This is for the One Hurting with Silent Grief
This is for you, the one hurting with silent grief.
The one whose life has been altered by a loss or event that’s left you feeling broken and alone.
You can’t talk about it. There are reasons known only to you.
You see people grieving openly and you envy the love, support, and understanding they receive.
But you grieve behind closed doors. In the dark. Alone.
No one understands why you’re not as social as you once were. They don’t know how much you hate answering simple questions like…
Tell me about your family?
How many children do you have?
What are your kids up to these days?
Do you have any grandchildren?
How’s your spouse?
Or __________?
You’re uncomfortable meeting new people. Every introduction comes with the normal get to know you questions. And every question takes you back to what isn’t. To what you’ve lost.
So you pause over every invitation. Will it be worth the effort? The reminders? The pain?
This is for you because…
No matter how silent grief feels . . . you are not alone!
7 Reasons You Never Grieve Alone
You belong to God – He sees you.
Always under God’s watchful care, He sees you as valued, beautiful, and loved. Your grieving heart matters to Him.
Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?”
Genesis 16:13
You belong to God – He knows everything about you.
God made you. He calls you His child. Nothing in your life shocks or surprises Him. Even that thing you are grieving is known to Him. God cares. His hand of blessing is on you.
O Lord, you have examined my heart
Psalm 139:1–5
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
You belong to God – He collects every tear.
Not one tear falls without God’s care and compassion. He gathers every tear and records every sorrow-filled moment. Each one matters to Him. You matter to Him.
You keep track of all my sorrows.
Psalm 56:8
You have collected all my tears in Your bottle.
You have recorded each one in Your book.
You belong to God – He hears every prayer.
Cry out. You don’t need perfect words or a carefully crafted format. Just pour your heart out to God and He will guide you and comfort you with His perfect peace.
I cry out to the Lord;
Psalm 142:1–3a
I plead for the Lord’s mercy.
I pour out my complaints before him
and tell Him all my troubles.
When I am overwhelmed,
you alone know the way I should turn.
You belong to God – He is with you always.
Always! Forever! God’s Spirit is with you. You are never without His comforting presence. Jesus promised.
“I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:20
You belong to God – He will help you.
Your Father doesn’t just offer you a listening ear, He will help you. His love never fails. When people make you feel judged and uncomfortable . . . turn to God’s love. You can count on His healing love.
God said…
“I will never fail you.
Hebrews 13:5b
I will never abandon you.”
So we can say with confidence…
“The Lord is my helper,
Hebrews 13:6
so I will have no fear.
What can mere people do to me?”
You Belong to God – He will give you peace.
Jesus, the Prince of Peace, wants to give you peace. Nothing you experience is new to Him. He was betrayed, rejected, abused, and denied. He knows and understands your pain and offers to replace it with satisfaction and calm assurance that with Him you will be okay.
“I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid.
John 14:27
So, to you the one with silent grief.
You are not alone.
Your Father sees you, the Holy Spirit is with you, and Jesus offers you His peace.
THERE’S ONE MORE THING I WANT YOU TO KNOW…
I needed this. I wrote it for me. If you’re blessed, I’m thankful.
I wrote it for me because I know what it’s like to live with silent grief. I know what it’s like to feel judged and have people gossip and speculate.
Like you, I need a regular reminder of God’s promises that I am not alone.
I can’t control what other people think. But I can control what I think and when I struggle with silent lonely grief I have to go to God’s truth that gives me peace.
God sees me. He knows me. He gathers my tears and hears every prayer. He is with me. And He will help me and give me peace.
AND GOD DOES THOSE THINGS FOR YOU, TOO.
No matter what you’ve done or what has been done to you . . . my friend, you are not alone. You are loved and precious. More than you will ever know.
For the Lord, your God is living among you.
Zephaniah 3:17
He is a mighty savior.
He will take delight in you with gladness.
With his love, he will calm all your fears.
He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.”
I’m praying for you and asking God to comfort you and give you His peace.
God bless you!
Thank you for coming back to the bedrock truth on each point: I belong to God!
His “ownership” is such a freeing thing, just like his yoke being easy and his burden being light!
Blessings to you!
Were it not for that constant truth, Martha, I think I’d spend my days curled up in a corner somewhere. He is faithful to carry so much of my burden. Blessings to you!
Deb,
This article, is amazing!
I can’t thank you enough for sharing it. In my heart & mind I know all that you have said is true!!! But I fail so many times to remember
God has a plan for me, and
Even though I have enjoyed a full life with a wonderful daughter and son in law. I deeply miss the man I married, he was a great father,my best friend, and now a complete stranger to me. We were married for 30 years, and he changed and the things he was going to do to not meet his obligations to me & our daughter cut me to the core.
While I never lost my faith or blamed God! I still deal with the pain and it’s been
8 years since the divorce.
I constantly ask the Lord to remove him from my mind.
