9 Things You Need to Know and Remember About Patience
This has been a hard month.
I knew it would be.
Humility was hard. But for me, patience has been harder.
It seems like I’ve been challenged and come up short again and again. So, if you’re struggling with where you fall on the patience scale, you are not alone!
Here’s a quick recap of the month. An all in one place reminder of things I need to remember when I’m short on the patience I need and that the people around me want.
9 Things to Remember about Patience
1. Patience is proactive – When I’m frustrated with myself or someone else my typical reaction is fight or flight. Anger or quiet passivity. Sounds passive/aggressive doesn’t it?
That’s why godly patience is proactive.
Dr. Judith Orloff wrote – “Patience doesn’t mean passivity or resignation, but power. It’s an emotionally freeing practice of waiting, watching, and knowing when to act.”
Rather than fight or flight – true patience waits on God’s timing, watches what God is doing, and knows when to act.
And that takes staying close to Him through time spent in prayer and in the Word.
2. Patience starts with remembering how patient God is with me – Like every other character of faith, patience begins with a vertical relationship to God. His patience in and through me makes me want to be more patient with others.
And why is God patient?
Because it’s His character. He simply is . . . loving and patient.
Like the father in the parable of the Prodigal Son, God is watching and waiting with love and patience for His children to come home.
3. Patience is hard when my problems are big but it is possible – If you live long enough, you will face big problems in a relationship, with your health, your job, or your finances.
Jesus said, “In this world you will have trouble.” John 16:33
I am always humbled by Paul’s list of troubles in 2 Corinthians 11 only to read a few chapters later:
Don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:18
God’s faithfulness through past problems gives me courage when life is hard and my problems are big.
4. Patience through small daily annoyances challenges me – Every spouse, parent, coworker, commuter . . . okay anyone who interacts with someone regularly knows that’s when patience gets tough. And it’s not just people, things like the internet going down, an appliance breaking, or an unexpected mess . . . those are the things that really try my patience.
Patience in the dailies takes practice with determination.
So give yourself grace, celebrate every success, and do better tomorrow.
Decide that with God’s help you will be patient today, and if this day doesn’t go well—you will try again tomorrow, the next day, and the day after that.
5. Patience with impatient people. Ugh! – This is where I need the most work. As a firm believer that “nice matters” when someone is impatient with me I bristle.
“Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment.” ~C. S. Lewis
I need to keep that post close and reread it often. Whew! Some things are just easier to write about than to live.
6. Patience can be hardest at home where you need it most – No one can try your patience like the people with whom you live.
I’m the least patient with my family when I’m tired or I don’t feel well. I’ve learned it’s important to get enough rest, eat a healthy diet, and stay active to think less about myself and more about my loves.
I want to keep their buckets full through positive interaction. The 5 to 1 ratio of positive to negative is a minimal goal for us to have a patient happy family.
7. Patience is impossible unless I change the way I think – I know it’s true about happiness, peace, satisfaction, contentment . . . AND patience. Self-focus will defeat me.
It’s hard to love God and others well when I’m self-absorbed, but that’s where I live . . . in my head. Thinking about me just comes naturally. For you too?
Changing my thoughts so I’m God and others focused is Holy Spirit work. I simply cannot do it on my own. So, I’m praying:
May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, O Lord, my rock and my redeemer. Psalm 19:14
8. Patience seems impossible when I’m angry, but it’s not – It’s normal and often, even accepted to vent when we’re angry. But Jesus said:
“Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you.” Matthew 5:44
I found 7 specific things to do when I’m angry. My goal is to apply them consistently. The best part, it’s easier when I remember to “stop, breathe, and pray.”
9. Patience, when God’s answer to my prayer is “wait,” and I need a plan – Not a plan of how to get my way, but a plan of things to do to keep moving forward in faith.
I want completely to trust God’s goodness. I want what He knows is best for me. This means I need to accept that sometimes God’s best for me means allowing Him to mold me through a season of waiting.
Living outside of God’s will and timing is never a plan for long-term peace and joy.
From your comments this month, we all agree . . . patience is NOT easy nor does it come naturally. In big things and small everyone is challenged by the need for patience.
I am no exception. Wow, I’ve been reminded of that big time this month.
So I will keep moving forward. I will keep praying for God’s help and guidance. I will stay aware of things that trigger impatience and prepare in advance. I will do my best to get enough rest and take care of my health.
I will remember God’s gracious patience with me and do my best to offer that same gift of patience to the people around me and the situations I come up against.
Remember—“Patience is the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, difficulty, or annoyance without getting angry or upset.”
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Deb- I needed to read this today! I am impatient!
I’m going to tuck these points away and remember them when I become impatient.
Thank you for your words!
Julie
Thanks, Julie! For me, it depends on the day. Some days I feel really patient . . . others, not so much! This month has really tested me. I think I’ve had more than the usual number of “not so much” days. I’m daily reminded of my need for God’s grace and mercy. I so appreciate that you stopped by and took the time to say hello!
Patience really is a hard thing, especially when things aren’t going so smoothly (and sometimes even when they are)! Yet, having patience is a real way for me to slow down, appreciate, and find the good – sometimes, I’m not perfect! 🙂
I like that, Kendall. I want to remember to slow down, appreciate, and find the good! Words of wisdom there. Thank you so much!
