This is for the One Hurting with Silent Grief

This is for you, the one hurting with silent grief. The one whose life has been altered by a loss or event that's left you feeling broken and alone.

This is for you, the one hurting with silent grief.

The one whose life has been altered by a loss or event that’s left you feeling broken and alone.

You can’t talk about it. There are reasons known only to you.

You see people grieving openly and you envy the love, support, and understanding they receive.

But you grieve behind closed doors. In the dark. Alone.

No one understands why you’re not as social as you once were. They don’t know how much you hate answering simple questions like…

Tell me about your family?
How many children do you have?
What are your kids up to these days?
Do you have any grandchildren?
How’s  your spouse?
Or __________?

You’re uncomfortable meeting new people. Every introduction comes with the normal get to know you questions. And every question takes you back to what isn’t. To what you’ve lost.

So you pause over every invitation. Will it be worth the effort? The reminders? The pain?

This is for you because…

No matter how silent grief feels . . . you are not alone! 

This is for you, the one hurting with silent grief. The one whose life has been altered by a loss or event that's left you feeling broken and alone.

7 Reasons You Never Grieve Alone

You belong to God – He sees you.

Always under God’s watchful care, He sees you as valued, beautiful, and loved. Your grieving heart matters to Him.

Thereafter, Hagar used another name to refer to the Lord, who had spoken to her. She said, “You are the God who sees me.” She also said, “Have I truly seen the One who sees me?” Genesis 16:13

You belong to God – He knows everything about you. 

God made you. He calls you His child. Nothing in your life shocks or surprises Him. Even that thing you are grieving is known to Him. God cares. His hand of blessing is on you.

O Lord, you have examined my heart
    and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
    You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
    and when I rest at home.
    You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
    even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
    You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
    too great for me to understand!
Psalm 139:1–6

You belong to God – He collects every tear.

Not one tear falls without God’s care and compassion. He gathers every tear and records every sorrow-filled moment. Each one matters to Him. You matter to Him.

You keep track of all my sorrows.
    You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
    You have recorded each one in your book.
Psalm 56:8

You belong to God – He hears every prayer.

Cry out. You don’t need perfect words or a carefully crafted format. Just pour your heart out to God and He will guide you and comfort you with His perfect peace.

I cry out to the Lord;
    I plead for the Lord’s mercy.
I pour out my complaints before him
    and tell Him all my troubles.
When I am overwhelmed,
    you alone know the way I should turn.
Psalm 142:1–3

You belong to God – He is with you always.

Always! Forever! God’s Spirit is with you. You are never without His comforting presence. Jesus promised.

And be sure of this:
“I am with you always, even to the end of the age.”
Matthew 28:20

You belong to God – He will help you. 

Your Father doesn’t just offer you a listening ear, He will help you. His love never fails. When people make you feel judged and uncomfortable . . . turn to God’s love. You can count on His healing love.

God has said,
“I will never fail you.

    I will never abandon you.”

 So we can say with confidence,

“The Lord is my helper,
    so I will have no fear.
    What can mere people do to me?
Hebrews 13:5–6

You belong to God – He will give you peace. 

Jesus, the Prince of Peace, wants to give you peace. Nothing you experience is new to Him. He was betrayed, rejected, abused, and denied. He knows and understands your pain and offers to replace it with satisfaction and calm assurance that with Him you will be okay.

I am leaving you with a gift—peace of mind and heart. And the peace I give is a gift the world cannot give. So don’t be troubled or afraid. John 14:27

So, to you the one with silent grief.

You are not alone.

Your Father sees you, the Holy Spirit is with you, and Jesus offers you His peace.

This is for you, the one hurting with silent grief. The one whose life has been altered by a loss or event that's left you feeling broken and alone.

There’s one more thing I want you to know…

I needed this. I wrote it for me. If you’re blessed, I’m thankful.

I wrote it for me because I know what it’s like to live with silent grief. I know what it’s like to feel judged and have people gossip and speculate.

Like you, I need a regular reminder of God’s promises that I am not alone.

I can’t control what other people think. But I can control what I think and when I struggle with silent lonely grief I have to go to God’s truth that gives me peace.

God sees me. He knows me. He gathers my tears and hears every prayer. He is with me. And He will help me and give me peace.

 And God does those things for you, too.

No matter what you’ve done or what has been done to you . . . my friend, you are not alone. You are loved and precious. More than you will ever know.

