping onto the end opposite the mouse. That our encouragement is so great the feather of our criticism is not going to be noticed on the other end.

But what would those in our lives say about our criticism? Might they not feel like you dropped a weighted opponent or multiple opponents on them?

What’s the point?

Never use criticism when encouragement might accomplish the same thing or even better.

Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works.

Hebrews 10:24

Encouragement is more powerful than we realize.

Yes, if a child runs into the road, we should correct and protect them. But it might be even more powerful to pile on the praise when they’re staying close and safe.

That one may feel obvious…

But it’s not so obvious when it’s a peer, coworker, or family member.

So, let’s go to the Lord and ask for His help to pause and think before we express criticism. Let’s ask Him to fill us with all we need to be encouragers…

A Prayer to Think Before You Express Criticism
& for God’s Help to Build Up and Encourage

Father God, we are so quick to express criticism as we analyze and judge the behavior of people in the news, online, at church, in our neighborhood, and under our own roofs. Jesus told us to look at ourselves and take care of the log in our eyes before we try to remove the speck in our neighbors’.

Please forgive us. Forgive me. I don’t want to be quick to see the faults in others. Psychologists would say we tear others down to build ourselves up because we are insecure and we’re trying to feel better about ourselves.

I am so very sorry. I want to see myself and everyone else through Your eyes. I want to love people and encourage them to be the individuals You want them to be. I don’t want to speak weighty words that destroy strength and hope … words that lead to discouragement and defeat.

I want to build up hearts and minds with Your love. I want to add peace, strength, and hope. I want to love like Jesus.

If I find myself in a situation where I must speak the truth from Your Word, please help me remember the following words of Paul…

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer is overcome by some sin, you who are godly should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:1–2)

I am a sinner in need of Your mercy and grace, just like everyone else. You encourage me in countless ways. May I share Your love by being a person who motivates people to want to trust and obey You with my words and my actions.

I thank and praise You, Lord. Please help me think before I express criticism and love as You desire. Amen.

It’s important to remember that we don’t know everything the people around us are going through. The grace we need because of our past and present circumstances is the same grace we should give to others.

God knows and loves. And promises to give us everything we need.

So, let’s take the following words to heart and remember to love and encourage like Jesus…

Paul wrote…

 So encourage each other and build each other up, just as you are already doing.

1 Thessalonians 5:111:

And Jesus’ half-brother, Jude wrote…

Dear friends, must build each other up in your most holy faith, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit, and await the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ, who will bring you eternal life. 

Jude 1:20-21

May God be with you and help you pause to think before you express criticism, and may He surround you with people who will bless you with encouragement and love.

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