Now at 60 years old, I’m
Excited to maybe have a grandchild or another horse someday. I’m forwarding your article to all that I know.
God Bless You
And the work that you are
Doing for God’s family
I am so very sorry, Gail! What a painful thing to experience and I know the memories are so very hard. I have been struggling with painful memories, too. I am trying to use them as reminders to pray for everyone involved as I continually ask God to give His peace and healing to my heart. I am praying for you, Gail and love that you are looking to the things that give you joy. I try to do that as well. Thanks so much for your kind encouragement. Blessings to you!
Deb- what a helpful post! Aren’t we blessed to never be alone?
God promises to wipe the tears from our eyes and be close to us. What comfort!
Thank you for hosting!
Julie
Amen, Julie! I love to imagine Him as my loving Father, holding me close and gently wiping away my tears. I need Him. Blessings!
Timely post as I grieve the loss of my mother. I find comfort in knowing I am never alone. God is always with me.
I’m so sorry, Yvonne. I’m praying that God will surround you with His loving arms and meet your every need. May He cover you with His blessings.
Deb, this is a great post–as always. At first glance, I thought I might skip over it, since I don’t really “need this” right now. But I decided to read it and realized that there is an area of my life that I grieve–a person very close to me who I grieve over…and because of the close relationship, there is no one I can really tell. So, yes, it hit a nerve and I thank you for the encouraging words and scripture. I know that God knows what both of us are going through And thank you for featuring my post-I’m truly honored.
Mary, I’m sorry you’ve had this grief. I am so glad you were blessed by this post. I needed it myself and I’m always thankful when God uses my journey to bless someone else. Thank you and blessings!
Deb, thank you for such a helpful post. This is a great resource to have to offer to others in need as well. I am so grateful that He never leaves me alone and scoops up my every tear. These are reassuring of how much we each truly are loved by our God. Blessings!
Thank you, Joanne. I’m so glad it blessed you! His presence and love give me strength each day! Hugs to you!
I so understand the hesitation of meeting new people and having to field the questions, “How many children do you have? Do you have any grandchildren?” etc. and not knowing how to answer. To answer honestly just brings more questions or comments such as, “Oh! That must be nice! Where do they live? Will they be coming for Christmas?” Ugh. I have discovered that it is much easier to simply avoid the questions…change the subject…pretend I didn’t hear it. Otherwise, it opens up wounds and can rub them raw. Am I avoiding my pain? Maybe…
Praise God that He is with us, though! He does give peace, doesn’t He? He’s been my Rock and comfort over these past 3 years. He heals and restores…and He brings back joy. And, He brings people into our lives to encourage us…such as you, Deb! Thanks for allowing God to work through you those years ago when I first heard your story…your kind words meant (and still do mean) a lot to me.
Blessings & love, Joan
Oh, Joan, the questions are the hardest. And it’s the part that many people don’t understand. I’m so thankful God put you in my life as someone who gets it! Your encouragement has blessed me so much! Blessings and hugs to you!
Thank you for this post, Deb!
Your words minister to my soul! To know that God knows and sees when it seems no one else does – what a gift!
Amen, Melanie! I’m so glad it blessed you!
Deb, you wrote this for yourself, and I am so sorry you had the experience needed to write it. But of course you know you also wrote it for everyone, because I think we all have silent grief we carry around…a story most other people do not know about. Thank you for these tender, caring words, and for the reminders of the passionate compassion of God.
Thank you, Elizabeth. What kind encouragement. God used you to speak to my heart and bless me! He is so good and gracious . . . everyday!
With Elizabeth, I’m so sorry that you had to write this because of your own silent grief, Deb. But please know what a blessing your words were to my heart and soul today. There is much comfort in His constant presence and peace.
Blessings!
Thank you, Martha! You are also a blessing to me! Sending hugs!!
I know that silent grief, Deb. So blessed by your words and many others will be, as well. Stopping by from #GraceandTruth today.
I’m sorry, Karlene. It’s so hard to carry a burden alone. I’m praying for you . . . asking God to surround you with His presence and peace. Sending you hugs!
Deb what a powerful post! We belong to Him. He loves us. We are never alone. May this bless all the precious lives that read it who are feeling alone today.
Thank you, Debbie. His presence and peace are great sustainers! So very thankful for God’s love!
Beautiful post! So comforting and encouraging…but best of all, filled with the Truth of God’s word. Many blessings to you ❤️
Thank you, Beth! God bless you!
Deb, Thank you for this important post. Silent grief is a lonely place to walk through–yet God is there and understands. Even grief that isn’t silent is a difficult, lonely place to walk.
Blessings!
You’re right, Kim, grief is lonely and hard even when it’s not silent. So thankful for a Heavenly Father who never leaves us alone in our sadness.
Grief naturally feels lonely, but we are limited to the natural order. We embrace the supernatural ways of God. Amazing. Great reminders here, Deb. Thank you.
Amen, Jason! Blessings to you!