Oh boy, Deb, how have I missed this series on patience? (Maybe because I’ve been out of the bloggy world for awhile). I’m such an impatient person. I always say that “I don’t wait well.” It’s like saying, “Women don’t sweat, they perspire.” And when I lose my patience, I get so angry at myself because I feel like I “shouldn’t” do that. And I hurt people with my words in the process. Sigh…I’m still learning…great words of wisdom today.
I don’t even say, perspire. My grandmother taught me to say, “I glisten.” But it really doesn’t matter what you call it does it? 🙂 Same with patience. I’m still learning too. As I’ve been challenged this month realizing that I’m not as patient as I thought, I’m even more thankful that my Heavenly Father is always patient with me. Amazing grace! Blessings my friend!
This is such a wonderful post on patience as it encompasses varied points on patience. It is more than just not losing your temper. It is a mindset towards people and circumstances in every aspect of life. Grateful to have stopped here today!
Thank you, Joanne. Our English language is challenging in that there are so many meanings for one word. I’d never stopped to think about the various aspects of patience until this month. I’ve learned tons and I think I’ve been lacking in every one. Whew! Blessings to you!
Thank you for a great month of posts on patience!
So many good words, suggestions, and truths have been packed into this one, Deb.
Love this line today, “I want completely to trust God’s goodness. I want what He knows is best for me. This means I need to accept that sometimes God’s best for me means allowing Him to mold me through a season of waiting.”
Appreciate you~
Now that the month is almost over, I can say I think you were right in telling me I was a little crazy to take on patience right after humility. 🙂 Wow, it’s been a tough one. Thanks for your faithful encouragement and for always cheering me on. I so appreciate you!!
I learned a lot and was really challenged by your words on patience this month, Deb. I’m so glad you chose to focus on this topic.
Thanks, Dawn. You know the old saying, “If you want to really learn something . . . teach it.” That has been true here. I had no idea how much I needed to learn. Now to just continue in my efforts to apply all I’ve learned. Blessings!!
You’ve enlightened and inspired us so much this month, Deb, with this series on patience. Thanks for summing up our journey with this latest post. I, for one, have decided to make a list of the things that make me impatient so I can be prepared to meet those times with grace, and always remember to stop, breathe and pray.
Blessings!
Oh, thank you, Martha! That’s a great idea! When I know the challenge I’m more prepared to tackle it. Listing the things that make you impatient is a great way to prepare yourself. Thanks so much for being one of my faithful encouragers. You bless me! I am so thankful for you!
Patience really is hard! Better yet, impossible!… If it were up to me to produce it. I find the more and more I see the reality that patience is a fruit of the spirit the more I don’t have to try and drum up patience. I simply abide in Him and patience just happens as a spontaneous response of seeing Jesus. 🙂
Great post, Deb! During this morning’s walk I thanked God for being so patient with me, so this post is a natural, godly progression. I nodded my head through much of it, but especially this: “It’s hard to love God and others well when I’m self-absorbed, but that’s where I live . . . in my head. Thinking about me just comes naturally. For you too?” Yes, me too. Thank God for His patience. 😉 Visiting via #testimonyTuesday. I’ll be sharing this on my professional fb page, too.
Wow, so many of these I’d never thought about before! Thank you for such a comprehensive list. I love how you backed up each point with Scripture. I might need to print this out and post it where I can see it often.
Oh yeah, wonderful reminders. God challenged me before in that area of active waiting. The illustration He gave me was that someone waiting on a person to pick him up is looking out the window, perhaps calling to see where they are or any number of things. The person who just moves on to another activity is no longer waiting. That’s stuck with me–not that it’s always easy! Thanks Deb.
Deb, this was beautiful. And this: “Everyone feels benevolent if nothing happens to be annoying him at the moment.” ~C. S. Lewis – I’m sharing with my MTO group, they will LOVE it!
Thanks for reminding me to keep my eyes on things unseen rather than the annoyances right in front of me. I like that 5/1 ratio thing – I need to learn more about that! I’m so much less patient with my people than others! My poor husband some days…:)
Wonderful wisdom here today, Deb! I like your point about getting enough rest and eating well. This helps me so much to be more patient. And for those times when I’m tired or not feeling well, I need more of God’s Holy Spirit.
I used to pray every Thursday for more patience, and those were my hardest days as God sent me experiences so I could grow my patience!!!
Deb,
Patience is important but hard to practice in the heat of the moment. It’s for sure a conscious decision. Patience is also something that is RISKY to pray for; it’s wiser to pray for wisdom. I’m thinking that with wisdom comes patience.
Blessings!
Deb,
This series has been phenomenal. I cannot imagine there is a soul alive who didn’t need at least bits and pieces of these insights! Probably most are like me – needing a whole slew of them!!!! Thank you for blessing me ALWAYS and for sharing hope with me at #MomentsofHope!
Blessings and smiles,
Lori
Such a reflect word .. A gift .. Thanks for sharing
“Patience is proactive.” That’s one I think we often overlook. We tend to think of patience as passive only, but not so! It’s an active watching for God to work. Thanks for this, Deb!
Deb, what an incredibly helpful list! I’ll be pinning this and referring to it again! Have a wonderful 4th!
Hi Deb, I have been struggling with patience all my life. I have fail so many times at times it seems impossible. Thank you for this encouraging about patience.