5 Truths that will Help You Heal After You Forgive the Impossible
When someone’s choices, actions, or behaviors cause circumstances that painfully change your life . . . it can seem like you’ll never feel okay again.
I get it. I’ve been there . . . curled up on the bed for days wondering how I’d ever be able to breathe again. At that moment, the idea of forgiving seems impossible.
Last time, we talked about 5 Reasons to Forgive When It Feels Impossible. And here’s encouragement to help us actually do it . . . 5 Powerful Truths to Help When You Need to Forgive.
But the truth is, you and I can know the reasons we should forgive and make the decision to forgive but the question then becomes . . . how do we heal after we forgive?
Today, I’d like to share with you some truths from God’s Word that have helped me.
5 Truths that will Help You Heal After You Forgive
1. Thank God in Advance for Setting You Free
Aphiémi is a Greek word for forgiving that means to “set free or lay aside.” Aphiémi means choosing to release the offender from making amends.
With the Spirit’s help, aphiémi means you and I can be set free from anger, bitterness, and resentment. Glory!
“To forgive is to set the prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.” ~Louis B. Smedes
2. Give Yourself Permission to Let Go of What Was Lost . . . Love, Trust, Reputation, Hopes, and Dreams.
An essential part of healing after forgiving is realizing that you can’t undo the past. Maybe, like me, you struggle with “if only and what if” thoughts . . . healing means letting them go. It’s remembering, that we can’t change what has happened but we can change how we allow it to affect the future.
We have God’s promise…
We know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose for them.Romans 8:28
3. Choose to Stop Retelling and Reliving the Pain.
It’s hard to stop dwelling on a pain-filled experience, but healing is almost impossible when you and I continue to replay it in our heads and to our friends.
It can be tempting to want sympathy from friends and family, but once we’ve shared the details of our stories with others, we have no control over where they go or how they grow.
“Do not seek revenge or bear a grudge against a fellow Israelite, but love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.”Leviticus 19:18
4. Trust God with Every Part of the Future.
God is love. He cares. He is present. And He is able to give us strength and hope, and everything else we need to heal.
For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.Philippians 4:13
5. Pray and Ask God to Help You Live with Joy
You and I may feel like living with joy both denies and excuses what happened. It doesn’t.
Yes, we need to take the time needed to grieve what was lost, but then it’s important that we give ourselves permission to do things we enjoy . . . to heal. So let yourself laugh. Have some fun. It will be good for you.
During my season of healing, I learned to set grief appointments. I’d set aside 30 minutes to cry and cry out. But for the rest of the day, I’d focus on “counting my blessings” and reminding myself that I could wait to deal with the hurt later at my grief appointment.
There is a time to cry and a time to laugh. There is a time to be sad and a time to dance with joy.Ecclesiastes 3:4
A Prayer for Healing After Forgiving the Impossible
Father, sometimes it feels like my heart will never heal. The loss overwhelms me and the pain is so intense. I’ve said the words and forgiven the offender but how do I heal. I do I feel fully alive again.
I’m running to you today pausing to remember my own faults and flaws. I’m reminded of all the times You have forgiven me for the pain I’ve caused myself and others . . . the times I’ve hurt Your heart through my pride and selfishness.
Please help me extend the grace and mercy I have received. Please give me the strength I need to lay aside my hurt and anger. Help me forgive the impossible any time bitterness rises up in me. Please give me Your perfect peace and joy. And by the power of your Spirit, help me love like Jesus. In whose name I pray. Amen.
Friends, I can tell you from personal experience . . . healing is possible.
It’s a process that won’t happen overnight, but I promise that God will heal a heart that is surrendered to Him.
So repeat steps #1–5 often.
God is with you. He will not leave to heal alone. SEEK Him. He will give you everything you need.
Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and He will give you everything you need.Luke 12:31
I love this word of encouragement…
“ Christ is the Good Physician. There is no disease He cannot heal; no sin He cannot remove; no trouble He cannot help. He is the Balm of Gilead, the Great Physician who has never yet failed to heal all the spiritual maladies of every soul that has come unto Him in faith and prayer.” ~ James H. Aughey
May God bless you as you run to Him for healing. May He give You His peace and fill you with joy.
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Really needed this today!!
I’m so glad it encouraged you, Bonnie! Blessings!
Thank You Deb I needed to read this 😊 God ❤️ Bless 😊 .
I’m so glad it blessed and encouraged you, Robert. Thank you for letting me know. God bless you!
Such sound and sensible advice, Deb. God will help us to heal once we forgive someone just as He has forgiven our many transgressions. Blessings!
Healing rests in His loving presence. I’m so thankful for His forgiveness and love! Blessings!
Thank you so much for providing this information! I am a daughter of The Most High and sometimes we forget what God has promised us in our grief ,lack of understanding,our pain and troubles! We forget He is there to heal to protect and to love us even at our darkest hour! All things are possible through our unmoved level God! His words never change and His promises stand true! This article was very good and helped me to remember that Gid is present and wants to help and all I have to do is seek first His kingdom and acknowledge His way and He will provide all that I need! Father God please bless the teachers and preachers of you word and your faithfulness ! Please continue to put your people in my path that will encourage me and guide me to your truth your presence, your undieng love! Thank you again for this article, it couldn’t have came at a better time! There are demons all around me day and night and they don’t seem to go anywhere no matter how much I pray or rebuke them, they just laugh and watch me ! But I know God know what I need and I guess in his timing he will take them away!
I’m lifting you up in prayer, Sherry, and asking God to encourage you, bless you, and place a hedge of protection around you.