Repeating these truths over and over to myself today, dear Deb! (If you read my blog post for today, you’ll see why I needed this so much today!!!) Love you dear friend!
I’m so sorry, Lauren. Hurting with you today and praying God’s sweet presence and peace to surround you. Love you my friend!
Deb, this is a very encouraging post. So many of us have things we grieve that cannot be shared with others, but God is always there. Thank you so much for your encouragement. Blessings!
Thank you, Gayl! I know there are many of us carrying private burdens. Praying for you and sending you hugs!
I still remember the day when I read Psalm 139 and just wept because it sunk in how amazing it was that He loved me so much that He would care that much to stay so close and keep His eyes and ears constantly open to even my every thought.
Oh, Ruth, I agree! God is always with us. Every moment everywhere. There is such sweet assurance in that truth, isn’t there? Blessings to you!
So true! So many people are dealing silently with their chronic illness, grief – pain, suffering etc. Some are at a loss as to why, others are angry, others have withdrawn and others are doing all of these things.
We all need to know we are not alone. thank you for sharing this!
Thank you, Marie, for your kind encouragement. Knowing we are never alone is a strength giver. Praying to maintain a tender heart in His presence.
Your words are so important, Deb. I know of a gal who would benefit greatly from this post, so I’ll be sharing it with her! And I didn’t know you did a linkup, my friend. I’ll be sure to join you. I’m not sure, but am assuming it starts on Fridays? Also, I love Mary and humor so I’m excited to see that you’re highlighting her here today.
Thank you, Beth. I do hope this blesses your friend. I so glad to have you join the link party! Yay! And yes, love Mary and her great sense of humor. Blessings to you!
This post encouraged my heart this week, Deb. It’s been a tough one. Thank you for the encouragement. xo
I’m so glad it blessed you, Lyli! Thanks for stopping to let me know! God bless you!
Gulp … deep breath … and an Amen, Deb. We belong and there is nothing too big, too bad, or too much that will separate that love from us. Thank you for this beautiful encouragement and hope, my friend! This is just the hope I pray for to fill up the page at #MomentsofHope!
Hugs,
Lori
Deb, thank you so much for sharing this with Mommy Moments last week. My heart needed this encouragement, comfort and the deep reminder that we never grieve alone. This was the top viewed link from last week and will be featured in this week’s link up so even more women can be blessed!
I needed this so much more than you could ever know, as i lay here just completely depressed and feel exactly what ypu wrote it just means so much to have seen this because i feel completely all alone and all the things you said. Thank you, please pray for me.
Hi, Ann. I’m so sorry for the pain you’re feeling. I’m so glad this blessed you and I will definitely keep you in my prayers. What a blessing it is to know that God is always with us. No matter how we feel or even if people are there to help, God is faithfully present. When I suffered with silent grief, I turned to His Word and held His promises close. They sustained me through a very difficult time. God bless you!
Hi Deb,
Your article is so on point. There are so many people suffering in silence from a variety of things. I have learned to REALLY look at people and pray for them and not judge them because whatever they are going through is HARD and they CAN’T talk about it and it does affect their behavior and personality. Thank GOD He sees us and has all power to heal us and make things right in our hearts, emotions and lives again. That’s why you have to keep praying and walking with God because you never know when He says “Enough is enough. Now I’m stepping in.” ???????? And nobody gets the Glory but GOD!! ????????
Karen, thank you for stopping by and for taking the time to join the conversation. You’re right! We can be so quick to judge people while having no understanding of what they are going through. That is why we keeping praying and following Him. God bless you!
Hi I’m Julie I needed this prayer so much my heart cries in silent and yes its faith that keeps me going.
God bless you!
I’m praying for you, Julie! God knows your need. He is with you and I’m asking Him to cover you with all that you need. God bless you!
What a beautiful article! You can tell God has used the pain of grief to mend and refine to be able to share with others. Thank you! You are a blessing!
Thanks Deb. God has spoken to me through you. I grieve over my daughter that the father has banished from home because she got pregnant out of wedlock and has derailed in her studies at the university. Please help me pray for..her that her life may regain order. God bless you.
The thoughts of silent grief have been all consuming for over a year. I feel truly hurt but hopeful. Thank you for this article as it has brought comfort.
I’m so sorry, Deborah! We have been there. It’s a lonely and painful place. But I know God is with you. I’m asking Him to hold you close and assure you of His loving presence as you walk through this time in your life. God bless you!
Deb, This ministered to me deeply today. You describe exactly what I’ve often felt like when it comes to my own “silent grief.” Thank you so much because I feel less alone with it than before.
I’m so glad this blessed and encouraged you, Patti. It’s hard to have a story of grief that you feel you have to carry alone. I’m sorry. It’s a difficult path. I am so thankful that we can take those burdens to the Lord. He has promised to help us carry them and I’m sure that like me, you have learned that He is faithful to keep His promises. God bless you! Hugs!