The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; He will rejoice over you with gladness; He will quiet you by His love; He will exult over you with loud singing. Zechariah 3:17

Now it’s time for…

Faith ‘n Friends Link Party

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Deb Wolf
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Feature Post

I’m excited to share the following post with you this week.

I loved this insightful conversation Mary had with her
physically challenged friend. You will love her ability to
laugh at herself and teach us all a valuable lesson.

Are Superpowers Transferable?

by Mary Dolan Flaherty

@ SonRise Insights

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43 thoughts on “This is for the One Hurting with Silent Grief

  1. Deb- what a helpful post! Aren’t we blessed to never be alone?
    God promises to wipe the tears from our eyes and be close to us. What comfort!
    Thank you for hosting!

  2. Deb, this is a great post–as always. At first glance, I thought I might skip over it, since I don’t really “need this” right now. But I decided to read it and realized that there is an area of my life that I grieve–a person very close to me who I grieve over…and because of the close relationship, there is no one I can really tell. So, yes, it hit a nerve and I thank you for the encouraging words and scripture. I know that God knows what both of us are going through And thank you for featuring my post-I’m truly honored.

  3. Deb, thank you for such a helpful post. This is a great resource to have to offer to others in need as well. I am so grateful that He never leaves me alone and scoops up my every tear. These are reassuring of how much we each truly are loved by our God. Blessings!

  4. I so understand the hesitation of meeting new people and having to field the questions, “How many children do you have? Do you have any grandchildren?” etc. and not knowing how to answer. To answer honestly just brings more questions or comments such as, “Oh! That must be nice! Where do they live? Will they be coming for Christmas?” Ugh. I have discovered that it is much easier to simply avoid the questions…change the subject…pretend I didn’t hear it. Otherwise, it opens up wounds and can rub them raw. Am I avoiding my pain? Maybe…

    Praise God that He is with us, though! He does give peace, doesn’t He? He’s been my Rock and comfort over these past 3 years. He heals and restores…and He brings back joy. And, He brings people into our lives to encourage us…such as you, Deb! Thanks for allowing God to work through you those years ago when I first heard your story…your kind words meant (and still do mean) a lot to me.

    Blessings & love, Joan
    Joan recently posted..Sharing His Beauty Blog Link Up – Summer BreakMy Profile

  5. Deb, you wrote this for yourself, and I am so sorry you had the experience needed to write it. But of course you know you also wrote it for everyone, because I think we all have silent grief we carry around…a story most other people do not know about. Thank you for these tender, caring words, and for the reminders of the passionate compassion of God.
    Elizabeth recently posted..20 Classes Moms Would Take If Motherhood Was a PhD ProgramMy Profile

  6. With Elizabeth, I’m so sorry that you had to write this because of your own silent grief, Deb. But please know what a blessing your words were to my heart and soul today. There is much comfort in His constant presence and peace.
    Martha Orlando recently posted..Yours, JackMy Profile

  7. Deb, this is a very encouraging post. So many of us have things we grieve that cannot be shared with others, but God is always there. Thank you so much for your encouragement. Blessings!

  8. I still remember the day when I read Psalm 139 and just wept because it sunk in how amazing it was that He loved me so much that He would care that much to stay so close and keep His eyes and ears constantly open to even my every thought.

  9. So true! So many people are dealing silently with their chronic illness, grief – pain, suffering etc. Some are at a loss as to why, others are angry, others have withdrawn and others are doing all of these things.

    We all need to know we are not alone. thank you for sharing this!
    marie recently posted..10 Reasons to Send Snail MailMy Profile

  10. Your words are so important, Deb. I know of a gal who would benefit greatly from this post, so I’ll be sharing it with her! And I didn’t know you did a linkup, my friend. I’ll be sure to join you. I’m not sure, but am assuming it starts on Fridays? Also, I love Mary and humor so I’m excited to see that you’re highlighting her here today.

  11. Gulp … deep breath … and an Amen, Deb. We belong and there is nothing too big, too bad, or too much that will separate that love from us. Thank you for this beautiful encouragement and hope, my friend! This is just the hope I pray for to fill up the page at #MomentsofHope!

  12. Deb, thank you so much for sharing this with Mommy Moments last week. My heart needed this encouragement, comfort and the deep reminder that we never grieve alone. This was the top viewed link from last week and will be featured in this week’s link up so even more women can be blessed!

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