My Broken Heart and How I Learned to Trust Again

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No one can break your heart like those closest to you . . . children, spouses, parents, siblings, best friends, etc.

Without sharing details, I will tell you that what we experienced left me curled up in a ball. Devastated. Heartbroken.

Healing My Heart

The healing was process was long and difficult, but it happened. Yesterday I wrote – How to Heal a Broken Heart. The six steps listed are ones I implemented. They’re important. They work.

Step 6 – Accept Stutter Step Progress is important to remember. Often I’d believe the healing process was complete – when an anniversary, a comment, or a memory would spark feelings of grief and loss once again.

A couple of things the Lord revealed to me helped so much:

1. Although it was terribly painful, God may have spared us from something much worse.
2. Sometimes we have to let go of a dream to have the blessings God wants to give us.

Solomon said, “Enjoy what you have rather than desiring what you don’t have. Just dreaming about nice things (or what if’s) is meaningless—like chasing the wind.” Ecclesiastes 6:9 (parentheses mine)

How to Learn to Trust Again

1. Trust God – God will never lie, cheat, reject, betray, or leave you. He is completely trustworthy. He always wants what is best for you, even when, on the surface, it doesn’t seem that way. His promises will never fail.

For the word of the Lord holds true, and we can trust everything He does. He loves whatever is just and good; the unfailing love of the Lord fills the earth. Psalm 33:4-5

2. Trust Yourself – Self-doubt is normal after someone breaks your heart. Trust the power of the Holy Spirit within you to help you make wise relationship choices.

I pray that God, the source of hope, will fill you completely with joy and peace because you trust in Him. Then you will overflow with confident hope through the power of the Holy Spirit. Romans 15:13

3. Trust Others – You will trust again. Maybe not as naively as before, but wisely understanding that sometimes people will let you down. You can’t control them. You can only control yourself – your thoughts, emotions, and reactions.

Let the peace that comes from Christ rule in your hearts. Colossians 3:15a

4. Love – You don’t have to trust someone to love them. Once trust is lost rebuilding it takes time. But don’t stop loving. Jesus told us to “love your enemies, do good to those who hate you.” (Luke 6)

It’s hard, but it’s possible.

Love is something we choose. It’s not only that warm fuzzy feeling we get when the chemistry is right. Love wants what is best. Love is caring and compassionate. Love shows kindness and respect. “Love never fails.”

And sometimes, not always, but sometimes . . . trust grows and relationships are stronger.

I’m less naive than I used to be, but by God’s grace my heart is healed and I am able to trust again.

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4 Comments

  1. So sorry to hear about your hurt Deb. I think even the fact that you are blogging about it will help the healing process. It is a long road but it is also a road on which we learn to better understand God’s grace and love for us!

    1. Thank you Caleb. I have been using my blogging to help me heal and focus on my blessings since the beginning. God has blessed me in more ways than I could ever have imagined. I would never have chosen this path, but God has used it to draw me closer to Himself. That alone is a wonderful blessing.

      I know He is at work in all things. The best blessing is that through this He has removed my fear.

  2. Thank you for sharing on how you focus on love, trust and gratitude (counting blessings) to heal your broken heart. You are an inspiration to others that are feeling heartbroken

    1. Thank you, Yudith! I look forward to coming over and reading your post. It looks like it’s on the same subject! God’s blessings!