Peacekeeper or Peacemaker – Helpful Differences You Need to Know
Are you a peacekeeper or a peacemaker?
I’m not talking about military or law enforcement peacekeepers. I’m talking about our personal relationships.
I’m asking as someone who hates conflict, so for much of my life, I was a peacekeeper. I did whatever I could to avoid controversy and contention.
Although it took longer than it should have, I eventually learned that…
Peacekeepers often operate out of fear.
And trying to maintain healthy relationships while fearing conflict that might upset someone is a miserable way to live.
So, here are…
5 Things to Know About Fearful Peacekeepers.
- Peacekeepers are typically anxious people-pleasers.
- Peacekeepers walk on eggshells to keep from upsetting others.
- Peacekeepers often hide their true feelings to prevent arguments.
- Peacekeepers prepare in advance to avoid and prevent conflict.
- Peacekeepers are vulnerable to bullying and abuse.
But then I noticed an important truth…
Jesus did not tell His followers to be peacekeepers.
He told them to be peacemakers.
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.
Matthew 5:9 (NIV)
Peacemakers are people who pursue peace through reconciliation.
Do you see the difference?
Peacekeepers keep peace out of fear through avoidance.
Peacemakers pursue peace through strength that leads to reconciliation and healthy relationships.
So, if fear is keeping you in the peacekeeper category. Here are some things I’ve learned to help you go from being a fearful peacekeeper to becoming the peacemaker Jesus wants.
Helpful Truth to Know About Being a Peacemaker
Peacemakers are filled with God’s peace.
People who have God’s peace within them want the people around them to experience his peace as well.
Paul closed his second letter to the church in Corinth with these words…
Be joyful. Grow to maturity. Encourage each other. Live in harmony and peace. Then the God of love and peace will be with you.
2 Corinthians 13:11
Peacemakers love God and the people around them.
They make love their goal, encouraging and building each other up; that way, when conflict and confrontation ensue, their relationships are built on a strong, healthy foundation.
But we don’t need to write to you about the importance of loving each other, for God Himself has taught you to love one another.
1 Thessalonians 4:9
Peacemakers pray and ask for God’s help.
They ask God for wisdom, direction, and peace. They ask Him to help them listen with compassion and give them the words that will help, not hurt.
Show me the right path, O Lord; point out the road for me to follow.
Psalm 25:4–5
Lead me by Your truth and teach me, for You are the God who saves me.
All day long I put my hope in You.
Peacemakers build trust in every relationship.
They are also truthful and trustworthy. Reconciliation and peace are more likely where truth prevails. When we believe a person cares about and wants what is best… we are more likely to work together toward peace.
We will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of His body, the church.
Ephesians 4:15
Peacemakers identify and address situations honestly and respectfully.
Know when it’s important to confront and when it’s better to keep silent. That’s not easy. Here are a couple of questions to ask yourself:
1. Does this behavior or situation honor or dishonor God?
2. Is my intent to be helpful or hurtful?
Peacemakers strive for resolutions.
Do what you can. Do your best. Then trust God with the outcome. Never stop praying. And keep an open heart and mind.
He makes the whole body fit together perfectly. As each part does its own special work, it helps the other parts grow, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
Ephesians 4:16
Peacemakers trust God to give them the courage and strength they need to obey Him by speaking His truth with gentleness and respect.
Let’s pray…
A Prayer for God’s Help to Be a Peacemaker
Father God, You want Your children to live peacefully with one another. Paul wrote…
“Always be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love. Make every effort to keep yourselves united in the Spirit, binding yourselves together with peace.” (Ephesians 4:2–3)
Some of us have believed that means being passive, people-pleasers. But as we read and study all of Your Word, we learn it means speaking Your truth humbly and gently, with patience. It means loving people too much to excuse and affirm things You have called sin.
May I be a peacemaker who lovingly speaks the truth about Your will and Your grace, mercy, and love. I want everyone to KNOW how much You want to forgive repentant hearts and transform lives, giving peace, hope, and strength.
I thank and praise You. Please give me the courage I need to be a peacemaker who shares Your TRUTH with love. All in the name of my Lord and Savior, Jesus. Amen.
It’s not easy to be a Peacemaker!
Especially in our current culture. We still see many who believe it’s easier to be peacekeepers than it is to trust and obey God’s will. But we are not called to peacekeeping; we’re called to peacemaking.
And I believe by God’s grace and with His help… it’s possible, or He would not have told us about the blessing of peacemaking.
And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.
James 3:18
May the Lord be with us and bless us, and may He give you and me the humility, gentleness, and strength we need to be the peacemakers He wants us to be.
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Thanks so much, Deb, for defining the difference between peacekeepers and peacemakers. I spent much of my life being a people-pleaser, too, and it took me a long time to realize that living that way wasn’t what God wanted from me. Have a blessed day!
Thank you, Martha! I’m with you! It took me way too long to realize that God’s way of peacemaking is better and more loving. His way is truth!! Blessings to you, dear friend!
Deb
Peacemaker and Peacekeeper is a great topic. This topic was part of a woman’s Bible study I participated in several years ago. It is still a concept I have frequently have to stop and ask God to help me with.
I can attest my life has been much fuller since actively committing to being a Peacemaker.
God’s blessings to you always!
It’s wonderful to hear from you, Laurie! I need His help, too. It is wonderful to live with less fear as a peacemaker, though, isn’t it? Thanks for visiting and joining the conversation. Blessings and hugs to you!
Deb,
This is one I do really need to keep and reread. I too, have tried to be a people pleaser all of my life. It just hasn’t seemed to work out that well either. I am thankful for the two definitions and explanations, especially the Scripture verses you have shown on this matter. I know I am old, but never too old to learn. Thank you so much for this and letting me know how God feels about it and His desire for me.
I pray that you have a wonderful and safe week. God bless you always!!
Hey Sue, I think peacekeeping feels right to those of us who fear conflict. I’m learning, and it’s taken way too long, that a kindly expressed truth is more caring and loving than doing whatever it takes to avoid a disagreement. I try to remember the Lord’s words, “Do not be afraid,” and His promise to be with us. Blessings and HUGS, dear friend!